Feeling a bit stuck atm, don't really know what to do and tbh not even sure what I want out of posting this message.
So I'm 28, had anxiety and depression problems since I was at least 7 and probably before. Had a bad time at school, left and due to my issues didn't go to college, didn't go to uni, didn't get a job. I have worked for my dad in a very minor way for the last few years but it really is just charity.
So now I feel that I've dug this hole and I have no idea how to get out. I'm not without ambition, I would like a job, I would like a career, I've even thought about setting up a business and really think I've got some good ideas; but I can't get passed this identity as someone with depression, poor social skills, no social circle, no qualifications and no experiences. When I get these ideas of even mild success I keep thinking of that person and why anyone would want anything to do with him or I ask how could anyone like that succeed?! Not to mention how my past failures (can't think of a single success) are clear evidence of this. I feel like I have no value, I contribute nothing.
Hi mike, of course you're not. there are some fantastic benefits to taking some life decisions at 28 rather than 18. Mike what do you enjoy doing? make a list no matter how random they may seem, and start from there. You'd be surprised at how many random jobs there are out there, it's not all call centre or macdonalds work. I have a friend who checks fishing licences, he loves being outside all weather, another one whose a park ranger, same motivation. There's loads of voluntary work overseas that may appeal to your spirit of adventure, what about amateur dramatics (horrors, anxiety just shot through the roof there but dyslexics make fantastic actors as they have a better than average memory nurtured since a young age to blagg their way through poor reading skills and the whole role playing gives an outlet to their awkward socially shy natural selves. But start with a list of what you know you enjoy, where you may feel comfortable and then think laterally, confidence will then come from there xxxxxx
Thanks for the replies, sorry for taking so long to get around to them. In answer to a couple of PMs I have had, I have had therapy and was on an SSRI for about two years. These did help a lot with general anxiety problems, I used to be unable to even leave the house at one point and medication and therapy really helped me.
Unfortunately they didn't really help with the issues I mentioned in my OP. I think the problem is that I'm a very evidence focused person; I got over my social anxiety problems because I could see that there was evidence that contradicted my fears which allowed me to test them and ultimately build up more evidence that I could be social, go out and generally take part in life. With work or career related things literally ALL the evidence I have says I'd fail; I didn't live up to any expectations of me in school, couldn't even stomach college and therefore uni, I joined the TA but couldn't hack that, I tried a couple of my own projects but they fizzled out and I started a degree with the open university and failed at that. I haven't had any success in my life at all and I don't know where to draw any courage or motivation from without that.
Ben, yes my life is almost identical! Especially the feeling of holding my girlfriend back. Also while she's at work I feel nothing but guilt unless I do literally everything that needs doing in the house which leaves me no time to move myself forward even if I could muster the motivation!