I went for a fairly long period (about 2 months) with no self harming but, now I can't stop, my arm is dripping with blood, I know I shouldn't do it, the scars make me feel so ashamed and my arm is such a mess already but I can't stop!!!
Feel so low!
Why can't things get better
Nothing will ever change no matter how hard I try everything is just far too much, I'll never be in a place where I can lead a normal life or feel comfortable in my own skin and it's all my fault.
*hugs*
You're okay
You're not alone
I'm a regular selfharmer, I cut multiple times a day but when I first tried to stop I found out that it is possible... 2 months is good, I'm really proud, bit know this. Every time you stop for a while and relapse, the next time you stop you'll stop for longer. I promise you that it does get better and easier to stop
If you need medical attention please call an ambulance, if not, keep your cuts clean and throw away your blade.
I'm right here if you need me
You're loved by all of us here
Please take care of yourself Xx
I was quite proud, I went from the same as you - multiple times a day, to just once, to nothing.
Recently everything has resurfaced and become so overwhelming and the only way I know how to deal with it (remotely) is by cutting. My scars were slightly fading, now my arm is covered in cuts again, which is so horrible to look at. None of my cuts are so deep that I'd need a dr though which is good. Though I don't think I can throw my blade away
thank you for taking the time to read my post and write back, I really appreciate it. Self harm is so hard to stop, it's like an alchoholic, once you've had one drink you need another - once I cut, I need to do it again.
Thank you again for your support xx
I'm glad your cuts aren't too deep, but please if you don't throw away your blade, clean it well if you plan on using it again (I hope you don't have to though)
You're very right, self harm becomes an addiction and its very hard to give up but it IS possible
If you'd like to discuss the causes of this, I'm happy to listen and give advice, although your doctor or a local therapist will probably be a good idea too
Really hope you're feeling better soon Xx
Yeah I usually do clean it with antiseptic, otherwise the cuts get pretty nasty afterwards.
I suppose I need to find some way to distract myself when the urge comes a long, it's just that sometimes a distraction/means of relief are not possible - I am attending counselling but, haven't really addressed my self harm which I probably should.
Have to admit, when I first started I thought it would be very easy to stop, I'm sure you can relate to how hard that actually is though! xx
Hi Fee, sorry to hear how you're feeling. Just wanted to say that things can change. I went for 15 years feeling as though my heart was an open wound, but then had some wonderful therapy which helped to change my perspective. I still suffer from time to time, but I no longer feel as though I am constantly overflowing with pain. Just keep banging away at the therapy. Also I can't stress enough, there are good counsellors and bad ones, and different approaches work for different people. Get as much as you can, and one day you'll find the combination of psychologist and approach that makes something click in your head, and turns off that tap of misery. There is hope.
I still remember the first time ali cut... It was just a few scratches along my wrist, and they were gone by the end of the week. It's been 4 years since then, and now every cut I do scars (most fade after a year or so, but some are permanent)
If you try and stop, its best to do it with support.
Have you ever heard of 'the butterfly project'? You get people you love and care about to draw butterflys on your wrist/hand, if you cut you kill all the butterflys... I found it worked well for me because it really shows you how many people want you to stop :3
*draws butterfly on your wrist*
Keep it there until it fades, no washing it off! If you cut, the beautiful butterfly will die ;_;
Now you have a reason to not cut for a while, get some more people to draw butterflys on your wrist, you'll feel so much better.
Don't worry about relapsing, its hard to just stop, but if you can start going long periods of time, you'll stop feeling compelled to cut :3
I really hope this helps for you Xx
I was the same, a lot of my first cuts disappeared so quickly, strange looking back at it.
I do most of the cutting on my upper arm so that nobody can see and I can hide it easily.
Aw, that is a sweet project - remembering the people that are there for you is a good way to dim the negative feelings and urges for sure.
Yeah, you are right - it's a lot about patience and knowing that through it all there will be inevitible downfalls.
What's the longest period you went without cutting if you don't mind me asking?
When I was with my ex, I went a good 9 months without a single cut. She really helped me
But now, its an achievement to go 2 days xD
I'm glad that things managed to get better for you Claudia
It's nice to hear from people who have been through the wars and come out with a positive perspective and hope for the rest. I do like my counsellor, she is very good but, for me counselling is a lot like self harm - it provides some temporary relief but, you just start feeling low again so soon after. But, I definitely will be carrying on with the therapy, I'm glad I do it. I really hope that, like you I will eventually have more good days than bad, it's just finding the patience to make it till then!
Wow, 9 months is a really long time, well done!!
It's a shame that you're doing it frequently again, though it is so hard to stop so, I can understand!