I'm under constant stress and anxiety both at home and work.
Work not so much as home. I've learns to more or less manage it at work.
Home is a different story. After work I would love to come, lay down for 30 minutes in silence or watch a comedy sitcom to laugh a little.
I live with two unstable adults. They're load, obnoxious, self absorbed and total slobs not to mention lazy.
I hate to label people but two are totally unreasonable.
My home is a 24 home. It never shuts down and need 7-8 hours of sleep. Which is impossible with someone coming into the bedroom at all hours of the night flipping on the light and talking to me as if it were 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry to ramble but I'm really tee'd off tonight.
I know rest is very important but was wanting some feedback on stress and anxiety making symptoms worse.
Thanks
Yes it does. Not sure who these people are but do you have to live with them? I would get a lock on my door to start with. It must be very nerve wracking to not have undisturbed sleep. Get some help. Your illness will only worsen in such an environment.
Hi Tony
I have RA and I am also a clinical psychologist. I would definitely say that stress and anxiety would increase your RA symptoms. Poor sleep also would not help any physical health condition.
I'm not sure of your home situation - is it a group home? Would it be possible to talk to the staff who manage the home about your needs? Or would it be possible for you to put a lock on your door to prevent your unwanted visitors in the night? Are you able to think about activities/exercise you enjoy and try to incorporate them into your life, as this would help you to alleviate stress and improve your overall wellbeing. I know it can be hard fitting things in to an already busy week but it would be worth it.
Good luck.
Thank you sherry and sue
They're my wife and daughter.
I left home for 6 weeks but came back 2 weeks ago after being promised change.
It went well for a few days and then back to the same old bs.
Wife is bipolar, I'm sure you can imagine what it's like living with that sue. Daughter has some of the same symptoms and is a heavy wine drinker on top of that.
I am moving to the guest room this weekend and putting a lock on the door.
I much appreciate yall's input and realize this is probably not the place to vent but I had to. Friends and family I'm sure, are tired of hearing about my personal life and RA pain.
I'll also try to avoid the both of them as much as possible as it's very rarely a pleasure to be around either of them.
I'm not a grumpy old man (51) and get along well at work, in public and with other family and friends.
Thanks again.
hi Tony
you sound as though you are in shared accommodation or board and lodging. either way no one has the right coming into your bedroom uninvited. get a lock put on and tell the offenders you need to sleep. no more Mr nice guy. tell them!your own common sense must tell you you need unbroken sleep. proper sleep is one of nature's best healers. no sleep, more stress, more stress, more painful the RA. the more painful the RA the LESS sleep. and so on and so on.
do yourself a favour. tell the guys bother someone else. all the best. take care. ivan.
oops. sorry tony. ive well and truly put my size 11 into that one. my apologies. serves me right. hope everything works ok for you. how quickly we jump the gun. me of all folk making that mistake. hope we can both see funny side of it. take care. all the best. ivan.
Hi Tony
That is so tough. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who ranted and raved all night and barged into bedrooms venting her anger. I was so relieved when she went off with a fellow drinker. It has left its effects with me though for sure.
You do have to be selfish and try and get somewhere else to live. The promises made by them to change are flimsy and futile. Its you that has to make changes. I know its hard and don't know if its a do-able option but I would say get away from it. You must protect yourself now as you are more vulnerable healthwise. Try and do it.
X
Yes Tony stress is not good I've had a load stress what with one thing or another mostly brought on by other people and would definitely say it causes many physical problems and now I generally consider myself a misanthrope, as Satre famously said "hell is other people".
I quickly came to the conclusion that you didn't read my 2nd remark Ivan,lol!
Hate to hear you had to go through that sue. My father raised my brother and me from my age of 4. He was also an alcoholic but he was always a happy go lucky drunk except for the times he would be the obnoxious crying drunk.
I can relate to the hateful mean and nasty drunk too. When I'd visit my mother I got the pleasure of also visiting a wife beating, property destroying and totally crazy stepfather.
It still bothers my younger brother and he's a combination of the two of them. You never know which one you're going to get with him. He's not a wife beater but just kind of nasty like you're mother.
I learned to put it all behind (being raised in that environment) in my early 20's and left out on my own. Although I do have trust issues which I don't consider a bad thing.
My mother didn't need alcohol, she was just naturally "crazy". Hope that doesn't offend anyone.
On to happier thoughts. It's Saturday!!! I enjoy yard work and that's what I'm going to do as soon as the neighbor's wake up. Play with with the dog's awhile and fix a few things around the house.
