I've been suffering with Anxiety ever since I was a child (I brushed it off when I was a child as I thought they were just thoughts and feelings) and was diagnosed with depression when I was 18 or 19 after I had used some Deep Heat gel and it made me hold my breath (don't ask) and after that I was depressed, anxious and couldn't keep anything down food wise.
Anyway I was put on anti depressants when the doctors finally discovered what my problem was (it was going on for days/weeks until they did something) and although I had symptoms still and sometimes felt drousy, etc I eventually felt a lot better and got on with my life (I'm 34 now).
Last year my Dog became I'll (she had diabetes and glaucoma anyway) and we had her put to sleep (it was the best thing for her in the end), but before she fell ill my parents ordered new furniture and carpets (one of the carpets was to replace the one the dog had ruined by staining it and the new one was stain free and darker), anyway I had this strange feeling like what if the dog wasn't here when they arrive and it came true, so ever since I've been thinking the worst all the time even though they haven't come true.
I was told by a therapist (I think) that I'm still grieving and deep down I blame myself for what happened to her, like I cursed it to happen or something.
We got a puppy just over a month after and sometimes I feel guilty that I'm letting Jess down (my previous dog) and that I think she thinks I don't care about her or love anymore and that we've moved on.
I still miss and love her but sometimes I feel guilty and deep down I blame myself for what happened and I think it's made my anxiety come back with a vengeance.
I've changed medication twice after the doctor said the previous one I was on for a long time wasn't having an affect anymore and the last one I was on made me feel really rough (drowsy, really tired, etc) and I'm now on Fluoxetine which I've been on since the 12th of June and it started to work but it gave me suicidal thoughts (which have thankfully settled), I've been told to stay on them for another month and to see how it goes.
I've also been referred to a therapist, anyway back to my question lol, can bereavement cause my anxiety to relapse?
Any trauma can bring anxiety and depression on again, anxiety can flare up again for no specific reason. Really feel for you. When my dog died I went to pieces but afterwards was worse as I started negative thoughts that I didn't look after my dog as well as I should due to my anxiety, not walking it enough, etc. I have 2 rescue dogs now and when anxiety kicks in I worry about them dying, or being ill, it's so frustrating( all anxiety) I have to tell myself my dogs have a good home and a good life ( they were abused so they are so happy now. Talk to your doc if you have more concerns about meds, sounds like they are working now, hope they help, always a worry when you have side affects to start with. Wish could help more, just reasuring to talk , my anxiety is manageable after years of therapy, self help and family and medical support but aware it is always there, can have bad patches but it always passes so it's frustrating but I manage to cope. Good to talk though to get our thoughts out of our racing heads❤️
Definately, any trauma can cause an anxiety relapse. Glad your going to try therapy, hope your meds start working properly, it's scary when you start them and have side effects but hopefully they will start working properly, give it a while and maybe discuss with doc if still not happy. Feel for you, my dog died and I was the same , my mind would go round and round worrying, I was in pieces , I have 2 rescue dogs now and worry about them constantly ( but then my anxiety makes me worry about everything) I have had anxiety for years so manage better now but always aware of it. Good to get plenty of support, therapy, self help and talk here, to people who can perhaps reasure you❤️
Hi had to send youv2 similar messages as one was waiting to be moderated(? )And didn't know if you would get first one😳❤️
Thanks, I blame myself for what happened to her deep down and just like you I think to myself "I could've done things differently or a lot better." I mean she was a family pet (I live at home with my parents) and we regret not having her neutered but they didn't have the money to do it and then when she had diabetes they had to pay for insulin and vet bills so they couldn't afford it then either.
She was a rescue dog as well (our previous dog was as well but it was my sisters to begin with, who gave us him after she had twins) and for some reason it didn't hit me as hard when we had him put down to what I have with Jess.
For one it's because of the stupid feeling I had after my parents ordered the new furniture and carpets and the fact it came true (so I think everything negative will come true no matter what it is or how stupid it is) and that she was only eight compared to Sparky who was thirteen and a half.
I mean I love our new dog but sometimes I feel guilty like we're being judged for moving on (although plenty of people do after losing a pet) and I think Jess is judging us and is disappointed and that we don't love her anymore because we moved on.
Sometimes I look at Milly (our new dog) and think "what are you doing here, it should still be Jess," even when we go on holiday, but we don't regret having her and we still talk about Jess and we also have her ashes.
It's just the way I am, born a constant worrier, always thinking negative.
That's fine, thanks for the replies.
It's ok, totally get it. Non animal lovers can't understand why we would get so upset over a dog. I'm exactly the same. Think you felt so bad about that particular dog bacause of circumstances you spoke about. I tell myself my old dog would love it that another dog will have a good home like he did, I have to think positive when my negative stuff rears its ugly head. It is all in our heads anxiety, so frustrating, love your new dog, think of good times with your old one and make time to work on yourself, worrying about a pet shows you are a caring person , try and think positive,try not to dwell on past, work on your future, talk, when you need break from negative thoughts.❤️
I just need to get over that stupid feeling I had and know it wasn't my fault and that it was just an unforseen circumstance, plus she had a womb infection the previous season and with her being diabetic and having glaucoma it didn't help her situation, besides we're not fully sure what was wrong with her as she wouldn't eat and hardly drank but wasn't losing weight and my dad said he saw some black stuff come out of her so he thinks it could've been stomach cancer or something.
I do wish she had an autopsy just so we know what the causes were but my mum said she didn't want that and they couldn't afford to do that and keep her ashes.
I do still miss her (always will, just like Sparky) and I don't take it out on Milly or push her away or anything as it's not her fault (we decided to have another dog after her after all).
We've learned our lesson with Milly and we had her neutered when she was 6 months old and we're over protective and I could say I over love her lol.
Anyway thanks for replying to me as its helped immensely.
Just to reasure you. It's normal to compare your new dog to your old one but you shouldnt feel guilty. My hubby has admitted he will never have a dog he cares about as much as the one we lost. I also feel guilty as I pamper one dog more than the other and I worry I have a favourite and feel rotten. ( know other people reading this will think we're mad but I don't care, my dogs have been my pals when I've felt lonely and anxious. We care for our dogs as best we can, take comfort that your dogs have a good life, also like I said before try to be positive and work on your anxiety and negative thinking you're obviously a good person who worries to much and the anxiety makes us think irrationally always thinking what if, or could I handle things better, be a better person, it's exhausting, hope this helps, bit of a ramble😊❤️