Brain Zaps/Shivers

Treatment and medication
1

Hi all

Well it's ermmm DAY 9 of not taking citalopram (cold turkey)

Woke this morning feeling good :D

Last night I experienced a few brain zaps/shivers what ever you want to call these extremely weird sensations going on inside my head. Haven't had many today - up until the last hour! They are coming and going on and off every couple of minutes - almost impossible to stand now without feeling like I'm going to fall over. I don't know if it's these zaps that are casuing it but I am feeling very drowsy and have a very heavy headache.

It isn't painful to look at the computer screen but the light is uncomfortable to my eyes.

Other than the above I'm feeling fine and still have no regrets about stopping citalopram.

How is everyone else coping?

Havent heard from Breezman and Nicky Jane in a while - hope you guys aren't posting because you are feeling well and out there enjoying life!

Melbi xxx

2

Good on you Melbi. You're one tough lady

Glad to hear that you're staying strong and the \"Cold Turkey\" is not proving overly painful for you.

Good luck & best regards

3

DAY 10 - Cold Turkey - gobble! gobble!

good morning stiltman and all

LOL tough or sheer craziness!

The zaps are the worst part of the withdrawal and up until last night I would have said even they are a doddle!

Now, if you have a young family or you have to go to work - I wouldn't recommend going cold turkey!

Having read the symptoms for vertigo - it isn't that but even now in between the zapping of my ever so delicate :shock: brain lol I am feeling quite light-headed and dizzy.

I really thought my time on this planet had come to an end last night - I felt weak, nausea's and the zaps travelled down my throat and into my neck making me feel like I was going to choke.

After lying down for a couple of hours they did ease off a bit and by about 11pm I was able to walk around easier.

So unless you are able to just go to bed and rest then cold turkey isn't for you!

All the anxiousness has gone - in fact I have had hardly any anxious feelings since stopping the citalopram.

In fact I have been feeling more positive about most things and have even thought - oh well sod it - if I haven't been able to change something in my life or something hasn't quite gone the way I expected it to.

Also, anyone considering going cold turkey...............

I was only on 20 mg at the time - I had only been taking citalopram for 6 and half weeks.

The site I posted yesterday does actually state that there should be no problem in stopping these tablets abruptly if taken for 6 weeks or less.

Don't be fooled! You do still (well I have) experience some withdrawal symptoms. Others may experience them far worse than I have or may not experience any at all. If you are going to go cold turkey - be prepared - have everything done that you need to be done because I have had days that I have had no motivation what so ever - headaches and now these extremely weird sensations in my head that even at one point last night not only was it any movement that triggered them off but also sounds!

Oh dear! I still have to inform the doctors of what I have gone and done! I cannot imagine getting much sympathy LOL but surely when I tell the doctor just how ill I felt on them - they will see beyond my stupidity. I couldn't have even gone and seen a doctor the week I stopped taking them - I just couldn't cope with that! I am ready now though to face a doctor and tell them that citalopram DID make me far worse than before I took them so much so that I truly believe had I continued taking them I'd be 6 foot under now.

Also, I'm not sure if I have delayed my ability to return to work for several reasons....

1) Unless the brain zaps start to ease off, there is no way I would manage a day at work.

2) Will my doctor inform my place of employment (occupational health will be involved) of my actions thus them stating in their opinion I am unfit to work as I didn't complete the treatment.

3) Will my doctor suggest a different form of treatment that will require more time off while my body and mind adjusts?

I don't want any drugs - citalopram has scared the life out of me enough for me to even consider trying anything else! I seriously do not remember having any of the side effects I experienced with this drug years ago when I suffered sever depression - back then at one time I was on prozac, they made me anorexic and suicidal (or was it the depression that made me suicidal - who really knows)

I can't rememer the name of the drugs they put me on while in hospital but I did recover - probably a mixture of the drugs and the therapies I was receiving during my hospital stay!

