Been on Mirtazapine 4 week, just started having days where i wish i was dead.

Treatment and medication
1

In February I had a panic attack out of nowhere, not even sure what trigured it. Me and my wife were putting our 7 month old to bed, I had a little pull feeling in my chest, then out of nowhere I had tightning in my chest, legs turned to jelly and I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. Im 31, never experienced one before, so I didn't know what it was.

So my Wife phoned the hospital and after taking blood, xrays in my heart, ecg and a few other tests, I was told it was just a panic attack and that they believe I had a problem with anxiety.

Now I've always had issues with my head, I saw my first psychiatrist when I was 11, tried committing suicide at 24, was tested for bipolar a few years back and was instead diagnosed with depression.

But the thing is, I have been incredibly happy these last 6 years! I got married to my wife, had a beautiful son and everything has been amazing. Had no depression, anxiety or anything.But out of nowhere, since that panic attack in feb, I have been a complete mess.

The doctor has put me on 30mg of mirtazapine and for the first couple of week, I actually felt ok. But the past 5 days have been hard! I've been getting extremely anxious and getting cold sweats. I can't say I've had thoughts of trying to harm myself, but I have had thoughts that I can't cope with feeling like this and I wish I was dead.

I have told this to my wife and she has said it could be side effects, but if so, will it subside?

I think what's getting me the most, is the fact that this has all hit me out of nowhere and the most confusing part is, I know I have a good life and I'm happy in it, but for some reason at the same time, I'm a complete mess.

2

Hi Danny I also started off well with mirtazapine felt really bright for a change but only lasting a couple of weeks..the side effects dnt seem to get any better either I had a list by the time I got off it. I was on it for 4 months. .Iv switched to venlafaxine seems ok upto now..

3

Hi Danny,

Get back to your doctor immediately and tell him. He/she knows you and we on this forum don't. Please do it asap,

4

Hi Danny,

I'm a psychotherapist and what you have described is normal (I know thats no consolation when you feel as you have described) for someone who has had some difficult life experiences. You mentioned your past history and that indicates that there are things in your background that are asking you to be addressed. These things become unconscious when you are going through them because your mind and your life circumstances do not allow them to distract you from the task of living. However, when your life becomes happy and stable they begin to bother you - they are asking that you now resolve them. This will require courage and strength from you, and someone to support you through it all. The best option will be to seek psychotherapy - preferably long term, (a fully registered and qualified Integrative pscyhodynamic and relational psychotherapist) as CBT will not be able to go indepth with you. If you begin psychotherapy, tell your psychiatrist. Also tell him/her about the side effects of your medications - they may (or may not) be able to change them. If you do both pscyhotherapy and meds, eventually with the guidance and support of your psychiatrist, you may be able to come off the meds in the future. I wish you all the best. It sounds like you have a lovely wife and son who will be your strength and support as you go through this. Be kind to yourself and take care. All the very best. Mel

 

5

Hi Danny

I would go back to your doctor dont think the mirt is agreeing with you.

As for anxiety there is rhyme or reason to it and it just hits you out of the blue

Stay Strong

6

Hi Danny

I cant believe the doctor just put you on Mirtz after one panic attack!!!  and now you are having feelings of suicide its absolutely shocking!!!  I would definitely say come off them as soon as you can, obviously carefully by reducing them.  Im sure there are underlying problems that may have caused this as I had a similar experience where I had a panic attack at work without even feeling depressed or anxious, again the doctors diagnosed a panic attack.  I took a week off of work, and wasnt prescribed anti-depressants just rest which helped so much.  I did around a year and a half later have lots of things go wrong in my life all at once which then brought on depression and then I was prescribed Mirtz but no way would I have taken them for just a panic attack,  they are so hard to come off of, I do think doctors just prescibe you any old drug of which you have no idea how it will affect your well being.  I would definintely come off them and find a psychotherapist to help you instead so much safer!! Take care

7

Thank you everyone for the responses.

A few hours after I posted my initial post, I had a complete breakdown. The suicidal thoughts were back and I just couldn't cope. I've seen my GP today and the crisis team have just been to see me. After expressing my concerns of mirtazapine to my gp and the crisis team, both feel that I should stay on it and on 30mg dose. And that I need psychiatry and regular visits from the community mental health team. So I guess I'll be staying in mirtazapine.

The crisis team believe I have an issue with something called catastrophizing and that is what is causing my concerns of mirtazapine.

8

I'm suffering the same Danny and have the Crisis Team involved for over 2 weeks now and yes I catastrophize as well especially about mirt and AD's in general.