Brain tumor, I cant live like this anymore :(?

Mental health
1

Sorry for such a long post guys I need advice. I'm 22 years old female. I have suffered from generalized anxiety since 14 and OCD and intermitent depression since I was 5-6 years old. Also have constant health anxiety that make me miserable. Last august I was in my college summer break and I started having sharp pains in my head in the same spot most of the time, but also in other parts of my head. I've had sharp and shooting weird pains in my head since I was 14 and a brain ct scan 5 years ago when I was 17 showed nothing. The thing that worries me now is the fact that rhe pain is in the same single spot most of the time, and I read it could be due a brain tumor. I have had a lot of symptoms before like muscle twitches, palpitations, low grade fevers and I also have thougt I was convinced I had heart failure, leukemya, lymphoma, glaucoma, ms, parasites in my brain etc.

My other symptoms are:

-Awful migraines

-Sudden scary headache like is being crushed or squeezed but only lasts seconds

-Head pressure and something like walking.

-shooting eye pain

-sore and tender spots on head, when I touch it sometimes I get a shooting pain or zap.

-Short memory loss (Only lasted 2 weeks, I'm better now)

-Trouble finding words (was severe last summer but I also have gotten better)

-Numbness in right side of face

-Nausea

-Pain in legs specially the left one.

-Stomachaches, pelvic and anal pain.

-Extreme hunger

-Derealization, feeling like Im a robot trapped in my body.

-Phantom smell of smoke and strawberry sauce (only happened once in months)

-Mucus smell in my nose, I'm sure this one is real(have had it for 5 years).

-Malaisse, tiredeness like when you jave the flu.

-Hot flushes.

-Waves of sudden depression that last seconds, I feel stupid, sad and weird. Last about seconds.

-Noticed left pupil was dilated and the other one wasn't so they were unequal.

Symptoms disappeared or were less noticing when I got back to college last autumn, but when I get to last winter break, the headaches got back and my other symptoms. Is any of this related? I have other symptoms implying other parts organs of my body but I won't be mentioning it now cause the thing that worries me the most is a brain cancer. I can't enjoy my life cause I think I'm terminal. I'm getting my psychology degree on december this year but I'm not excited as I should be. I see all of my school friends living their lives happily and I can't. I'm crying everytime because my family, I don't want them to cry for me and be sad. I've always been a straight A student but I started college two weeks ago and don't have the energy to continue. Lately I've been seeing a lot of brain tumor in the news and I'm scared it is a sign that I have it, ads in the internet are sometimes of cancer, my mom has been talking a lot about cancer from cell phones and I use my phone a lot and an old friend of hers recently died of brain cancer at her 60s or 70s just one month after her diagnosis. I need advice if some of you guys has gone thru the same please help could this all be my untreated anxiety and depression causing me this

2

If you had a brain tumor you would be very ill by now. Because you have had head pain since age 14.  Plus, brain tumor is progressive, symptoms don’t stop and start up.

You would have developed more serious symptoms too.

You have symptoms more associated with anxiety and stress.

I have had most of your symptoms.including tiredness, weird smells, derealization, depression, hot flashes, word search, numbness, etc.   

my diagnosis is anxiety.  

Anxiety causes hundreds of symptoms.

Headache or head pain is the most common medical complaint.  Vast majority are due to stress. It’s common to get pain in one area.  Could be migraines.

Stop googling . It won’t pertain to your individual situation. 

You are are not going to die.

You are allowing fear to take you over and negative thinking. The more you stress over this the more symptoms you will have.

 You need to calm down your mind so the symptoms decrease or go away.

Listen to great meditations on you tube for anxiety, depression, sleep, etc. 

One is called Detachment from Overthinking. 

Do things that relax you.

When you get a scary thought, DONT try to fight it off because your symptoms will be worse.  What you do is calmly acknowledge the negative thoughts. Observe them for a few seconds. Then imagine it floating off and dissolving.  This way you are in control, not the thought.   

Learn proper breathing technique. Very important.  

Search for Mindfulness breathing Guided meditation 10 minutes 

Counseling helps too.

Take POSITIVE STEPS NOT NEGATIVE STEPS. 

GET on with school, Smile, enjoy simple things, exercise, meditate, etc 

YOU CAN DO THIS! 👍🌸🌸🌸😁

 

3

It sounds like anxiety related but you can go to a doctor and rule it out. Are you going to ananxiety therapist? I identify with you watching others enjoying life and just wishing you could be like them. It’s definitly isolating having anxiety and feeling like no one understands. It takes a lot of work and therapy to get through it, I’m still fighting it. But if untreated it seems to get worse and worse, not better.

4

this post makes me want to cry. I've been through that and I'm still going through it and i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I'm so so sorry you're going through this. Jan34534 is right on point with her response. watch wonderbro and theanxietyguy on YouTube I promise they will help. much love too you girl I hope you recover soon 💕

5

Your problems Michelletatiana  seemed to pint to Anxiety, many of your problems are unrelated and your body is sensitized to general, normal pains.

The chances you have something serious is extremely rare, it will be all in the mind. 

