So 5 months ago I was employed as line cook in two busy kitchens and a delivery driver for another restaurant Upon starting I had minor anxiety problems and often times kept to myself. Over time I became stressed out and my depression worsened. One busy night I experienced extreme confusion and disorientation.ci went to the bathroom and found my eyes very dilated. Since then over the next 3 months I started to develop paranoia and I had delusional thoughts. This is when I started to make serious changes by seeking talk therapy and medication. I quit all my jobs and got a desk job.
Pretty much instantly my paranoia and dillusions subsided and I was back to normal. ASide from one thing. My emotional health started to diminish very rapidly. This is what still ,and since, has been bothering me. Deep emotions like love and sadness have since left me. To the point where I have to try really hard to create the emotion of love by force just because I miss the feeling. But I can only maintain the emotion for a couple seconds before I feel as if I'm suffocating or drowning. Again, I'm mentally clear and I dont feel depressed or anxious although I have a tight fist clenching feeling in my mid chest that has been developing since I've lost allot of emotions. I'm VERY confused and it feels like torture. If I could cry I would but I can't feel sad. Situations where I'd normally feel love; Im simply left to wonder why my chest is tight and I can't feel. Again I'm rarely nervous/ anxious although I do feel loss of concentration and again the chest tightness. I'm able to laugh because I can feel happy content and fun at times but as soon as the laughing subsides and at this point love usually kicks in I start to feel my heart tighten and I go from laughing to very stern looking and devastated because I can't. It makes me feel like I'm just a dumb smiling baby doll sometimes. ..I know this is allot but can some one please help me!?