Out of no where I started feeling out of it, detached from reality, short term memory loss, when I walk or do something it’s like I never did. I don’t recognize my voice I don’t even feel like I know what I am doing. I am really dizzy and very emotional I feel like I’m present but not all there I feel like I’ve dug so deep in a hole that I’ll never get back to normal like I was. This isint the first time this has happened but this is by far the worst. I don’t feel like anything is real like I’m in a dream I have a lot of confusion, unwanted thoughts, delirium, and really tired and I’ve had panic attacks because I feel it won’t ever go away. I lost my sense of self and I’m not aware of my surroundings. My family says I’m acting fine but I don’t feel fine. I was pretty stressed out pretty bad before all this happened and it is the time of the month. I just feel like I’m dumbfounded and delurious. My vision is blurry and hearing is off and ringing and buzzing I’m scared that everything will be black and I’ll just be living and not knowing. If that makes any sense. I think my anxiety is really getting the best of me my mind just races and I’m having bad dreams and I have no one to really cuddle at night when it gets bad. I’m fearful it’s ruining my life. I feel like I’m going insane and crazy and loosing it and that I’m psychotic. I feel everything I do is in a haze. I’m trying to go to school and work and when I try to get excited about I feel like it’s not real that I’m stuck in la la land and it’s affecting everything. Can someone please help me all I’ve done is cry and I feel crazy my heart is racing. What is this? Will I go back to normal? It’s been almost a month. I’m so sad what do I do. I was fine before all this happened, am I crazy or just overwhelmed
Hi kelcie I know how you feel because I am going through exactly the same as you, I could of wrote this myself. It's called depersonalization and derealization and it's a symptom of anxiety /stress. Your mind is protecting your from all the constant worry and anxiety, so your mind is taking a break and this perceives a sense of unreality. You need to find ways to relax and give your brain a break from all the anxiety, I know it's hard but you have to just get on with everyday living and try not to let it bother you and you will soon find the depersonalisation fading. I know it's really scary, after 12 years of it, it still scares me everyday (mine is from childhood trauma and I kept my depersonalisation to myself for 12 years until I seeked for help in September and my pyschartrist said it's because of my horrific childhood so I need to go to therapy ). Are you on any medication? You have to find the core of depersonalization and then fix it ( like anxiety ). Any questions I'm glad to answer them xx
I have been dealing with it on and off for three years and I’ve never seemed help because I usually feel okay and I ignore it that’s when I am in my normal state of mind and sometimes or some days it comes back but this time it’s ten fold. It is frightening. But your comment really calmed me and I feel a bit of relief knowing I’m not the only one. I’m not in any medication. Do you happen to be? And if so does it help? Thank you
My depersonalisation comes from anxiety I normally can live with it but the past few months have been pure hell, I was on citalopram for 7 years (didn't help much!) And it stopped working in the summer so I was experiencing severe depersonalisation and it was so scary! I was crying all the time and panicking, I didn't recognise my husband (but I knew he was my husband ) I didn't know if I was dreaming or not which sent me into more panic, I was like an alien who's has just landed on planet earth, I felt so disconnected from my body and it freaked me out, doing the washing up was a nightmare looking at my hands and they didn't seem like mine...it has got a lot better i started on a new antidepressant sertraline, I'm still waiting for it to kick in (takes up to 8 weeks to work, been on them 4 weeks) but I do notice my perception changing for a few moments now and then so fingers crossed! It's horrible not feeling like you are not here, it's scary and lonely that know one will know what you are going through. Don't drink alcohol because the next day is a million times worse, also I've just started eating healthy salmon and loads of fruit and veg and nuts everyday and a lot of water. It's hard to ignore it when you are depersonalised, it's like if a man was going round with you tapping on your head all day you couldn't ignore it! Anyways I have done years of research on this horrible disorder, you just got to live your life as normal, try meditation and eat healthy I try not to let it make you panic just laugh at it! I'm doing a lot better, I get frustrated with having it and I don't give it any power by panicking over it...if you stay anxious over it you give it more power and which makes more anxiety so it's a vicious circle; you need to cut the circle. Oh and try getting some exercise in too! You can private message me if you get overwhelmed by it if you like, I'll help you get through it x
I have felt the detachment from reality many times in the past, it is a scary feeling, but just that, a feeling. It is anxiety, overreaction of nerves. I used to explain it and try to find answers long before there was the internet. Medication and talking to an expert therapist whom you trust can help, can help you discover what is triggering these feelings: circumstances, past emotional trauma, learned behavior, etc. I have had panic attacks before, they are scary - feeling like I am going to die, go crazy, feelings that I have to get out now. One lasted all night driving back from Colorado with a group of men in the car. I couldn't get out and had to endure it. It is a fear that your heart is going to give out, etc. It is not physical, but involves psychosomatic reactions to emotional overload. Bad dreams are typical for people with anxiety, I have them all the time, they seem unreal. I think it is the mind trying to interpret what is going on psychologically. You mentioned going to school and working, and lasting a month now. Is your anxiety new or has it been enduring for some time now? Your family (depending on who that is) may not understand. I often explained it as all of my feelings from the past and present attack at one and the same time. Write out what your thoughts are, what events you are obsessed over, past and present. Thoughts about events or feelings that keep coming back are red flags that something is wrong, either something in your life, or your thoughts/feelings and inability to deal with those thoughts/feelings. Dizziness is also a symptom of anxiety, I have felt it often. Take deep breaths, slow down and look around you and orientate yourself to what is real in your environment as opposed to what you are feeling. Losing control is another way my former mother-in-law used to explain it. Yes, mother-in-law can be anxious too. It is usually over-reactions to events in life. Hang in there - medication can help as well, as prescribed by a doctor.