Can't stop crying

Mental health
1

I know I've posted quite a lot recently but, everything is just so hard at the moment. 

The only thought that calms me is the thought that I could end it all. Every problem would wash away and it can't be any worse than the misery that is life. 

I'm sorry to keep posting and going on. 

I really hope you are all doing well. 

Fee

2

Don't apologise. I know how you feel with the crying, it's all I ever seem to do. But your life is worth so much hun. I beat depression and I can feel it crawling it's way back, it takes a lot to fight it but you can, and you will. Find something in each day to be thankful for and let that bring positivity into your life.

You CAN beat it honey.

3

Dear Fee..I feel for you, i cried for entire week once when I was 20. i was  miserable about myslef and life. I somehow went through it by myself, alone, without anyone to share by state with. i did not know what i was going through...only years later i found it was my first depression attack. You must have been going through a lot of difficulties...be gentle to yourself, ask for help. what you are going through is a sign, follow it and find out the reason with a good therapist. I had three critical depression attacks, all caused by events from my past, I am on a good way now, and looking forward to happier future. DO not believe your negative thoughts and inform yourself about depression, get help, and take care of yourself!

4

Hi Fee please carry on posting as long as it is helping you.   That's what we are here for after all.   Don't apologise for being in a bad place right now,  sometimes we need,  at other times we can give.  It's just your turn to need that's all.  We are all here for you my love.

Y

You are right it can't be any worse but only because it can't be anything coz ending your life is permanent.   Youwould also be stopping any chance of improving your life or enjoying if not happiness then peace and maybe contentment.   You will be missing out on life which is very precious and a gift even though sometimes it feels more like a curse.

I don't have any answers I'm afraid but just want you to know you are not alone.  Take care sweetheart.  bev xx 

 

5

Dear fee from PJ here in hospital my life crashed 3,yrd ago the anxiety the depression and finally the hopelessness of my current situation after a nasty and vindictive court repossession trial has finally had me evicted from my home last weds

My loving best mate and carer just walked away when the ballots arrived I collapsed and played on the grass crying on my own for 3hrd

I am out of hospital tomorrow as I am crpnocally and dangerously I'll

I too took more than 80pills last week the pressure is unbeatable without a home not knowing where all my belongings are whole on hospital

The pain of loosing the one greind o could depend on

I'm saying all this to explain like others on here will yell u we can't just. Opt yo tale our lives

We need to fight the fight and do the journey and this forum is by fat the best starting point to finding that freedom we all want and to have peace n calm restored to our broken lived

With hugs

From the Royal Free Hospital I send I love and peace as many do for me right now

Pk

6

Fee every think be ok just keep taking your tablets

7

Never feel the need to apologise Fee.  Please, please post as often as you feel you need to, that is what the forum is for.

I think a lot of us think like you, or have thought like you, death is always there as an option, but it is so final.  There is no coming back from that choice.  But noone can take that choice away from you....just keep it as a last resort.

Yes, every problem would wash away, so would every hope of a happier life, so would any chance of doing some good in the world, feeling the pleasure of helping someone else or doing something amazing to make your mark on this horrible world. 

The choice is yours love, but it is such an important choice that you should not make it until you are totally sure it is the right thing to do.

Bless you, I bet you are a really lovely person who has so much to give, who could give so much beauty to this ugly world.  Don't waste it.....we need lovely, caring people like you to make the world a better place.

Keep posting, I will look out for you.

Pat.

8

Beautifully spoken Patricia

Hugs

Pj

9

Ozzie,

I'm so sorry for your'e situation. Surely you cant be just chucked out of hospital if you're so ill. You need to be in safe environment. Where are you going to go? Have you got anywhere to go?

10

Fee, please dont end it all.  I know you are strong because we talked about the rape thing, and you came through that.  You also said you had some job interviews to go to. You should go - its something to aim for, to plan for, to get dressed up smartly for and show that you matter.   I know job interviews can be dispiriting, but they can be a positive experience if you can take control of the situation.   If you read a bit about something called nuero-linguistic programming, its a very simple but powerful technique to get people to come round more to your'e way of thinking and to control social situations.

