My depression and anxiety has really taken over my life to the point where I can't even remember what it was like before it all started. Every day I wake up dreading the day. It's been going on for 3 months now with slightly ok times in between. I just feel completely stuck and helpless it's stopping me from living each day I feel as though I'm just trying survive I just can't live like this any more 
sorry for such a negative post I'm just loosing the will to fight
Hi Jen
I've been in a similar place myself with the anxiety and I dreaded each and every anxiety attack. I'm assumimg you have been and seen your GP? If not I suggest you go asap, one of the things that helped me the most was group therapy as oppossed to 121 sessions, why? Because I met other people who were experienceing the very same thing and not only were we able to support each other but knowing that there are other people out there makes you feel that you are not alone in this. Please if you haven't already go to your GP, perhaps you could take someone you can confide in and whom you trust with you? Take care.
Never give up first try to remember what started it 3 months ago then just let it go I know its easier said than done but its in the past and can no longer hurt you in anyway find something to focus on each new day and look forward to doing it change the times you do it each day so every day now becomes a day to focus on so you wont be thinking negatively you will be thinking positively until that task is done you are the only one to be able to do this you have the ability you just need to see it im going through depression myself and im trying so hard not to feel down some days are better than others some days I just brake down and cry and I dont want to feel this way but I know im the one who has to change it like you I have the power to do it I just have to find tbe right way to do it and that what takes time so don't think you're alone in feeling that way but I do know how you feel is unique to you and only you so deep breath take in a new day and do something positive because that will replace the negative feelings you're having it will make you feel good about yourself and hopefully in time you can look back and say why was I ever like that because that is what im aiming for
please feel free to message me on here if I have helped if I haven't then I hope someone does because I know how you feel and so does so many on here pleae take care of yourself
Hi Jen. It is going to be difficult to do this but the way you climb out of that dark pit is to ask yourself what it is that is causing your depression. You cannot fight an invisible enemy and you are not fighting this invisible depression thing. If it is something like hating your partner or job then difficult though it is you must change those things. And that is unhappiness, not depression. We all have choices in life and the more right choices we make and the more effort we put into things the more things turn out right for us.
Yesterday I spoke to two people with "depression" . One was saving up so that she could move into a nicer bigger place in a nicer area. She was working hard and saving and going without luxuries so that she could achieve this. She was working hard at friendships and relationships. She was doing everything she could to make her life as perfect as it could be. Her "depression" was almost gone. The other one was always moaning and asking people to listen and sympathise but she could not be bothered to do anything constructive such as working at existing relationships, forging new ones, getting a job, making sure she could pay her bills etc. Guess what. In five years time that one will still be the same.
Make a list of all the positives in your life and focus on them.
Make a list of all the things you want to change and can change and focus on them.
Hi Carmel,
Believe me I have been trying and I won't stop the last two days I feel like I've been completely at breaking point and sometimes like this morning I feel like I'm at absolute crisis point. The thing is I'm finding it very hard to pinpoint exactly what caused it, I was very stressed with my job but I quit that. I am in a very loving and happy relationship but when I'm like this not even that can make me feel better, I'm not working at the moment because I Have not been well enough to, but at the same time I have nothing to do no focus other than on how I'm feeling. I want to go back to my parents house but they say I need to stay here in a flat that I hate which makes it worse. I'm on 20mg of citilopram and I'm starting group therepy soon
Yes I believe you Jen but your way of doing things does not work. So you need a different way. Make that list.
Ask yourself WHY you were in a job you didnt like? Maybe you need to train and study to do something you do like? Leaning on parents is easy but not the answer, you cannot present yourself to others as if they are carers and unqualified therapists. That only seems to help short term, llong term it is a disaster for everyone.
You say you have nothing to do but that is not true. You can start by making these llists. You ca\n bake a cake. Clean and spring clean your home. Something positive and constructive. You will also be making yourself more worthy of your partner. No matter how nice a partner is the last thing they want is another half who has a long face and sits around doing nothing all day. Contribute to the relationship so that it has more chance of lasting and being happy and dont turn your partner into a carer. And when he comes home dont go on about how bad you feel. Ask him about how he feels and his day. You need cognitive behavioural therapy. You can research that as your not working. There are ways you can do this online.Even doing a jigsaw puzzle is better than just feeling sorry about it. Research all about anxiety and depression seeing as you are very time rich.
I know you feel bad but I know people who feel as bad as you and also have to take care of young children or run a business. Not easy.
It was a job I thought I was going to like but I struggled with and became out of my deapth and was stressing so much it became very unenjoyable.
You are absolutey right I know I am definetly not going about this in the right way and everyday spent panicking and worrying about how I feel makes it worse hense why I have worked myself up into quite a state.
My boyfriend and I don't like together although we have talked a lot about moving in together my parents live in Wales and I live in London and I have to rely on him a lot at the moment which puts strain on the relationship, the group therapy I am signed up for is cbt based but I've had to wait an awful long time for it
Hi Jen,
I know how your feeling as I have had bouts of depression from 18 and now 27 and always suffered from anxiety. I am pretty confident and the first time I had it bad was when i first started teaching and ended up leaving my job as i got that bad i didnt get out of bed with uncontrollable crying. I kept blaming myself and was so scared as I didnt know what was wrong with me. It felt like something was taking over me and didnt know why and didnt know how to cope with it.
I would recommend to see a doctor and see what they recommend I have had medication that helped me in the past, I also had councelling which was ok but didnt really work for me. I have recently been feeling like yourself, I felt i was just getting up for the pay check, I was so nervous around people and had to pretend to be happy by smiling like a cheshire cat all the time 
. People would approach me at work and my heart would go crazy and so have decided to leave my job as i thought I would feel better as i was pretty stressed which didnt help. Im now back on 10mg citalopram which i know has worked for me in the past but i am now going to stay on it for longer and see how i feel.
