Hi Sonrisa_mia
Thanks for joining this thread. These kinds of forums have helped me in my journey, simply by hearing others’ reports of what they are experiencing, so I don’t get lost in awful health anxiety while dealing with my body telling me “you are seriously ill” over and over…
I went cold turkey and "stuck it out’ for about 5 weeks. It was deeply horrendous. At that stage I reached out on a site called “surviving antidepressant.com” and was told, by a very experienced woman who runs that site, Altostrata, something like “you could decide to “tough it out” but you may feel like you do now, for many months”. I knew I could not possibly go on like I was then, and took the option of (reluctantly) reinstating the Ami at a very low dose. Although I wanted rid of this poison, it did feel like it was the kindest thing to do for myself at that point in time. She did say that 5 weeks was a bit long to have been off it, for reinstatement, but it could still be tried, they usually recommend when one has been off it for 3 weeks or less. She recommended the reinstatement should be a very low dose to start with. I started on about 1mg.
After a while, the totally wipe-out symptoms did abate some, at least in intensity. I was able to actually work, and have some kind of life, which was previously impossible for me, during the dreadful cold turkey weeks.
If you want to know more detail about all this, and the symptoms etc, then feel free to message me, rather than me going on and on here…
So, the reinstatement did help, yes. in that I was less destroyed, however I have now gone through nearly 2 years of withdrawal symptoms, in and up and down fashion. As mentioned, I went back on the Ami at around 1mg - I was taking 10mg a night for about 8 years, sometimes 20mg on occasion - as directed by a nonchalant, very under-educated GP, who had no clue about Ami. I have since found out that most GPs have no idea about the reality of Ami withdrawal. They peddle this BS like “there are no withdrawal symptoms from 10mg of Ami” etc etc. Utter crap.
So, in short, I have had similar experiences yes - like i was totally losing it, for example, and dozens of different withdrawal symptoms etc. Reinstatment was the right thing to do, for me, I believe, but I think I should have slowly upped the dose, a few months in, instead of sticking with the super low dose, and holding out with the notion that “surely this will pass in time, if I can just stick it out…” . I think this is why I have had withdrawal for so long. I just didn’t wanna put any more of the horrible Ami inside me…
I won’t go into a super long post here. If you wish to chat more then feel free to message me. I wish you clarity and courage for whatever you decide to do.
Kev 