I have suffered with depression since I was a teenager, I've tried so many antidepressants, don't get me wrong I turned 50 the otherday so clearly they have helped. I found this site 2days ago and with reading some of the posts on here I've hardly slept at all thinking of all the pain I was witnessing while reading each individuals posts, so with having no sleep my mind as usual started running amok but for the first time I think it was constructive not destructive thoughts. I don't have a laptop and only have my phone so lastnight I began a quest, I realised the power of the written word, the impact some of these posts have had on me is really hard to explaine but I thought, maybe if I had a diary, keep it close to my chest and for my eyes only and just write what comes into my mind, maybe try poetry, maybe not. All I,m saying is the power of the written word has started wars, gained peace. We only have to look across the pond to our friends in America to see examples? In 1776 the declaration of independents was signed which healed an entire continent, or 1883 and the emancipation proclamation freeing the slaves, all I,m trying to say is if we can use our words to such a degree that we can actually change the face of humanity, maybe there's a chance that we can use our words to save ourselves. I know the words I have read from your posts have already had an impact on me and they have brought people together that have many of the same symptoms and who would never of known they wernt suffering these anxieties alone but there are many suffering the same from many countries around the world. You have already been an inspiration to me and I thank you all. I myself will try the written word, who knows I may find in myself a great poet or philosopher I don't know, what I do know for sure is while I was writing this post, my anxietys had deminished so yes, there is power in the written word.
David after reading your post I thought what a deep man.if only I could put into words what you have??..as for the written word we only have to look back in time!!!the written word I am thinking about is the bible!!! I have study'd the bible for 6 years and can not believe what the bible fortells. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.look deep into these words to find the hidden truth!
Hi Roberta, thank you for your post, unfortunately for me I never really had much schooling growing up, (troubled times indeed) I have hardly slept with worry about a young kid on this forum who signed off and has yet to sign back on, hence my post earlier? I was thinking if he was by chance reading it he may put pen to paper so to speak because like reading a good book, writing can help you escape from the reality of the moment and bring one peace if only for a while. I have at times read from the good book but my ignorance clouds my ability to decypher what it is I am reading. I am fortunate in the fact that I do have the ability to read and write and even just replying to you kind post has helped me escape my demons if even for these brief few moments and I thank you.
I'm sure if the young kid your talking about reads the post and realises you are worried about him he will get in touch!please try not to worry too much.at the end of the day we can only help the people who want to be helped. The bible is a most complicated book to read and under stand. Believe me for many many years from being a child to adulthood. I use to try to understand it but never managed it. It is now in my more shall we say mature days I am just BEGINING to understand. Unfortunately were I was studying the bible for 6years . The area I have moved from and thought I had made good friends have not even been in touch! So my faith is trying to cope with that.i feel it is very sad to become involved with so called believers that they can just drop you because you have not taken the final step. I am sure this sounds confuse ing to you. But I don't want to say to much!!!,the area I live in now has a group of the same faith but I am struggling with what has happened so I don't no if I want to take that step!!! however I am so very much missing my studies. I have always believed in god and he has always been my anchor!! I am at the moment trying to find a church to go to in my new area. Well I bet all that info has taken your mind off things for a little! And now you will have an OLD kid to worry about??ah!ah! Iam sure god will help us find our way!!if you allow me I will remember you in my prayers???xxx
Hi roberta, I have just re-read my post and apart from my misspelling independence I can understand why you think I am a deep man? But on re-reading your reply I see you are a very deep woman? To study the bible for 6 years takes dedication and commend you. I have turned to the bible many times myself but as I said I get lost in the labrynth of the words, well except for the revelations of John. I agree with you entirely that the bible holds so many secrets and foretells so much, again an example of the written word, wrote over 2000 years ago and still holds so much for so many people. I cangratulate you and may start to read it again myself, maybe I will find some peace between the pages and find some meening to my own existence. Thanks again.
How wonderfull David to think my words have made you start to think about picking up and reading the bible!!! You have no idea how happy this makes me!!!the best words I always remember the parable when the man calls out and says GOD WHY HAVE YOU DESERTED ME?????and GOD. Replys I. HAVE not ?I was carrying you!! life at times is full of pain and anguish !!!we are let down by people we love. Whom we think love us! For peace try looking up Isaiah 32-18 there are lots more re peace but this one comes first for me!!!what do you think???xx
Wow, Roberta you are a deep girl indeed, however what you were saying was in no way confusing, myself on the other hand may of confused you and others with the unthiughtful title of my post? It wasn't meant believe me but maybe an higher power made me write my title that way so it would come to your attention? (The Lord works in Mysterious ways) I don't know much about religion "shame on me" but I do know about faith. Moving home is a challenge unto itself, I know of what I speak as I moved home/area not so long ago myself and like you most of my so called friends treated me shall we say (out of sight out of mind) I,m here to ask you not to let this setback challenge your faith and instead let it make you stronger in your convictions, start your studies again, find a new church, continue in your dedications and as for your friends , forgive them as they know not what they do? There is a strengh in you what's a quality many people can only dream about. I,m proud to of read your posts and I,m sure the path you now take will be the right one, the Lord himself/herself has no doubt set a challenge for you and it is up to you to rise above and beyond it declaring nothing shall shake your faith.
