My mother who is 91 has dementia and chronic kidney disease. We will not do dialysis on her and she is at the last stage of progressive dementia. How long will my mother live??
Hi Patricia
Sorry to hear of your mothers conditions, they
are a mirror of my own mother
About 3 months ago she was prescribed
medication in an effort to slow down the advanceof the dementia.
This was in the hope of managing the acute renal issues before the dementia takes its enevitable horrible outcome
She had an appointment at the renal dept of hospital in 2 weeks time, where we will know more of the long term prognosis
As for your question, the doctors are best plced to give that sort of diagnosis, but I will keep you informed of the outcome of my mothers hospital visit, where we be asking the same questions as
you
Brian
Thank you. My aunt has power of attorney for health and she said the doctor's say 6 months!! Let me know your mom's prognosis. My mom has a living will and does not want feeding tubes or dialysis.
Patricia, you didn't mention the chronic kidney disease in your earlier post. That's something of a game changer, so I'd adapt my reply to say that your mother isn't likely to go on for much longer. The body can't function properly without working kidneys (or dialysis in the event they're not working). I'd therefore say your mother will probably live only a few months or even weeks now. However, as I said earlier, no one - including doctors - can ever give an accurate prognosis in cases like this. The will to live is amazingly strong in some people.
I think you're completely right not to agree to dialysis. Dementia is a cruel disease, and it wouldn't be right to add to your mother's distress by prolonging her sufferings.
I understand how you're feeling. My mother was 89 when she died of pneumonia related to vascular dementia. Many people said to me during the agonising three months she was in hospital: "Well, she's had a good, long life". While I could see the truth of that, I used to get frustrated by the fact that people couldn't understand my feelings. She was still my mother. I was 62 at the time, but felt just as bereft when she died as a child would have done. Made far worse, incidentally, by the fact that she died alone, as the so-called "policy" of the community hospital where she died didn't allow out-of-hours visiting. The ward sister who called me to inform me at 9 that morning sounded as if she was telling me my dry-cleaning was ready to be picked up.
Just be with your mother as much as you can in this period. It will help her, even if she seems not to be aware that you're there. And it will help you in the grieving period that will inevitably follow.
Thank u so much. My mother is in another state. She has lived with her sister until now. She is in a dementia care facility for her last days. I will go to see her next month. My aunt and I do not speak.