Hi guys!
So I'm back here again looking for support. A few weeks ago I posted here for the first time & it really gave me encouragement to try & cut back my drinking & go see my doctor. I had every intention & with the support of everyone's kind words I thought I'd do it. I failed!!! I'm still drinking heavily at the weekend & maybe a night during the week a half bottle of vodka at a time. This has been the the last 12 years - I'm 36 .
I'm lost I don't know how to approach this anymore I'm scared of losing my best friend the alcohol. My husband knows I've had a bit of a problem but not the extent of it as I hide the drinking from him most of the time.
My plan is to only drink this Saturday & cut out the rest of it & try stick to that. It's hard though on Sunday's I do want to drink again. I drank last night & I want to drink again tonight. The thought just popped into my head a while ago & I'm thinking jut tonight & then Saturday & from then on only once a week.
Am i kidding myself?
Sadie,
I was drubking very heavily a few years ago and what caused me to stop completely was several things:-
Got sacked
Lost my flat as was not earning any money and kept missing mortgage payments
Could not see my daughter as could not afford maintenance
Ended up living with my elderly mother
Sank into depression
I have now been sober for over a year now and am gradually getting my life in order and will soon be back in work (I hope)
i.
Unless you are a very strong character and willing to change your routine, then yes you are kidding yourself if you think you will do it without medication and dedication.
Thanks for the reply.
I tend not to drink during the week as I work & I have a 4 year old son. It's mainly at the weekend & it's what I look forward to. I don't feel I have a physical dependency on it but I so look forward to drinking. The thought of the weekend without it seems so boring. I don't know if I need to give up entirely or just stick to one night a week. The trouble is once I start I will keep drinking until the bottle is empty.
I'm glad to hear you are doing well with staying sober & I hope you are on a much better path
I was years ago drinking 4 to 5 times a week but I managed to cut back to 2 or 3. The funny thing is if I was going to be alone for the evening I wouldn't bother at all I have to be in company . I will secret drink upstairs & then sit with my husband drunk & he doesn't know
Hi Sadie,Your 36! And have a life ahead of you! Please please don't ruin your life.I lost my Mother when I was just over 18,& my Dad in 1987.They were both Alcoholic S.So my Childhood was not a happy one! You don't want to loose your loved ones,who do care for you. Remember you only have one liver.Regards Amanda
" I will secret drink upstairs & then sit with my husband drunk & he doesn't know"
What makes you think he doesn't know? Think, before you reply, he never says anything to me.
" I don't feel I have a physical dependency on it"
"but I so look forward to drinking"
"The thought of the weekend without it seems so boring"
"The trouble is once I start I will keep drinking until the bottle is empty."
Read the first statement on its own and then read the next three statements together.
Wow well pointed out RHGB ...Sadie has answered her own questions in those statements
He caught me out a few times before but thinks I've stopped or he doesn't know the extent of it. I feel once j know I can do it once a week I'll be ok - mad I know!!
I mean I don't wake up & want a drink I think I use it to self medicate. I starting this ritual drinking years ago when my self confidence wasn't great & I ended up in a bad relationship & the drinking helped me forget my reality at night
Thank you Amanda! I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother & Dad. I do think how will this effect my son but I continue . I don't know what steps to take . I'm afraid to go to the doc & think I'll try do it myself & taper down
Hi Sadie, Thanks for your reply.At least your being honest.Have you thought about joining a group? If you have a good Gp I would suggest you make a double appointment ,write things down! This always helps.Hope your OK.regards Amanda
Tonight I started to drink - I had 2 & could of went on but I said no to myself & stopped. I've decided I'm going to try only drinking on Saturdays with my husband. I've said this before & failed but I actually stopped myself tonight. I'm lying in bed now sober after having 2 drinks earlier & stopping.
I don't think I could join a group to be honest it makes me feel uneasy & uncomfortable. I'm going to keep posting here & be honest with you all here & see if I can cut back. If after a month I don't I'm going to the doc
I was like you once. Binge drank at weekends and thought I didn't have a problem as I was doing a degree and working during the week. 10 years later I'm drinking daily, have lost my daughter and my partner, had to give up work before I got sacked, my family have disowned me, i have a criminal record for offences I committed while drunk, I've been sexually assaulted, beaten up, mugged. Now my health is suffering.
Alcohol is not your friend.
I never anticipated that my life would end up such a mess because I lived in denial and believed I was just having a good time because alcohol made everything feel better.
You have a problem if you can't knock it on the head. You've made the first step by looking at your drinking habits but acknowledge it for what it is. It shouldn't take a long list of consequences to establish if alcohol is doing you harm.
Hi Kelly,
Thank you for your response. I'm sorry to hear your story my heart goes out to you.
I have been drinking for 12 years at the weekends but I have managed to hold down work & not let it effect life in that sense. I'm more worried about the health damage I'm doing to myself & it effecting my husband child.
I'm only going to openly drink with my husband this Sat as we have drinks & takeaway night & that's it no drinking Sunday or the rest of the week. I feel can do that Sunday will be the biggest challenge - it will be a start for me. I managed to cut out Friday's over a year ago.
Are you getting any help for your daily drinking?
Hi Sadie, Up until mid-November I was very similar to you. I suppose I was what you'd class as a high functioning alchoholic and my biggest problem was a couple of drinks would turn into a binge. My house of cards almost collapsed but luckily my missus gave me one last chance to sort myself out.
I spent a couple of days searching the web for answers and finaly got some help and support from a lady called Joanna from C3 Europe. She posted some of my story earlier this morning.
It's worth a quick read just look for cthreeeurope on facebook
I hope this helps a little.
Kind Regards
Steve
amazing reply Mark. Well done! Robin
how is the weekend? Planning to drink or stopping?? Robin
Hi Sadie. No I'm not doing anything about my drinking at the moment so in that respect I am a total hypocrite. I don't really have much incentive anymore. I just wanted to reach out to you, as I said, my drinking habits started off in the same pattern as you. I understand when you mention the boredom and fear of living without alcohol. But in the end I'm living without so many other things and people in my life because I thought I could have it all and alcohol aswell.
Apologies if this is a repeat. I couldn't see if my previous response was posted.
I hope your able to stick to your plans this weekend.
Kelly