To end on a positive note: I slept last night without the use of any drugs what so ever! :D It took me quite a while but I got there in the end and once alseep, stayed asleep until 6am this morning.

I'm slightly l

4

Okay here goes >>>>>>>>>>>

DO NOT DO IT!

Do not go cold turkey - 10 days into it and its sheer hell! Decided to try and ignore the brain zaps and ended up throwing up and feeling like death warmed up. Doesn't feel as bad if I lie down but the minute I try to get up and do anything and its sheer hell!

5

Ouch Melbi poor you! Hope the symptoms have eased somewhat now.

I have also experienced these \"brain zaps\" - like your mind is being electrocuted followed by a sort of swimmy dizziness. Not to the same level of severity as you but disquieting all the same.

I thought it was a side effect of the Citalopram. Scary to know you're getting these while coming off these things.

I would never preach to anyone, but I do suggest you tell your doctor candidly how the Citalopram made you feel and that you want to discuss/explore alternative therapies. You know yourself better than anyone. If you feel you are being ignored or patronised, insist on speaking to another doctor. I did a couple of years ago when I felt I wasn't being taken seriously and I now have an excellent GP who treats me like an intelligent human being rather than having a \"medicine by numbers\" approach.

You're strong enough not to need their sympathy. A professional discussion and an empathetic approach to your concerns is all.

Take care & best regards

6

Hi Stiltman

They are absolutely awful aren't they.

I ended up in floods of tears earlier because of them. Someone suggested I try taking something so I had a choice

codiene or night nurse!

I'd slept for a couple of hours somerwhere around 4 or 6pm sounds daft but they were so bad I even lost track of time.

Anyway, decided on the night nurse rather than the codiene and either it was a coincidence or they helped!

I think they may have helped because the zaps are returning again :cry:

Earlier in the day I wasn't sure if resting is best or trying to carry on as normal. Turns out resting is best lol. When I tried to continue as normal and ignore them, I ended up vomiting! :shock:

I've just taken a couple more night nurse capsules so will get to bed now and have some sleep.

I'll keep everyone posted in the hope that if someone is considering stopping them (cold turkey) they can read as to what they can expect.

All is fairly calm at the moment - only slight zaps (bearable)

Hope everyone manages a good restful sleep tonight and wakes feeling refreshed and strong.

love

Melbi xxx

7

DAY 11

It took me a while to get to sleep last night despite having taken night nurse - having said that, I had taken some night nurse earlier on to help with the brain zaps, so obviously they wouldn't have the same effect taking a couple more later on to help me sleep. Oh! The world and it's drugs!!!

Once asleep I did have a pretty reasonable night, I don't think it was as restful as the night before but hey! 7/8 weeks ago I wasn't sleeping at all!

I woke around 6am (I think that is just my body clock being used to waking at that time for work) turned over and went back to sleep until 10am. Amazing - Melbi can sleep in! :D Mmmmmm! Then again - I'm not really sure that I want to become a lie in person! I don't know - it seems if I sleep in late - I find it very difficult to get myself motivated - where as if I am up early I do seem to be able to get going and get things done. (is there any end to my weirdness :roll: )

Okay - so the brain zaps - Shhhhh! I don't think my brain knows I've woken up yet! :nahnah:

I have been and made a coffee and fed the cats and so far so good - nothing but calm and tranquility abodes my brain! I think I just might allow it to sleep a little longer :zzz:

I can't say I was particularly careful with my movements - so maybe the 'zapping demon' has flown and nested elsewhere - preferably down some deep dark pit of sludge where it cannot ever escape!

So - is it the night nurse that has sedated the brain or were the brain zaps short lived and a thing of the past? :zen: I'll let you all know later!

I must repeat this though - anyone considering stopping citalopram abruptly - think carefully! :idea:

The brain zaps are extremely debilitating - I am guessing if you have been on them for a longer period than myself (6/7 weeks) and taking a higher dose than I was (20 mg) then the brain zaps could very well be far worse than I experienced and last much longer. Having read up on these weird thingies - some people have complained of still suffering from them years later - so please think very carefully!