Try looking it up, and using it when you go for an interview.  I think its amazing how we can influence other people if we know the right techniques.  We cant all be Derren Brown, but we can certainly influence our own future positively.

Please look after yourself,

Carole.

 

11

Hi Fee

I've just posted because I am in a similar boat at the minute. I just can't stop crying and I feel I can't go out in public because I've had a few near meltdowns the last couple of days whilst I was out of the house.

It really is horrible and I have also thought about ending it because I'm feeling really hopeless at the minute. The only thing to think is that I've pulled through this before so I can again. And so can you.

Hugs to you

Abs xx

12

Hi Carole sadly otd not. A hotel and not up to the hospital to rehomr Mr

I know given a week or note I will be back in here

Having always been a decent thoughtful and active in helping the vulnerable mieghbour I never could imagine being left without. A home to walk onto

It msu be hostels for me for a whole sharing a 10,bedded roi am confused frightened and with little energy to ask any more organizations to help me out

I have faced too many let downs and sent from one org to another

The UKis not. A kind place unless I have money and. Power to manage your own affairs

Hugs

I keel keeping on

Pk

13

Awesome and really worthwhile response Carole your Awesome

Hugs pj

14

Fee:  I urge you to not give up on yourself, and never apologize for your depression.  Anxiety and depression are illnesses, just like diabetes or any other disease.  When you are depressed, it generally means that your seratonin levels are off balance.  There are hundreds of different kinds of seratonin uplifters out there, if you just choose the right doctor, he/she will keep trying until they hit on the right ones together.  When I was 32 yrs. old, I was married with two little girls.  I had a complete melt down and thought about jumping out in front of a Mac truck and end it all.  Now, I'm 67 years old, and I have two lovely grandsons.  Taking your own life is like a permanent ending to a temporary problem...Please message me if you need to chat...I still suffer off and on with depression, but the key is to remember in the back of your brain that it will eventually clear up and you can be whole again..God bless, sweetie...keep the faith...

15

So sorry you have to go to a hostel. I know some of them are not too bad, but some are really not nice. It partly depends where you are, but you cant choose who you are going to live with, which is the real problem.

I have a frined who has just lost his job and is in his late fifties. I'm pretty worried about him, but at least he has his own home. No the IK isnt a kind place - dont know why so many people want to come here??!!!

Lots of love, hope things are OK.

Carole.

 

16

Hi Ozzie I was in a hostel many years ago and it was ok.  I did get my own very tiny room.  At least you will have a roof over your head and housing benefit to pay for it.    just be grateful you are not living in USA where so many have to live on the streets! 

You have reached rock bottom in your life and there is only one way to go now and that is up.   Concentrate on getting your life in some sort of order and moving on.   Bev x

17

That is an awful situation to be in Ozzie, I am so sorry to hear that

I hope you get on as well as you can at the hostel, it must be a very scary time. 

xx

18

Thank you all for your lovely messages, I hoped to wake up this morning feeling slightly better but no such luck, if anything things feel worse. 

I'm seeing my GP next week so talking to her should give me an outlet and some help, I don't know what the outcome will be after that or if I will feel the same. 

I've only felt depressed for the last year, I can't even begin to imagine how anyone copes with it for years on end - I feel like enough is enough already when in reality I'm only early on. 

19

You are very right and before this I always used to think to myself that it was surely better to be alive and fighting with the small chance of things getting better than ending it all. 

I suppose it feels slightly more pessimistic in this present mindset in that I just don't really care about getting better at the moment, so why put the inevitible off? 

I won't be doing anything dangerous right now, I will keep trying for now. 

Thank you for your lovely message <3 xxx

20

Really sorry to hear you are experiencing the same feeling I woke up today and my eyes were swollen from crying so much. It's horrible. 

If you have pulled through this before you certainly can pull through again. 

Good luck, I hope you start to feel better soon - take care of yourself! 

Fee xx