I,m ashamed to say it but I don't have a bible at hand, as I said I am not a religious person which in no way implies that I don't believe in GOD. I am a simple man from humble surrounds and often struggle from my day to day existence. But I will strive to improve myself and maybe it's time to take another look at the good book, it can't hurt and yet it could be so beneficial. Thank you for directing me to another path which I may walk, who knows, I might even go have a word with Alan "local priest" in the morning, I often say hi when pass the church but he will probably faint if he sees cross the threshold and actually enter the church? Haha. Thanka for your prayers and know that you will from now on be in mine.
Can the written word save us????those were your words!straight away I thought of my bible!!!!yes you were ment to write those words and god does work in mysterious ways!!!!thank you for your words of wisdom!!!why had I not looked up what you have said in my bible!!!?????nothing will shake my faith and I will never lose it!!!i had just fell on the wayside!!! I should and will work on all those things you have said thank you for being so thoughtful!!! I will start my studies again. I will keep on searching!!!i will try extra hard to settle in my new area! Forgive them father for they no not what they do!!!!i had forgotten those very special words!!!going by your comforting words I think you no quite a lot about your bible. Thanks RobertaRoberta
Your kind words are very special. And ALAN at your local church sounds like a special person!!!for all I no your local church might be your local pub!!!ah!ah!????. Serious lets see if Alan faints ??lets see what if any words of wisdom he has for you!!!i once new a very special man called cecilio. RIP he was a professor at Madrid uni. I met him on my travels. We became good friends over the years. I visited him in Spain on his death bed. He didn't believe in god. But a higher power! after he had passed away. I received a special letter from him which was very touching.in it he said my mono plain is calling .i have my wings and have flown. Made me think!!!,well you are certainly bringing out my depth ness take care and thank you for your special words RobertaRoberta
Yes I ment church? I might stop off at pub on the way there like? Haha. I met Alan "priest" I think? Ma y years ago, I may not know religion but I do know respect. Anyway there was an unusual amount of cars parked outside his church and someone had broken into one and stole suitcases "of all things" from a vw van, so not liking things like that and knowing many of the kids in the area I went on a mission, it took a couple of hours but I found out who took them and where they were and returned them to him. He was so thankful and asked me to meet the lady whose possessions they were that was stolen, turns out the lady had been locked up in Russia for ex amount of years the only reason being because of her faith/religion whatever and she was speaking there that night after being released, that's why all the traffic. She was quite old and she put her hands on me and that is why these words come to my mind often, she said, the Lord works in .mysterious ways my son. In her suitcases was lots of currency but more importantly to her, the letters she had received while in prison and the bible she had to see her through her ordeal. And that my dear Roberta is how I git to meet Alan? Haha, who's going deep now? Haha. My phone bill is going to be a fortune? Haha
What you have discovered is the power of mind over matter. It is possible to cope with, to manage and even to dispel many of our problems (but not such things as broken bones!) by concentrating the mind on what you really want to do. I have some personal experience of doing this following complicated side effects after radiation therapy. It may be that some medication will help but I believe the most important matter is to be positive. Positive thought and will power can do marvels. So while the written word may help it is not simply the reading but what you do after you have read it.
Hi jaguar, yes I understand what you are saying, in hindsight I should of used a different title phrase, as the title I used can so easily be misinterpreted, I only ment that by writing, even by reading, one can distract themselves from the reality of the moment for a while. Myself I find that although it may only be a slight distraction, that moments peace can sometimes be a blessing. It is good to be able to remain positive but sometimes my will power eludes me and I can find myself sinking further and further into despair, when that happens, a distraction af any kind that relieves that feeling no matter how short of a time is a blessing indeed. I,m glad you have your own methods for coping and I,m glad you can deal with your problems and can only hope I find that strength myself oneday, thank you for your reply and contribution to thus forum
Good morning, David, (from Canada)
You obviously have a talent for writing. Not only is reading your post like slicing through butter' very smooth and seamless but you have such insight into the workings of the mind and an uncommon sensitivity. You could write (and puclish?) about what you know.
