I am 5 weeks recovering with another 5 to go on crutches. Regardless of my pain and inability to accomplish much of anything, my family seems to be falling apart. My teenager does her own thing and my husband has been scrambling around with food shopping and dinners. House is a mess and there is lots of stress on everyone. There is a lot off arguing and discontent. I hope we survive the next weeks to come. You need to have a supportive family to make this recivery work. We shall see if my family holds it together or not. If I could leave, I would, but I can't.
I know how you feel. I felt useless. There is just my wife and my self. She has been a great support. If you have a boot you should try walking around on your heel. It felt good to get my own coffee. I am at four weeks and I can make breakfast and help with diner. I try to help with house cleaning but not ready yet. Your family really needs to come on board for you. Hang in there this is a long process. I hope this helps you. You are not alone.
Oh I'm really sorry to hear that Lauren,
I also get a bit of arguing between my teenagers too. You're definitely not alone there I assure you. I know I'm saying things like "if I could do it I would" then they just carry on.
I made a rota for the kids before surgery. They don't always stick to it. I told them if they can't manage they should just work it out between themselves and it's working out ok. But I do get a lot of help food wise from my sister in law who lives next door.
I hope things calm down for you because the last thing you need is stress. Good luck and keep us posted.
I can relate as well. Hang in there.
I am so sorry to hear this Lauren. Recovery can be slow and a bit painful, so helpful and kind family members is what you need right now! I think you have to turn a blind eye to cobwebs and mess and do all you can to get yourself better even if that means lots of foot elevation and foot exercises. Good luck!
Hi sorry to hear your Situation..I dk how finances are but I hired a lady to clean only my restrooms and kitchen and it helped out alot and she only charged me $50 but I am older and don't have little kids but don't be shy to call friends they will really help and my dr prescribed me a knee scooter and that helps so much because I help do lil things a lull at a time but your hands are free so you feel more independent..the only time I use crutches it's for the restroom cuz the scooter don't fit..brst of luck to you!
Really sorry to hear this Lauren. Teenagers can be quite thoughtless. Don't rush your recovery though, its important to get YOU right. Take care, maybe you should show your family some of these posts. xxx
Ah poor you,
Just shows you prob do too much fir yr family normally if they grumbling when you ate unwell. I agree with other comments ignore the cleaning, elevate yr foot as thus is key to yr recovery. I live alone so had no choice but to ignore those things. I ordered take away and had ready meals first week have lost 4kg during process. I agree you should increase moving around as advised by yr own Dr and medical team.
Stress is not good for yr recovery so take yourself some where quiet, burn some aromatherapy oils listen to some music or watch a movie . Pamper yourself if yr family wont and br a bit selfish for good reason as then you will get back to yourself much more quickly. Sending you lots of love a d a speedy successful recovery.
Oh just want to add that this process us very much highs and lows you get through one day feel better do too much and feel rubbish the next. This can lead to low mood in the first week ir two and if you have a setback like the recovery taking longer than expected can be very depressing.
It does get better though are you getting out of the house at all? This us important fir low mood even if u take a taxi to yr fav coffee shop fir sn hr and straight back. Put yr feet up there and let the staff wait on you that helps a lot. X
Sorry to hear this Lauren, I must admit for the first two weeks my husband and 2 kids managed between them as I'd stocked
the freezer and fridge well and bought all the rolls they'd need so
they could make their lunch for work, then fresh foods started to
dwindle and they were scouting around on their way home from work grabing bits to make a meal so I decided to make use of
internet supermarket shopping and had it delivered. I'm 3 weeks post op and although my lot did the meals for the first 2 weeks
they seemed to forget the washing, ironing and cleaning so I still
had to manage all those chores, had my OP on 10th October and
the following Saturday spent 4 hours doing the ironing! I Will
definatly keep doing the food shop online until I'm fully
recovered. It never occurred to them just how often I have to
buy staples like bread and milk. Sometimes they just don't think.