I know! If you are like me - and there must be more than me out there that's like me :yikes: You won't take any notice of what I have posted and go cold turkey anyway! Fine - do it! go for it! Don't say you haven't been warned! :wah:

Just be sure to do it at a time when you know you are going to be able to take things very easy! It takes a lot to make be shrivel up and cry due to not feeling well - well okay - it takes a hell of a lot to make me cry full stop (not for the want of trying - I just don't seem to be able to cry these days). The tears just won't come! But those brain zaps had me shrivelled and in floods of tears yesterday - at one point I had this really strong urge to tie something tight around my head! :weird: Not sure what it would achieve but it just felt like I needed something very tight around my head - hold my brain in? :roll:

Okay, so for the rest of the withdrawal symptoms I have experienced:

I'll be completely honest here and say they weren't really that noticeable! What? Are you crazy woman? :yikes:

Basically, I had all the same symptoms as when I first started taking them - but wait for this - nowhere near as bad as when I was on the tablets!

Within a couple of days of stopping them I had started to feel like my old self again - okay some people may (may? Will!) cringe at the thought of having me back to 'normal' :boing:

I was able to think for myself again, could hold a decent conversation again, was less anxious (still am) the depression started to lift (has now gone completely) I stopped having that detached feeling and on the whole I felt and still do feel that by going on citalopram I have just wasted 7 weeks of my life, my place of employment have suffered my abs

8

'Afternoon Melbi and all.

Good to hear you were able to sleep and you're getting some respite from the brain zaps. You're right, they are totally horrible and leave you entirely disorientated and sick.

I slept 12 hours straight through last night but only thanks to the Zopiclone tablets making it happen. Not keen to take to many of these but when it seems you've had about three hours sleep in four nights and are as jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs then something's gotta give!! :evil: Feel much more relaxed today.:zzz:

Good luck with the doctor's this week. Just tell 'em how it is. You've started to take your life back and they need to support in a way that you are comfortable with.

Stay strong!

Best regards

9

Hi Melbi and Katy

Back on here again, went see my doctor last week about coming off this drug, i said i was fine, 2 more months and then withdraw she said. Thing is that i still suffer from these down dark moods and feeling very intense with my feelings. My whole life feels fake at the moment, i have accepted my marriage is over but i just cannot get my head round my new life, i know TIME but i dont like me at the mo. I feel very lonely yet i have wonderful friends and family, i miss my old life so much, feeling down now, went out on a stag do yesterday and drank stupid amounts of booze, just opened a can of beer to take the edge off, feeling down as i drink it. I know i shouldnt drink but it takes away the pain, i seem to mess up every situation i get involved in, as i write this i have no expression on my face feeling sh*t. The thing is when things go good for me i feel on top of the world and am happy go lucky, as soon as they go wrong i am back here, is this the depression ??? havent always been like this, i just look into the future and see nothing but sh*t, anyone there to talk about it, my family think im fine now so i cant talk to them, just feel like getting pissed but i wont.....

10

Hi Ja

We are all here for you.

Put the drink down - take a few slow deep breathes and try to relax.

It's difficult I know and how you describe your feelings are the way we all feel most days - with a few good days thrown in to boot.

I will send you a link to the chatroom come in there and have chat

Melbi xxx

11

Ja I can't pm you because you havent registered with patient uk

Can you register?

Melbi x

12

Well I have had a reasonable day today :D

The zaps started again at around 3pm - I took a couple of night nurse capsules and again they settled down - so I am 95% sure they do help with the brain zaps.

Next problem :oops: I just havent been able to stop eating today :roll:

:burger: :cake: :choc: :crisps: :donut: :flan: :burger: :cake: :choc: :crisps: :cupcake: :cupcake: :donut: :donut: :cake: :cake: :burger:

Going to go and look what else is in the cupboard and fridge that I can eat now!

