BODY SNATCHED!!! - I want "me" back

Women's health
1

Yay, I have found people who are going through the same as me, it seems no one else understands

So, about 4 months ago I started getting hectic hot flushes, about 7-10 a day.....within a week my whole world fell apart and it is getting worse.  I am glad I am not the only one who thinks they are dying from some terminal disease. Turning 50 in a few weeks and I was expecting "the change" but  NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR THIS.  I have always been extremely active, I am a fitness instructor and I run, now I feel that I could not even be bothered getting out of bed most days. I NEVER take medication and now I am on anti-despressants, tranquilizers and sleeping tablets. It's like I woke up one day and I had been body snatched! Here's what I have to deal with on a daily basis:

Hot flushes

heart pulpitations

weakness and shaking

aching muscles and joints, especially between my shoulder blades and my legs

painful breasts

constant anxiety causing chest pain and tightness

I fluctuate between holding back the tears or ripping someone's head off

headaches

extremely dry skin

i try to stay positive and deal with it, but there are days, like today when I go so incredibly overwhelmed and I just so desperately want to be normal again. It's affecting my relationships and interferring with my training which makes me more despressed and anxious as I am training for my first ultra marathon next year.

everyone says "hang in there - it will get better"....well....when???? 

2

Nancy

I would tell you when but i do not know myself.

I am not who I was either.

At least you are able to function as an instructor and that takes a lot of fortitude, i could not do that.

This is

a brutal time in our lives, more for some than others for sure.

The depression hit me like a train and i dont think i will be the same again. Maybe we

are not supposed to be the same but transition into the new us.

Im so far taking bioidenticals- progesterone only- not helping much.

I am resisting antidepressants because i so far have not had luck.

I know we are trying to support eachother but its too much sometimes

i hear you sister.

xoxox

3

Hi nancey,

Many women can relate with what you are experiencing for sure. It is hard to believe that most of us women get to this point in our lives without anyone telling us, "look our whats ahead". For some reason women don't share this and when we get here it is a shock to all of us. The depletion of hormones that have kept us well our whole life is the problem. Awful stuff starts to happen and some pretty rapidly when our periods finally end. I can remember waiting and wishing for my periods to finally end. Boy if I knew once they end things get worse I would have wanted periods forever. I too felt loneliness, depressed, hair falling out, skin changing by the day. My lubrication was going and what I thought would be a good intimate life after children were raised turned into a mess. I can't tell you how much I read. Read and and read lots on bio identical hormones. I searched for a holistic doctor and found one in my area that is well versed on HRT. It changed my life immediately. Women don't have to suffer through this and " hope" it gets better. The truth of the matter is some women still talk well into their 70's of feeling hot flushes and not so good. Vaginal atrophy is another zinger that gets women if our hormones are not replenished. It can kill any intimacy that is so important to keep alive for health and happiness. A good doctor will run a lot of bloodwork and run it regularly according to your symptoms and labs they will put you on what you need to start turning things around for you. I'm 57 post menopausal for over two years. Have been on bio identical estrodial/estriol and testosterone and OTC progesterone. I sleep all night, I am not depressed, life is really good for me now. For some women it is not just a snap and everything is fixed but with the right doctor and right hormones ( not synthetics) I believe you can feel a lot better. Read up on bio identicals, watch some videos online, you will be surprised the information available. Just reading and getting informed on this stuff you will understand more what is happening to you and feel better knowing there is fixes out there. Good luck!

4

Hi Nancy

Same!!! Just turned 50 this month and it has been the worst month of my life. I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. Not sleeping is killing me. I have gained 20 pds in 3 months which is horrifying as I have always been in pretty good shape. Now I am a big bloated cry baby. And I'm mean. A big fat mean crybaby!!!! I want to be my old self again.

5

I have all your symptoms and I'm only 43. I've had these for about 9 mths now. I know it is depressing at times. Knowing that all women will go through this natural process but at different ages should hopefully, make you feel a little better. I didn't want to accept all these changes. I tried over the counter natural pills like estroven but they didn't help. I have about 5-10 hot flashes a day too and I hate it!!!! Thinking about HRT and outweighing the negative with the positive. Talk to your dr and see what's best for you. You are a trainer and you already inspire me. Good luck on your marathon next year. 

6

True they don't warn us about this. Perhaps they should have antemenopause classes to prepare us like they have antenatal classes to prepared us for giving birth!

However, my doctor did point out that we are the first generation to go through this. My mum and all her aunties and friends were all automatically put on HRT. Not sure what my grandmothers did - perhaps they just knuckled down and go on with it, after all they had been through a war. Ours is the first generation to speak out about what is happening to us and to refuse HRT because we know know about all the risks. Is there any reason, Nancey, why you do not try HRT? I am using oestrogen cream because my main problem was vaginal dryness and painful sex (and I couldn't do without sex) and that has worked wonders, restoring me to a much younger vagina. I can cope with hot flushes. I have friends who suffered with much of your symptoms and are using HRT patches (which I will do next if things get worse), which carry less risks than oral HRT. They are so pleased they did - they have got themselves back again, their dry skin is more youthful, they are no longer anxious or depressed and no longer want to kill their husband and kids or leave them.

As you are already on antidepressants, tranquilsers and sleeping tablets - which have side effects and risks - why don't you just swap all those for HRT?

7

Sigh...thanks for the words of encouragement...I am having an even worse day today, my anxiety levels are off the charts

8

Or BHRT?