Googling will make you relate to different health problems that you do not have, Anxiety sufferers are like a damp sponge, that soaks up unrelated health problems, this causes many irrational fears that you are on your last legs and the grim reaper is awaiting for you. This is not the case it is all to do with your body been sensitized with negative worrying thoughts that your health is failing

Talk to your GP, take a copy of your list above and explain your fears etc. There are ways to help you move on to a more trouble free life if you stick to their suggestions

Let us know how you get on

BOB

6

Hi guys sorry for the late reply, with all of my mood swings lately I've lost most of my motivation to do things but here I am. Seriously guys thank you so so much to every single one of you, who took the time to reply and advise and cheer me up., you may not believe it but I really appreciate it since I don't even get support from my family cause they don't understand this illness.

4 days ago I went to an ophtalmologist to get an eye test since I've heard they can spot signs of a brain tumors. He said that my eyes are normal, that I was just suffering from migraines and probably allergies and prescribed flunarizine, vitamin b6 shots and ergotamine for the headaches. But guess what: the whole eye test only lasted 10 minutes! And I don't know if that is the time a complete exam takes and now I'm scared he did that to get rid of me faster and tha he missed out something and my head is like a ticking bomb with a brain tumor (God forbid). I decided to go another ophtalmologist but in 6 months if treatment doesn't work. What do you guys think? An eye test just takes 10 minutes? I don't think he dilated my pupils cause I've heard that lasts at least 15 min.

Well yeah I want to believe this is just my anxiety, but somehow I think my mind is confusing me and deleting memories of my anxiety so I can focus even more in my symptoms, like when I did have weird headaches at 14 years old, I'm doubting it actually happened now and this is just all so new like I'm in a nightmare *sigh* I get all sorts of weir pain but as I said the main one is in mu head and the one that scares me the most. I don't even have arthritis cause last summer, when I also thought I had lymphoma or leukemya my blood tests were normal, except high sugar (110) since I have pcos as well, but my kidneys, liver, proteins functions are normal. I feel miserable, I just want to focus in my university. This semester I'll finally recieve training in psychotherapy I'm kind of excited cause I can apply some of my new knowledges to my life but this stupid headache and depression and anxiety don't want me to be a happy person.

7

Hi Jan thank you so much for your words, made me smile One of my schoolmates told me about the mindfulness breathing, we practised the other day and it was amazing, I promised that I will try and practise more!

You're right, google is such a useful tool but it's also like the devil for us people with anxiety. These last days I was reading young people with a gliobastma and that just make me cry, what does that happen to people and I don't want that to happen to me either omg yeah I'm a very negativr person I hate that about me!! I'm the second youngest of 9 children, I've always thought I was gonna die first! I've always seen myself as the weakest and it might be true cause my relatives leave their lives normally, and everyone and I'm just wasting my life thinking I'm ill. I wish I could be a more optimisstic person, cause I'm not immune to any disease and If I do get sick one day I hope I can stay healthy, I don't want this terrible and desctructive negative attitude!!

Thank you so much for your advices❤

8

Hi amigo I went to an endocrynologist and an eye doctor, blood tests and eye exam "normal" I don't believe the eye doctor cause the test only took 10 minutes, but well let's see how things keep going. They didn't ask for a ct scan or mri, but anyway I don't want another ct scan cause I had one when I was 17 five years ago and I was young and don't want more radiation in my head to increase my risk of cancer. An mri would be the thing that I would opt in case but I have braces and don't know If that is dangerous with the magnet!

I only went to three sessions with a psychologist and we didn't do anything i guess. My other doctor prescribed fluoxetine, but my family wont buy it cause they don't want an "addict". Anyway I'm trying to reach out to a psychiatrist maybe next month I'll see. Thanks for replying me😁

9

Aww Shay thank you for your message sweetie💕 I also hope you can recover from this nightmare and that everything that'll come to your life are just positive things, much strength and olve to you too😙. I also don't wish this on anyone, everyone is judging everytime and that I just want attention, but I tell them that I didn't choose this and that they should be grateful cause not everyone can put up with all of this! I sometimes realize that we anxiety sufferers are such strong individuals! I look at my past and sometimes I ask myself if the worst has already happened and that I've come a long way, and although the loudest voice in my head tells me that I have a brain tumor and that I'll die soon, sometimes there's also this little voice in me telling that I'm not sick, that I shouldn't be afraid and everything will be ok. When I was 17 in 2013, I thought I wouldn't see my 18th birthday cause I also was "terminally ill" and wouldn't see my baby niece but I'm still here, I survived...

10

Hi Bob!!! Thank you for your for answering😊 I think you're right but my dear mind not myself don't want to recognize that. In my country there are like 200 brain tumor diagnosed every year and I guess most of them are in older people so yeah the chances would be more rare. I've had a lot of pain all over my body,one headache is a brain tumor, aneurysm or a tapeworm in my brain, one leg pain is a sarcoma, one lower back pain is liver cancer, one pelvic pain is ovarian cancer, belly pain bowel... I'm getting sick of this, i hate this! Cause I dont know if i'm really sick or if just my mind playing nasty tricks again! Yes sometimes I'm afraid to sleep cause I feel like I will die from a sudden death. i have a lot of stupid fears! like a bat will get into my room and give me rabies so I have to check every single corner of the house to see there are no bats, or if someone in the street coughs near me it will give me tuberculosis that's just crazy but it's what happens to me.

I'm trying to get to the psychiatrist next month, I'm kind of scared cause she'll probablg order an mri gosh but I have to get out of this circle I'm tired of wasting my life like this