So my link worker and health visitor have said I'm not allowed counciling unless I stop drinking alcohol all together! Is this right?
When it comes to your alcohol intake, how much are you drinking?
Anything from a couple of pint of cider to 8/9 it's not everyday n I'm not dependant on it just find it's the only thing helping at the moment
I'd say to follow their advice then, frankly. Obviously I can't understand your exact situation - I know I frequently see you posting on here and I do recall sending you a private message once upon a time.
What you have to understand is that the people you're talking to are not your enemies nor would they give you advice on what to do unless they felt it impacted your health. It is, at the end of the day, in their best interest to put your health first so they wouldn't tell you to do something unless it served a purpose.
Alcohol will lessen the likelihood of your receptiveness to care - as with medication, it alters the way you think about things. Medication, however, is also not always the answer so you need to start learning how to cope with whatever it is you have been diagnosed with using alternative means of therapy; this requires work on your part. Nothing will be provided to you unless you look into things for yourself and develop your own tools to use to cope.
I'm rubbish at findin time to reply to messages I have two small children who take up a lot of my time! I do recall ur messages and what u say makes sense. I don't want to be on medication I'm on my 3rd different anti d and still feel like there doin nothing! I know what I need and that is counselling as have a lot o issues I've not dealt with! But all everyone keeps telling me is I'm stressed coz I have children etc n I feel like they r trying to blame my situation only kids but it's not there problem! They aren't causing my depression it's the abuse I had wen I was a teen the miscarriage I had the fact the love of my life committed suicide etc
EMDR + Counselling, I'd say.
Think of receiving both as a reward for not drinking.
What's emdr?
Trauma therapy.
Ah right how do I get that then?
Asking for a referal from your GP or making an enquiry whenever you gain access to the part of the trust that the counselling belongs to. If they offer it.
Yes it is right. It costs about £100 to organise and give you one session of counselling, it is a total waste of our taxes if you are not helping yourself as much as you can. If you can afford to drink you can afford to pay for your own counselling anyway.
Think thats a bit harsh but your welcome to ur opinion!!!
Dear Anna, you have as much right to all and any help you need, the cost
Should not come into it... your doctor has a duty of care which is always
Absolutely essential as you have young children.. I know how hard it can be to stop drinking but don't give up trying, ask your doctor if you can
Have a specialist alcohol nurse, they are excellent and very caring they
Treat each patient with respect and understanding... I wish you all the
Luck in the world.. take care and be kind to yourself.... Deirdre x
Thank you for your kind reply
i have an appt with my doctor this morning and my health visitor was suppose to be speaking with her to.
I know i. Eed to get sorted as i dont want my children to grow up thinking drinking and self harming is a normal thing to do each day.
i just feel like im not getting anywhere at the moment x
Actually Deidre you are being rather naive. If everyone could run to their doctor and demand thousands of pounds worth of counselling we would all have to pay 90% tax and there would be no such thing as a private therapist. The doctor and the other people who have met and spoken to this person are far more able to judge if they are suitable and worthy than you. They have looked at the person's medical history and attitude and that is how you decide. You cannot simply give thousands of pounds worth of counselling to everyone and anyone. It would cost far too much.
If the young children are to be involved then that is all the more reason to stop drinking. I know several people who had been heavy drinkers and stopped without expecting doctors and other people to help them. If the parent is a danger to the children then they remove the children.
"i dont want my children to grow up thinking drinking and self harming is a normal thing to do each day."
They won't think it is normal because they won't even see. If your social worker determines that there is a risk to your child, or a risk that your child will bear witness to this, as Carmel said, they will simply be removed from harm's way and taken out of your care.
So this, again, is even more incentive, isn't it?
It's harsh what has been said - and you may feel as though you're being attacked - but this is the reality of the situation. I think unfortunetly in Carmel's case, there is a lack of empathy there on a basic human level of understanding but it's difficult for anybody to sugarcoat it or give you reassurance when you're revealing over time that, actually, the biggest problem seems to be you.
Hi Carmel, I hope that you are well...