All i want to say is if your doctor suggests seeing someone or taking medication dont get down about it as there is a lot of people these days on medication or seeing a councellor and just accept that you might need a helping hand.
I hope this helps and if you need to talk were here for you.
Depression is a nightmare but they say it can be controlled,you must seek help first then try and join up with certain discussion groups, hypnotherapy may also help also Reki class can also help people.
You also have to believe in yourself,start some new hobbies that involved meeting other people,all is not lost.
I suffer with chronic nightmare's every night for over yrs now and i am back to another GP thats going to look into my nightmare,mine comes from the subconscious mind and i am trying to find the switch i lost a business and had work cover injuries etc.
You will get there,best wishes Alexander.
Hi
I know how you feel, I have had severe depression for nearly 10 years and in that time i've felt every level of low and done just about everything including drinking and drug use to make it go away. In the end you have to find something in your life to cling onto,which sounds easier that it is, but it may well be you already have something or someone and your depression doesn't let you realise. My mum is very sick so I love for her and hope to fix myself in the meantime. The fact that you're willing to talk about it, even to strangers, shows a level of understanding and progression. Sometimes it really is all too much and that's when you have to hand this over to someone else, no matter how hard it may be, your GP or a friend or a family member and let them help you make all the right choices. I didn't tell anyone until this year and it's a lot harder the longer you leave it, and it makes it harder for them to help you. Is there something in particular that started this or is it a culmination of things? Hope this helps, you are not alone and you can win it is nowhere near too late. I hope to hear from you x Amber
Thankyou so much for all your replys, I decided to change my attitude today so after my very very bad morning I decided I was going to fight it, I did not have one more crying break down for the rest of the day I still felt very bad though but I pushed through it, I'm normally okish in the evening but because I've kept the anxiety pent up all day I have woken up with terrible anxiety my arms and legs are tingling and my chest is very tight. I do not think my medication (20mg citolopram is helping my anxiety) I now know that my anxiety had caused the depression and not the other way round... I really appreciate this forum as I am very new to all this and you guys help me I understand it more and know I am not alone
Jen x
P.s. I had a strong coffee and two diet cokes today so... Caffeine and anxiety do not mix well!
Sorry to hear about your situation, I wish your mum well, the thing I'm clinging on to at the moment is just hope because even if you can't find anything else hope still exists and you are worthy of enjoying the rest if your life x
Hi mark,
I was also working in a teaching job not in schools but freelance in nurseries doing drama. I can't even imagine how stressful bring a school teacher would be! Stress does awful things to you! Thanks for your comment
Lots of medications cause depression and/or anxiety.
Alcohol is a quick fix but causes depression. It depletes your magnesium and gives you hangover headaches too then. When people say they are depressed is this true or are they unhappy? Very different. Most of the cases presented to me by so called depressed people are really unhappy people, they are not ill. Talking about it does not prove the person wants to get better or understandsd it, a lot of them talk about it but that is all they do, just talk and talk and talk and seek sympathy, and then they get addicted to thinking they are the depressed person seeking sympathy instead of the unhappy person finding ways to improve their life. Why would a family member need to make your decisions for you? Being depressed or unhappy should not stop you from being able to think rationally and logically and intelligently.
You need to get things into proportion. I know someone who was struggling badly with proper depression, too ill to get up, too ill to get washed and dressed, feeling very sick and physically weak. And yet they were also running a very busy business with twelve staff to sort out and control. Advertising, sales, etc. They could not afford to take on anyone to do this for them and obviously nobody else would hve done it as well as the owner who usually does it. They had to somehow force themselves to continue to do it despite feeling so terrible. Because otherwise the whole thing would have closed down with a lot of expense and no income. A teacher has far less to worry about. They can get sick leave, they do not have such a lot of responsibility or expense.
Sometimes Jen all you can do is survive, just grit your teeth and get on with it. I did that many a time at work just getting through the day best I could and when you get home think - I did it and managed to do my job without making a complete tit of myself . There is a certain satisfaction in that and pride as well.
Maybe the best thing is not to fight so hard just go with the flow and concentrate on whats what and taking care of business. Then reward yourself for doing so well - a nice hot bath, out with friends, read a book etc. I think stoicism is the secret of life - just enduring what you can't change but do change what you can. Does this make any sense? xx
You make a lot of sense, but I can see you are a lot more sensible, down to earth, realististic, mature and proactive than a lot of people. YOu would have made a great therapist. But someone with real depression (not just someone sayign they are depressed becauuse they are bored or unhappy) is often too physically ill with depression to go to work or go out with friends.
I know the feeling, like you're sitting on the moon and the worlds turning without you. You have to force yourself to get out of the house. Try jogging, and if you haven't done it before don't expect to have great stamina, but persevere. Re-engage. Look up mindfulness, it's a really useful tool. Meditation also, focus on your breathing, count each breath. Try doing this for 5 minutes to begin with, extend the amount of time when you feel able to. Baths are a good way of relaxing/relieving muscular tension. Literally you just have to fight the lack of motivation. Force yourself, you only live once. If the problem persists consult your doctor, deppression can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, or medical problems like a problem with your thyroid gland-in which case blood tests would reveal that issue. A good way of coping is consulting professionals if you feel you have noone to talk to you. Open up to someone you trust like a close family member. You're not alone and remember that, there are many people going through similar situations that you can talk to. Sorry if I've flooded you a bit, I realise this response is a bit wordy.