I really think there is a danger in trying to help you sight unseen.
That could lead to your taking a bucketful of drugs and vitamins in a compulsive search for a magic bullet.
I will put a radical proposal to you. You may be normal. I am not asking you to believe you are normal when you do not. Just to consider that maybe you are.
Normal does not mean perfect. Sit in the mall or wherever and look at each person. Some are tall and skinny, some short and stout, some are bald, some are not so clever, some strong, some weak etc. Even supermodels are hyperaware of some imagined defect, their boobs are too big or too small, or their ears or feet too big. Sigh. It is hard to be perfect – don’t bother.
You won’t be able to tell by looking but virtually everyone has some health problem, a bad back, allergies, vision, hearing, high blood pressure, obesity etc etc. Welcome to the club.
Now ok a year or so ago you had a heart issue. One thing you can be pretty sure of is that was thoroughly checked and dealt with. At the time you would have been worried about your health and maybe anxious and depressed. That is the past done, and dusted. We also know you don’t have cancer, liver problems etc etc. And sleeping 8 hours is normal.
We also know from your age that you are growing and in a time of change and adjustment. What say we look at the basics, especially the things under your control.
Diet. The best source of vitamins and good health is a healthy diet. That means no sugar, white bread or stuff with lots of additives. Whole grain bread and lots of coloured vegetables and fruits. Sounds a bit difficult but actually easy after a while
Two depression is a funny thing. Usually it is called a disease, but it really is a symptom. One guy’s depression was due to excess coffee. Another forgot that while he was depressed after his mum died he wasn’t now. Lots of causes. Funny though one of the best treatments is exercise. Patients sent on a jog around the hospital did better than those on meds. Second another great secret is to be so absorbed in something, a book, a game, an interest, that you don’t have time to focus on how bad you might feel of you focussed on that. In other words make your focus external not on your body or mind.
I see a major problem is anxiety. OCD can be a form of anxiety do you think? Like if you don’t wash your hands twenty times, turn clockwise 5 times, step backwards two steps, then forwards twice, and say abracadabra six times while pulling your left ear, then the sky will fall in, which is pretty scary and a big responsibility for you.
Anxiety is pretty scary too. Lots of people are shy or worry that their dress looks funny or their fly is undone. Wotif wotif wotif. Actually no one is bothered much they are too preoccupied with their own things or have learned not to give a toss. Stuff happens we survive.
There is one trick though that works. Meditation. If you have a minute I can teach you. Don’t tell anyone though because they think that you should do a special course and pay $$$$. The idea is simple. You focus on one thing. Of course you drift off, then just come back on target. With practise you spend more time on target. Not always, sometimes a bit left, then a bit right, then oops where is it, just more.
The focus can be your breathing, your navel, or some magic word. For you I suggest the magic word RELAX.
Okay so you just go RELAX every ten seconds or so and quite quickly one bit goes “this is stupid” (the critic bit). “I am hungry “(the stomach bit). “The phone is ringing” (the ear bit). “I can’t do this “(the put down bit). “You should do this now” (the distractor or bossy britches bit).
And each time that bit gets ignored and told RELAX. So it goes “Maybe she didn’t hear me”, and it shouts “I am hungry. I want food now”. And each time your response is RELAX. Finally after twenty or a hundred and twenty times those bits get the message, “Hmm maybe she means it. Maybe I should just RELAX. After all she is the boss and I tried. I told her wotif and look out but she said cool it. Okay I guess. If it makes her feel better, well …”
Congratulations you are winning control and teaching all those pesky bits to get in line there, and RELAX, no arguments just do it. You are the conductor, the boss, numero uno, and sure sometimes you need a prompt to watch out for that car but not all the time. There are no cars or buses in your bedroom – just guessing.
Try this for ten minutes or so when you can a few times a day. Become the master.
Maybe when the anxiety, the depression and OCD go some of the physical things will too. Well anyway you will feel better. Confident too. Maybe in time x y or z will also prove helpful. That’s the future. In the meantime, now, there are things you can do. Maybe. What do you .think? Have fun. No charge, instead smile at 5 people a day.