Melbi xxx

13

[quote:e12da9e3a5=\"Stiltman\"]'Afternoon Melbi and all.

Good to hear you were able to sleep and you're getting some respite from the brain zaps. You're right, they are totally horrible and leave you entirely disorientated and sick.

I slept 12 hours straight through last night but only thanks to the Zopiclone tablets making it happen. Not keen to take to many of these but when it seems you've had about three hours sleep in four nights and are as jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs then something's gotta give!! :evil: Feel much more relaxed today.:zzz:

Good luck with the doctor's this week. Just tell 'em how it is. You've started to take your life back and they need to support in a way that you are comfortable with.

Stay strong!

Best regards

Hi Stiltman

Thank you for your kind words of support - ermmm - you don't fancy escorting me to the doctors do you by any chance :oops:

14

Ja the large amount of alcohol you consumed yesterday will be making your dark mood feel worse. Just let the mood ride and tomorrow you will start to feel better again. Drink again tonight and you have to face the mood tomorrow!

Be strong - you can do it!

15

What the hell......................

Just eaten 3 ------------------- yes 3 ham and tomato sandwiches and what happens?

They make me want more food!

Playing around with colours and stuff to try and take my mind off food

16

Hi Melbi,

im on my 3rd can now, feeling better.....not, i hate admiting i have this depression sh*t, its f'ing my life up, it cost me my marriage and warps my thinking now, it never leaves me , does depression stay with u forever ??

what i hate is that i cant control it, it controls me, ive been really good last week, but now i feel awful, good luck with your sarnies Melbi, with all your troubles u seem to b kind and have time for others, thank u......ja

17

:lol: Good Melbi, food is good. When i zap the memory of my mum sayong\"dont eat after nine\" , hey , I eat after nine....take that mother.

Hi Ja, sorry to hear you feel low again, you will get thro , youve been doing well so you know you will do well soon. Summer is coming (well I hope) That makes me a happier person.

Melbi, thank you for today, i think it has helped but feel like there is a block in my throat, because form what ive told you ....whoooooooosh , it goes bad!

Nevermind, it can only get better! Keep climbing guys, well get to the top , one day. I hope

18

Does depression stay with us forever ??

19

Hi Ja

Does depression ever go away?

No - in my experience it doesn't. I have suffered depression from around the age of 14. Doctors used to put it down to difficult teen years - hormones etc.

Yes - you do learn to control it rather than it control you but at every corner it is there waiting to take you over again.

It can be something so small and insignificent to some major upheavel in your life.

I haven't used anti depressants for over 15 years now and have over the years learnt some coping strategies.

Many people do need the help of anti depressants - I don't!

If you need them, you shouldn't cut yourself up about it. I needed them years ago - without them I wouldn't have survived so please don't stop taking them.

Perhaps ask your doctor if you can try a different one? There are loads out there - it may take several different ones before you find the right one for you.

Ja, alcohol will only make your depression harder to deal with. I know it is easier to have a drink than cope with the constant battle against your feelings but believe me it doesn't work.

I'm really sorry about the breakdown of your marriage - it can be just as tough on our loved ones as it can be on us sufferers. There should be more support out there for them too.

Try not to beat yourself up over the past - it's happened - wallow in self pity (we are good at that :roll: )

But there has to be a time when you face up to your life events - face them head on - deal with them - then put them where they belong - in the past!

Not an easy task to do if it was I wouldn't be in the need of drugs, help and support today if it was easy!

That is what we have to learn to do though! Together we can all help each other do that.

Try and get some rest now - tomorrow is a new day - look back at the last couple of days - admit to yourself you messed up - then 'bin' those thoughts and move on.

None of us are perfect - don't even try to be!

Love

Melbi xxx

20

I just cant bin those thoughts, i know alcohol doesnt help,but i cant help it, i honestly feel sometimes i so different from everyone in the way i cope with stuff, u r so right, something tiny triggers majors downers for me, why cant i cope like other people, i just want to be normal.......