me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year. we live 2 hours away, so only get to see each other on weekends due to work and petrol costs. in person, he can be amazing. he listens and answers my questions. he doesnt call me delusional or laugh at me. on text when we are away or on the phone, if i get anxiety or have a panic attack he tells me im being delusional and i cant get anxiety over something i just made up in my head. he will ignore me and say i caused it and its my fault. i really dont get how to make him see that i dont like to worry or over analyse. but when hes insulting me and telling me that all i want to do is argue, it really hurts what do i do?
It's difficult for anyone who hasn't suffered to understand, that much I do know.
Fortunately my husband is supportive, but even he admits he finds it hard to understand how I'm feeling.
Maybe try telling him those comments don't help and ask him why he is so different when you are together in person?
I can understand how that would make you feel when he does that. People don't understand what others are going through with anxiety. These are real feelings and symptoms but they just can't understand it.
Long distance relationships are very difficult to begin with and this just adds more stress for you.
If you ever get counseling for this, maybe he can go along for a session so he can actually see and hear the counselor affirming that this is real for you. And also get some suggestions as to how he can help you with this. This is just a thought.
i have! many times. i tell him i do not like to be called delusional, i do not like to be made fun of or laughed at even if he thinks what im thinking is the funniest thing ever. its serious to me, it generally makes me feel so bad. i dont know. i know he cant be perfect, but when we are away it seems its just so bad. no matter how hard i try and tell him what i need or why i do and think the way i do, he still likes to say im causing arguments.
Hi Krystal I am sorry to hear your boyfriend is making you feel bad about yourself.Anxiety is not easy for anyone to understand as we fear things which are not frightening so the fears are totally irrational to most people however you really don't need to understand an illness to be able to support someone you love.l know you probably don't want to say anything however you have to let him know that he is actually making you feel bad about yourself and increasing your anxiety.There is no excuse for his behaviour so don't allow him to do it.
i do try and tell him this all the time but it seems to happen again and again. he will just laugh or say im acting weird and delusional again and if i cry he says im too emotional or if i dont talk to him cause im upset im playing games, none of this is true! it stresses me out
Don't want to make you feel bad but he is responding in an immature way.
he is not showing any understanding for what you're going through. I'm not sure how old you and your boyfriend are but keep in mind that anything you see now that he does to upset you will only get worse as time goes on.
hope you feel better soon. ❤️
thank you so much. he is 26 years old. i know he reacts in an immature way, he knows it too sometimes but he says its hard not to react in a stupid way when im being so 'stupid' and 'delusional' ....
Maybe you should try not to talk too much about your anxiety when you are not with him.If he continues to make you feel bad l think it is time to let him go.You deserve to be treated well.
i dont talk about my anxiety as a general chat. sometimes i get nervous and have a panic attack about something and if he dont understand he will call me stupid and laugh
Please do not think it is you he has the problem if he is making your anxiety worse you will have to think about your future together.You don't need to put up with his childish behaviour
hes just told me hes sorry for not being the same as he is in person. he said he will prove to me he will change (hes said this loads before)
Well fingers crossed he means if not just tell him you are not going to put up with it anymore.Let us know how it goes.