About your 'demons', after years of treatment/medication, are you not better? I do not suffer from any mental illness but I assumed that with treatment, one can get better. I did assume that mental illness such as depression was due to a chemical imbalance but have read more recently that this may be a 'hoax' perpetrated by Big Pharma to get doctors to prescribe more drugs to patients.
Would you consider taking magnesium glycinate (re: my post to Claire) to correct a magnesium imbalance which apparently we all suffer from. You can read more about it by googling Dr. Sirkus, a renowned expert on magnesium and the results of deficiency on the brain.
I urge you to follow your passions whatever they may be or become. And writing and expressing yourself is certainly a gift that you have. There are even writing courses, probably at local libraries.
Like you, we are waiting for Kirin to write. I hate to even suggest this but I hope this has not been a hoax.
Hi robin, thank you so much for your kind and informative reply. In response I can only write about my own experiences/my demons and my own insights into such things re antidepressants etc. I find it really difficult writing especially on a forum such as this one as some of the people reading could be susceptible or influenced by what people write which in itself is a kind of pressure as all should take responsibility for what they put out there for paople to read.some writings could help people but there is a flipside to that coin. Therefore although I have a lot to say, this forum may not be the best place to say them. What I will say to your quest about magnesium or antidepressants, my own circumstances may be rare and I say this only pertaining to myself. My childhood was far from the best, apart from the abuse I suffered I was hardly educated and sometimes, often on a weekly basis, I either lost a friend, family member or just happened to be walking past as a child or student decided to cross the road at the wrong time. I witnessed some awful sights but growing up I just assumed it was a part of life. Then it was found that my sister had a brain tumour and I nursed her until my heart broke and I couldn't cope anymore, therefore not being there for her eventual passing. I was racked with guilt and even now my heart aches over leaving her to others to tend. After that I devoted all my spare time to helping others, my elderly neighbours, the hungry people on the street, I left myself hungry to provide for others, I was woken all hours of the morning by an elderly person who needed my help. In short I took on to much trying to find forgiveness but instead had a breakdown. I knew my demons and where they came from but was diagnosed of being depressed and put on tablets, mirtrazipine first fluoxitine and now veneloflaxin. At first they didn't help as I don't think I was depressed, I just had issues. Eventually I became depressed, I started to educate myself, not having computer or finances to buy one I was in library most days. I blamed myself for all the deaths I witnessed which manifested itself into my dreams to the degree I did not want to sleep. Sorry for going on, I've never opened up like this before so thank you for helping reach within and bring these feelings to the surface. In regards to the kid Kiran, I just hope he is well. Thanks again for your reply, appreciated.
Oh my goodness... You have been through a lot. I am sorry to hear about your dear sister. You must know that you did everything you could. Taking on her care pushed you past the breaking point. Have you ever seen a therapist or been in group therapy. Unburdening yourself CAN help. And like Kirin, you deserve to live a full and rewarding life...especially since you have given of yourself to help others. I am sure you will always do this because you are that kind of caring person. You just don't want to be brought down by the problems of others. My feeling is that we all have to take responsibility for our own health...especially when we are suffering the most. We need to recognize when the burden is too heavy and we need to get help.
You are only 50 years old. (I am 15 years your senior and enjoying life to the fullest!) You may have 40 more years to live and enjoy life. Make the best of it that you can.
Google 'meetup',.,,and then your city name. You will find many groups such as amateur writers, hikers, pug fanciers!, knitting, meditation etc....there is something for every taste and interest. It usually costs nothing and you get out with like minded people and broaden your horizons...and hopefully clear your mind of worries.
Hi again robin, I have only just realised I never even answered the questions to asked or that the ones I did I did not answer sufficiently. After my years of treatment, yes, I guess in ways I,m better than I once was, an I cured? Not by a long shot. I've had counselling and CBT and although this is a good thing, "in my case" helped very little if at all, reason being it can take 30-40 minutes to touch on a single subject that would probably be of benefit to discuss but by that time the session is over and then it's a wk or more til nxt session. One might say write the things down that you would like to discuss but in many cases it is not that easy? eg I couldn't walk in with a file and say, hi, I want to talk about the death of my sister? One has to build up into discussing such things. I believe forums like this which I have only been apart of the past two days provide an outlet for people like myself and the past fewdays have helped me more than all the therapy or medication I've had in the past. Thank you again. Yours sincerely. David.
Hi again, David,
What if you were to attend bereavement group therapy? I understand it is very beneficial...and you are with people who have been through a similar situation.
I am teaching an English class to immigrants in 2 minutes and I see students arriving.
Laaater!
Robin
Quite right it's no good reading the word and not acting on it! And positive thought can and does work!!
Robin how special your words to David! And yes David talent for writing is extra special.