I have become a home body and miss being able to get out of the house and enjoy hanging out with friends, example (girls night out or girl talk.) Since I am no longer that person and have so many limits I never know how I will feel from one minute to the next. I get invited to do things some times but not able to most of the time. I dont expect people to say it's ok every time. My husband is a blessing ,my best friend and loving to me.
I just miss having female friendship. Im not able to be there when they may need me to. Does any body feel the same?
Hi Blue16
I totally feel the same. I have literally no friends. If it wasn't for my daughter and family I would have no one.
I'm not sure what the answer is but like you I've had potential friends invite me to things but I almost always cancel. People get fed up asking. Some are understanding and others not so understading.
Depression can be lonely.
Take care
L x
Thank you lisa95164 for your response, I agree with you.
Wish I could help. I am having the same problem. I really have no friends. Also have no family close by. My one friend is always doing things with her family. I sometimes think she uses that excuse not to go out with me. I do have a husband but he doesn’t like to do anything but watch tv. I am so bored. I get anxious and feel lost around groups of people. I always feel left out even at work. If someone knows how to get around that I would love to know.
Thank you deb87510, I feel the same, lost around people. Dont want to talk to people I dont know because I fumble over my words, forget names or forget what I was talking about.
Blue, It's so hard and it really does take time to back back into the swing of things. I sometimes think that there should be some kind of "reintegration therapy" for those of us that have gone through a rough patch with our mental health. Please be reassured that we ALL find it easier to stay in! I'm a lot better now and still find excuses.
The only way to test out your social capabilities though, is to actually do it. I find that the fear is always worse than the event. If you can bring yourself to go out, the congratulations you can give yourself afterwards is SO worth it! Overcome those nerves and come home feeling amazing, yes?! A massive help is to confide in someone that you might need to just leave. Know that even people not suffering with depression are also nervous about going out. Once you've vocalised your possible need to go early, you'll find that the pressure is off, honestly.
Our amazing female friends are all going through their own stuff, by getting together with them you'll be able to help, and feel more balanced about your own issues, I promise. Just be really honest with yourself - can you manage an hour? If so, that's OK! Start small, but start xxx
Are there any clubs or places to go with your husband where you could meet new people together.
We always do things together, we are one item that do everything together.
One diversion you may try is dancing, I used to Ballroom Dance, Latin, Modern, Old time and loved it. Look for things you can both do you will meet couples.
Whatever you decide, go to the Library or whatever they will have lists of Organisations you could join. Give it a try
Good Luck
BOB
Thank you borderriever, these are good ideas. We will look in to.☺
Meetup.com is worth looking at. There are often social groups in addition to specific activity groups and as you don't know anyone yet, if you do back out, you won't feel as bad as if backing out of an event with a few friends, and there can be quite a number in a meet up session, walking groups for example. So, you could use them as a sort of training ground. I signed up for one once and didn't attend the first one for ages... but I wasn't too keen on it anyway so I stopped. Same with a local social group only I still attend some of their meet ups only occasionally..
If you feel you can commit to something, you could try voluntary work. Some of it is paperwork or computer work and doesn't need you to be dealing with people all the time as in a shop for example, but just occasional communication regarding the work, so this would also be a gentle introduction to meeting people.
I don't know which country you are in but if it is the UK there are national what are called meet up groups. They go out on a regular basis and you could turn up as and when you are able. Or do you like quizzes? Maybe friends do a regular quiz night and you could go when you can? Or if you are religious I am sure your local church will have meetings and do voluntary work or something. x
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! Doug Larson
Thank you su43630, I see the website.
Even socializing cannot keep you away from feeling lonely because it’s the intimacy that you are lacking. And if you have felt like this for a longer period of time, where loneliness doesn’t seem to leave your hand then you might be <a href="https://getwellforever.com/harmful-effects-of-chronic-loneliness-its-symptoms-and-risks-involved/">suffering from chronic loneliness.</a>
The lack of social connection or bonding can be considered as one of the reasons why loneliness has become debatable. Now more and more families are becoming nuclear and children have to move out of town in search of work.
Hi these are all good suggestions. I am on two boards and get along well with all the members. I have tried to spend time with them outside of the board meetings but have not made friends. I also work with a number of people in a social environment they are all pleasant to me but we have no contact outside of work. Joining things does not seem to help me. I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I often feel on the outside looking in.
Yes, and they told me it was depression with anxiety and put me on medication which made me feel worse, several,mediicaions in fact. They didnt work and i now see none of my friends as i find it too much of. A challenge. Be careful,of what treatment you get and research it well first
Find your favourite hobby, it's a great distraction from depression and a great way to make new friends. When I focus on my hobbies, I don't react to world around me.
Thank you katehippy the "reintegration therapy" would be a good idea. I feel safe when I stay in because I don't have to explain myself or let people know I have to leave. Its hard enough with family.
Angel, just know that everyone is going through their own s**t and if you can give the time, they can give you their story. I know that you'll feel like there's no room for anything else, but honestly, if you can get out and have a "normal" conversation with another person everyday, you CAN conquer this. Family is something totally different ... You can't judge how the majority think by how your family are! My family are very judgemental and think that I'm the only one with a problem... Thank God for your lovely husband xx