9

I feel that's it's just so unfair that we have to go through with this. My sister had this for 4 years, don't think that I can deal with this for that long!

10

thanks for the kind words Sheila. I am also trying some natural remedies as I am also a smoker and my doctor has decided that HRT would,be too risky for me. I speak to all the woman at work and in my classes and no-one seems to have gone through this to the extent that we here are going through. So glad I found this forum, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me!

11

as I am a smoker, my doc has decided it would be too risky for me.  Desparately want to quit as it just makes me feel worse but that's a whole other issue.  It's like i'm between a rock and a hard place.

12

thats very interesting what you are saying about us being fhe first generation to go through this without HRT. I think in our grandmother's times, they probably just did not talk about things like this

13

Nancy, what you are going through is totally normal but we are all different and everyone has different symptoms, a different duration of menopause and different things work to help. But you have to find a way to cope because the latest info is that it can last up to 14 years! 4 is the average. But some only have it for a few months. I recon if I think it may last for 14 years, I'll be pleasantly surprised when it is less!

14

Precisely. Kept quiet and just got in with it. Like I said, they lived through a war. Dunkirk spirit and all that.

15

Thank you for the feedback, it's wonderful to speak to women who know what I am going through.  I have started investigating options available out there and hopefully I can find something that works for me.

16

Hi Nancy, Its not fair that anyone should deal with this suffering. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I am as well. Some days are better than others. Are you taking any meds? I am curious because I am considering seeing a dr to see if there is something to get me through. Let me know.

17

Nancy,  Jude,  Sheila  Tracy

I am miffed about a few things:

Anxiety:  where does this come from? out of nowhere i feel this doom in the center of my chest

Sleep:  why is it that i wake up at 4am or 2am and cant shut it off...?

Depression:  by far the worst- the mood swings are ridiculous- and scary actually

how in the heck did i now see this coming? And from reading about all of us ladies, many of us did not see it coming. What a JOKE

Nancy how are your doing today with anxiety? When it hits me ...i just step out of that person and observe the person who has anxiety. i tell myself i am not that person, its just what is with me at this time..dont run from it, i accept it to ride along with me, but im aware that its not ME. 

Sounds hokus pokus, but i think just facing it head on and going through it (the fear etc.) so it doesnt take us over.

So hard to do though..such a struggle.

Ive put the old me on the shelf, and am trying to figure out the new me. Its quite a dramatic transition, and daunting mentally. I have my teen boys that im 100% in charge of alone...and not having the faculies that i used to have makes me feel like im not enough for them, and that itself creates such a sense of inadequacy and anxiety over the struggle to represent.

I struggle everyday, and pretend really well to the public. However people at work that know me, know im not the same anymore.

My puny advice would be to go EASY on yourself, be GOOD to yourself, dont put high expectations at this time...be gentle, stop the fight to be what it used to be, we are morphing at this time into a different self..

I personally have reduced my life to my boys and my work, period. Anything else creates much unneeded stress and anxiety, and exacerbates my symptoms.

please keep writing

it helps me and i hope i help you.

We are fragile!!

xoxoxo

 

18

As we go into menopause we bottom out of our hormones, ALL of them

I am on bioidenticals, and although they do not CURE menopause, they sure can provide much needed relief.

Not for the serious symptoms like my depression, but it can help us. 

I plan on having hormones for the rest of my life, (bio identical only) as it is a way to keep us protected from cardio/and other imbalances.

NOT having hormones is not a good thing. Weve had them all our lives, and shoudlnt be without a few.

(learned this from 3 docs i work for and a pharmacist lady I know who has a Phd in Ayurveda ad bioidenticals- so its not my opinion but from some reputable people in the profession)

I personally have seen a lot of peoples charts and for those women who are balanced and going into their 60's..guess what?

they are all mostly on bio identical hormones.

although some of you have risks associated with this, I personally would rethink it. the hormones outweigh for sure the risks, because you are living NOW..NOW is when you are suffering, and NOW is when you need balance in your life.

Again just my 2 cents...ive just seen it with the patients, and yes they are smokers some of them..

I used to smoke too, but just happen to quit.

hope this helps..

XXOXOO

19

You asked where does the anxiety come from. It comes from our hormones which are currently in turmoil. You have children - what happened to you straight after birth? The levels of those hormones we had during pregnancy changed completely after birth. I felt flat, just completely flat, not myself at all. The healthcare worker gave me the post natal depression test and I was slightly depressed. I had never been depressed in my life before. And we know that for some women that post natal depression is severe. Hormones. During pregnancy I had panic attacks. Again, I had never had them before. Hormones. Some women suffer severe pmt. Hormones. When I did psychology at university I learned that personality tests are useless for women because our personality changes over the course of our menstrual cycle - great, so that means who we are is never constant, who we are changes throughout the month, who we are is dictated by our hormones. Women truly are slaves to their hormones.

20

Oh I know how you feel! I just can't be bothered with life either! Bed is a good place to hide. I am crabbit, anxious, worried, lazy, unfit and sad that at 55 I'm like this. I have no one to get up for or look after, well my hubby but I can't be bothered with him either!! 

I was in HRT for a couple of years but it didn't make me feel great so I stopped it earlier this year but I still feel odd. 

It will get better, ahhh if one more person says that....... grrrr 

I feel for you I really do all I can say is force yourself to get up n out and run just run it's an escape and that feeling when you stop is like no other, also lots of wine and good friends help a bit sending hugs xxxx