Can't handle it, think depression is destroying my health

Mental health
1

Heya,

I've never posted anything about this, or told anyone other than one person about my issues, so I apologise in advance if this is just something that gets posted all the time, or is something that shouldn't be posted here. 

I've suffered from, what I assume to be, depression, for the past 4 years or so. I'm 18 years old, and from the age of 13 - 16 I was with a girl who ruined my life. This caused me both anxiety and sadness during my secondary school years. My parents buy and do up houses and sell them, then move on, so as soon as I finished secondary - and broke up with my girlfriend at the time due to her personality, such as threatening suicide after due to me simply speaking to my female friends - we moved house to a new city. -- I think this girl caused a lot of issues, as I never felt happy and constantly felt stressed due to her immature threats. 

I chose to go to a college in a different town, about a 30 minute bus ride from my home, so I didn't get to meet anyone from the place I live. I essentially left all of my friends behind from my secondary school years, and had very limited ability to see them again. This had led me to be unbelivably lonely.

As soon as college finished, the friends I made pretty much abandoned me despite my best efforts to remain friends with them. I've also had no luck in trying to get a new girl in my life, for the past three years, and it has affected my confidence. I dont think I'm attractive at all. 

I've had over three jobs in the city I live in since I moved here, but the friends I make never seem to stick. I don't have any real friends at all. I'm going to university in a years time, in a new city - London-  but I don't feel I can make it that long. 

I've been drinking a lot since not long after moving here, and it only gets worse. My parents joke that I'm becoming an alcoholic, but they don't actually know how much I drink; they just see me buy the odd bottle of booze here and there. I'm so lost, and when I finally confide in an old friend, they forget about me too and leave me to it. I don't know what to do, but I can't sleep properly anymore and just feel so sad all the time. I need help.

I'm sorry again if this isn't an appropriate post. Thanks for any help in advance. 

2

Im sorry to here that mate if I was you I would go see your doctor and get some help your only young so I wouldn't worry to much about having a new woman in your life that could happen when you least expect it to making good friends doesn't happen straight away it takes time so dont worry about that either start looking forward to uni your going to a fantastic city to learn

As for your drinking well im probably not the best one to advise when I was your age I was drinking every night going to work and drinking again but my friends were doing the same we were young didn't have a care in the world but I am 34 now single parent so I dont drink half as much as I used to once maybe twice a week sometimes not even that if you do go see your doctor make sure you mention it the more honest you are the better they can help please take care of yourself

3

cities can be lonely places.  Is your drinking becoming a problem do you think.  If so alcoholics anonymous can help you with coping with that one.  Thanks for contacting the forum you will get a lot of support here.

Richard

4

Hi Sam, I had my Grandson to live with me for three years before he went to University. He couldn't live with him mother as they argued all the time.

He was very depresses and struggled through until he went to Uni. At Uni he met lots of people who were all new to the same thing, He made some amazing friends who he is still close to now, He is 25 and got married last year and three of his Uni friends made the most amazing speech about him, how he was in such a mess when they all met and what a lovely guy he turned out to be.

He met a lovely girl and married her and is so happy and now has a good relationship with his mother.

Look forward Sam to your Uni years, it's a new start, you will make new friends and have lots of good times, it will be strange at first but do as Richard did, throw yourself into everything. You will be fine! Good luck.

5

Hi Sam..So sorry you are going through such a difficult time.With regards to your drinking.....Perhaps check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in your area?These can work wonders and you will get support.....You definitely won't feel quite so isolated....Please consider giving them a try!Your GP's surgery should have a local contact or if your go on line,you will find a number you can call,or a list of meetings.All the best to you .

6

Hi Sam I am sorry you are in a bad place at the moment.  I agree with the others - you have your whole life in front of you and while that can be scarey it is also very exciting.  It does take time to make new friends but you will find ones who will remain friends.  But don't forget you can have lots of different types of friends, casual ones, drinking ones, work friends etc.  Close friends are hard to find but when you do meet someone (and remember it takes lots of time) hang on to them.  

As for your first relationship,  she hasn't 'ruined your life'.  It is part of the learning process and you will probably have a few relationships before you find the right girl. You have lots of time so just try and concentate on your future for now and try and enjoy your life as much as possible.  Some girl in the future will count herself very lucky to love you and will find you attractive - I promise.  x

7

Hey everyone, thank you all so much for the advice. I havent had anyone help me out with this ever as no one ever seems to want to, so I figured this would be my last shot at getting it out in the open and I'm quite stunned that you're all willing to help a complete stranger, it's cheered me up. 

I was really drunk when I made this post and also hadn't felt so down about it all ever, hence why I looked for a forum. 

My drinking issue is pretty bad, I drink most days and I do have a part time job, actually as a bar tender, and I see the raging alcoholics every day and I really don't want to be like them.

My main issue is just being so lonely really. I have tried putting myself into social situations such as a youth centre, but the city I live in is pretty bad, so the majority of the people there weren't particuarly plesent. I guess I'll just have to try and pull through until university.

Thanks again guys smile 

8

No problem mate at least you realise that you may have a problem with drink haven't you made any friends at work not to confide in but to maybe socialise a bit and get you out in your city feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk I will listen take care mate

9

I did make some friends, and we go out sometimes to go drinking, but I never really feel involved as its usually just a few of them and all of their friends that I dont know. Normally I'm good with meeting new people and making new friends, but I just cant with those guys so it's pretty much me just sitting on my own for the night :p 

Thanks for the offer too Jason, it means a lot smile 

10

No probs mate you cant expect people to come to you to be friends sometimes they do but sometimes you have to put yourself out there yes its a risk but it can also be rewarding to if you find the right people to be friends with