Everybody has access to get help at CAS ( community alcohol service )
You can either phone or go in person to make an appointment to see
Someone, you do not have to be referred by your GP. As you should
Already know.. I had an excellent nurse who was the head nurse at
( Woodleigh Beeches ) a very large in patient clinic for alcohol, drugs and
Eating disorders, it is in Warwick on the site of the old ( Hatton )
Mental hospital.... Mary is now involved with the transplant team at
BIRMINGHAM CITY HOSPITAL..she oversees the treatment of patients
Who have alcohol problems and require a liver transplant.. Mary is there
All the way through from the first referral through the transplant
Procedure and the patient leaving the hospital and then the aftercare...
Mary was not only my nurse and one of my CPNs she was also a very
Good friend to myself and my family...
If you want to help alcoholics, then why do you give such negative
Replies? I had 10 years of treatment as an in patient and an out
Patient, I was always treated with the utmost courtesy and kindness...
Why did you not advise achievable the help she could receive, she is
Obviously in need of help and encouragement.... isn't that supposed to
Be the role of counsellors... can you try to be kinder to people who are
Struggling, that is why people post on here for encouragement and
Hopefully understanding...
Have a good and hopefully productive day..regards. to you
And Annie do not give up, you will be able to get help, I sincerely wish you all the very best, take care and be kind to yourself, let us know how you
Are keeping xx Deirdre
I wouldn't take it personally, Deirdre. Carmel has a reputation on these forums for displaying an obvious disdain for those with issues rather than offer any real or practical advice, or display human empathy. It's 'glass half empty' for her; sort of "you know what your problem is? It's..." rather than "your problem seems to be... and here is what you can do to help yourself... all the best"
I'm assuming because she is on these Mental Health forums and has some degree of insight into the nature of the care environment that she's a professional in that field. I think it's people like her I always struggled with in the past whenever it came to reaching out for care, or being passed from pillar to post with care, and thinking to question the structure; so-called professionals on an ego trip being spoken back to by somebody they could empathise with if only they had a shred of humanity about them. A waste of time; the absolute worst people to try and work with.
My previous cognitive behavioural therapist possessed a very similar attitude. She came from background working within the prison service (incidentally) - I remember distinctly talking to her about my partner being pregnant and rather than offer any kind of human response like 'congratulations', it was sort of automated negativity; "is it wanted?" I remember being her first question. From what I know in speaking to her line manager, she's having to "meet objectives" now, "under supervision."
Carmel strikes me as being somebody with an axe to grind. Either that or she sees in Anna somebody who, as a service user, would be better suited neglected so that real, receptive, mutual care can provided to more desperate people. The mention of cost springs to mind. Sort of, "you're sitting here talking of how desperate you are and yet ££££'s are being wasted on you whilst somebody else, with a more pro-active attitude, suffers without any care" - but then she didn't say that.
A place like this might actually provide a vent for Carmel where she is unable to in a professional capacity because it's likely she'd be scrutinised by her superiors. I picture her angrily tapping away at a keyboard saying, "I hate you all; I hate you all! I hate my job! I tolerate people like you all the bloody time! I hate you all!"
Regardless, I hope you find some help Anna, but use what I said to you as a warning and hopefully some kind of incentive.
Dear booing, very many thanks for your very supportive reply, as you say
Carmel does not seem to like anybody with a problem, which would be
Rather difficult if she was your counsellor...
Annie has been through successive traumas which has a real impact on
How you cope with life... I would like to ask Annie's she has any other
Source of support such as her own family, or the family of her sadly
Deceased partner,, as a self harmer she is displaying signs of severe
Distress, it can be very difficult to overcome ( my daughter was a self
Harmer for many years ) I am ashamed to say that the cause was my
Drinking problem, it has taken me very many years to be able to live
With myself....I am very fortunate that I had a huge amount of support
From my family and very many others, it literally saved my life..
Annie needs all the help that she can get, especially as she has two
Young children, the comments that Carmel makes are not just unhelpful
Advice wise, but they would make you feel much worse if people like
Her think or decide that anyone is not worthy of being offered any help...
Many thanks to you once again I am very glad to see someone standing
Up to her, many regards to you, and to Annie please keep your chin up
And let us know how you are keeping, with very sincere and kindest
Regards to you both, take care ,, DEIRDRE xx
I came on here for a bit of support not to be attacked i have enough going on in my life without being attacked on a forum
at no point did i say i didnt want help thats what im desperate for
WONT be posting on here again