Oh Lauren so sorry to hear the way things are, but you will get through! Teenagers and older children can be very selfish without actually meaning to be,they are just to into everything else about them (I am a mum of two adult children one still at home)promises to help but never does .Well I don't know about you but if there is no help there is nothing else! Partner is for better or worse so is his duty and he should help. I don't want to sound harsh and certainly not preaching but I don't know what else to say other than you need to look after you wright now and everybody and everything else can look after them selves and you for the time being .geting somebody to come and tidy main ares if you can would help but if not well I would just close the door and leave it .After all you and your recovery is your priority !
Best wishes Lilian
You have my full empathy and support! I am 9 weeks out after 6+ weeks of non-weight-bearing on crutches. First two weeks were a wash-out of staying in bed with foot elevated. I had tried to pre-prepare as much as possible but of course, food didn't last too long. Hubby was fantastic and and teen was great first week but novelty wore off... Whenever I heard a comment/complaint, I said, "I know... it's SO hard to be a MOM, isn't it?". Was my mantra for awhile until I believe it sunk in :-)
I have actually relaxed a bit about housework - it's not perfect by any means, but it's not worth losing sleep over. Even if I had been able to scrub every corner, within a week it would need it again!
Take heart - it gets better exponentially from here on out. I was pleasantly surprised at how fast and far I've come in the last two weeks.
Sending good thoughts your way for a smooth recovery and peaceful home.
Lauren, Don't push yourself to do too much. You won't heal right and will have problems later on. I never used crutches, only a walker and it worked very well. I think I would ask the family to just buy some lunch meats and very simple things, or pick up Subway, or ready made foods, if possible. I understand how you feel, its been 10 years since my surgery and I hated to ask anyone to do anything for me. I did have my friend come over a few days after I got home and vacuum and help me with laundry just one day. Since it was summer I took a sponge bath every morning and felt refreshed. Just try to hang in there and ask the family how they are willing to help, if possible..
Dear Lauren.
Oh dear! You poor thing.
I am a healthy post bunioned retired 64 year old so, I do know what your limits are all about. My difference is that I don't have the teenagers to cope with and like you a very helpful husband.
Just had my 2nd bunion op 1st October and my first foot done last November.
Anyway, to the nitty gritty.
You don't mentione the age(s) of the child(ren).
I guess they are old enough to help around the house though.
They need reminding of all that you do for them and have done in the past - and, I guess almost certainly, things that you have done for them when not asked and have willingly volunteered. Been their taxi, done their laundry, cooked their meals, cleaned up after them and, generally always been there for them in good times as well as bad.
Maybe, if your ( obviously hardworking hubby) attends to yours and his needs for now, and when the kid(s) see that the only meals around are those for yourself and your husband and that the only clean clothes are yours and his they might get the message.
They need ( if they are of the age of being able to do things for you and themselves) a reality check.
Don't be feeling guilty if they have a right go at you just stick it out.
They are not on this earth to be fetched and carried for they have a duty to chip in and do their share.
And, you may like to show them this message from me.
You need to rest that foot and have a successful recovery.
They need telling that whilst a bunion is, in the general scheme of things surgically, not a life threatening procedure, the recovery time is very long and needs care. My consultant has pointed out to me very graphically that compared to hip and knee replacement surgery, bunion surgery takes a much, much longer time from which to recover.
The kids need to know this and not to be thinking that mum is sitting around with her feet up for a laugh.
Do they actually want you to recover?
Grrrr!
If I was in your position I wouldn't have be giving them a piece of my mind. I suspect you have already done this given that you say that there have been aguments.
Your husband sounds to be a lovely hardworking guy who no doubt is trying to balance a full time job and keep the home functioning.
He sounds like a saint!
The kids need a massive wake-up call.
Hope you don't object to my direct manner.I won't be offended if you tell me to mind my own business!!!
My kids are 35 and 31 and have been very supportive AND helped my husband too.
Good Luck!
Gillian
I totally understand what you ar saying. My other half has just relented to paying a cleaner as I cannot stand the mess! He is fab at cooking and shopping hut the rest of the stuff........ I hVe tried to have a conversation about me working full time and doing everything apart from cooking and trying to get him to understand how hard I find it! I also have an underactive thyroid too which amplifies my case!! If you have a cleaner while you are off that may take the heat off? X