These 2 are definitely close to living in hell.
I agree, society has gone to heck. It's me me me world and people just don't respect or care for others anymore.
It chaps my hide when a kid doesn't hold a door for me and the general disrespect they have for their elders.
There are still good people out there and those are the people I try to surround myself with.
My kid's are ingrates. I don't know where they get it. From their mother I suppose.
I'm polite and courteous to everyone no matter age, race and so on...
But when I come across a nasty sob, they get a nasty sob.
I can understand your reasoning.
I am definitely a misanthrope as are most philosophers. And yes Hell is other people. We should start a club. But we would probably hate each other:-(
I've enjoyed the mornings conversation. I already knew the answer to the opening post, just needed verification.
Not focusing on the pain has been nice and I feel good today other than some minor pains.
I'm going to hell to buy fuel for the lawn equipment. Then I'll return to the hell that I live with. Avoiding it as much as possible.
I'm not sure that humanity is hell. If y'all were smelling my older dogs gas, you might agree. Geez! He ran me out of the room.
I can appreciate your sense of humor sherry (same name as the beast of Westchester-wife and street I live on near Dallas Texas USA)
Have a good day everyone.
Yes I am always polite, I reckon manners elevates a person, you hope if you're alright with people they will be alright with you but sadly this seems not the case nowadays, life could be easy but it's generally made a struggle by peoples greed and self-obsession, they harp on about respect but actually don't know the meaning of the word
I have generally found misanthropes are very nice people :-)
Annoying and intrusive family is why I moved to Alaska. Best thing I could have done for the family. My illness improved, (I'd had RA for 7 years by then). Moved back home when my dad died cuz my mom didn't know how to take care of herself. Her abusive behavior insued and I had to learn to deal with the anger it provoked in me. It was the right thing to move back but it was not fun for several years. I found her easier to get along with when she was ill. But that's family for ya. Pick your friends but you're stuck usually with family. Mental illness gallops through my family so I know all about that extra dimension which adds alot of color to life, mostly black. Sure wish there was a cure for it. Thankful eternally to God I was not stricken with what afflicts half of my family. Growing up like that, you tend to learn unique survival skills, like discerning by the way the car door slammed out in the driveway, as dad arrived home from a job he hated, that it was walking on eggshells time. My brothers got the worst of it because they didn't seem capable of learning those cues. Finding safe havens was immensely important and I learned to pray young that I would be allowed to grow up to be a normal adult, which has happened, except for this illness. Best of wishes for you in taking the right moves to bring sanity to your life.
Hi Tony.
you seem to have some great suggestions to your difficulties here and I can see you already acting to try to make things a bit more manageable for yourself so good for you. For a bit of ' me time' is there somewhere you love to go just to sit and be you? Somewhere that makes you feel relaxed and that gives you time to find space etc. For me, it's the beach. I'm lucky as I live near one but I find I feel very different there, just people watching, or reading a book with my dogs. Hope things get better for you very soon.
I think you are right but I haven't met any misanthropes yet so don't know. I saw a quote somewhere I like. "Some people cause happiness wherever they go.....some whenever they go". I usually meet the second lot!
Thanks Paula, sounds like a good idea. Bought this house 3 years ago and unfortunately haven't haven't had time to find "my secret place" but I've got some idea's now that you've mentioned it.
I used to take the dogs to this vacant 100+ acre area to let them run off leash and explore. It required a lot of walking, which I enjoyed but am unable to do now and one of the dogs has hip displacia and I have to help him into the vehicle (120pound dog)
There is a park within a mile of me and a lake 3 miles away.
I'm going to find a nice tree or picnic table on top of a hill with a good breeze blowing off the lake.
I'm going drive down there within the hour.
Great suggestion. Thanks
Sounds like pooch and you have some common ground Tony, albeit ideally, not what you both would have wished for! I hope you find your special place and I'm so pleased you have a great companion to share it with. I find there is nothing or no one like dogs to help us when we are feeling down. They are always there for us, no questions and no stress. Wishing you both well. Paula.
That lake has several places to be alone. I prefer to lay on ground, under a shade tree wtith hand's under head and just think. The park is also nice with a long trail. I can switch off. One day lake next day park . Both were packed due to the holiday tomorrow. I'm an early riser so that won't be problem in the future
I'll start stretching and maybe join the Y. I like to swim in pools. No lakes or oceans for me. I do love to fish and eat what I catch. May get back into that.
Thank you Paula, all you nerd is a suggestion and the wheel start tuning. Thank you!