Hi everyone,
I’m just writing this to reassure those of you who are new and unsure or worried about the journey.
I’ve had trouble with Anxiety and depression since I was 16 (I’m now 28). After leaving home and getting my own place with my partner, things started getting real when I realised how much pressure being an adult puts you under. Paying the bills means you can’t let your mental health control you which is what I had allowed it to do.
I had never even considered antidepressants until I was around 21 when things got really bad. At this point leaving the house was pretty much impossible without having a panic attack so I had to have time off work. I went to my GP and was prescribed Citalopram 10mg. I specifically asked for this because after researching and hearing all sorts of horror stories about SSRI’s, Citalopram were the best to ease myself onto as they started at 10mg instead of 20mg.
After collecting my prescription I probably waited a month before taking them out of fear (thanks again to the reviews). To my surprise, it was fine. I was a little bit absent for a few days. I was off work so literally spent this time doing nothing but lying on the sofa watching loose women and whatever daytime rubbish was on TV - lol, Loose women was probably the most difficult bit. I did find myself waking up a bit more during the night even though I was taking these in the morning. What I do now is take them at night and I don’t have any issues. I also don’t feel anything when I wake up in the morning. What you will notice when first taking antidepressants overall is that if you move your head too fast, you’ll feel a funny sensation in your head, I feel as though I’m a little bit dizzy so I just make sure not to move too quickly. This is caused by a change in levels of serotonin.
Eventually after around a week or 2 I was completely fine. I didn’t feel anxious to the point where it controlled me anymore. I was anxious, but it was manageable. I carried on with my life as normal.
After around a year I began to notice anxiety increasing slightly. I began to avoid things which only meant I was again allowing the anxiety to take control. I spoke with my doctor who upped my dose to 20mg. I started this straight away (no cutting tablets in half etc). No side effects whatsoever. Anxiety mostly absent.
I realised that people who leave reviews mostly do so when they have a negative experience. If it goes well, nobody writes about it. That made this whole experience very scary. The most common thing you’ll read about SSRI’s both starting them and coming off of them is how horrible the experience is. Luckily what I read didnt stop me because they’ve saved me from a lot of misery and loneliness. You’ll be ok, this is pretty much a key to the prison cell you’re currently stuck inside and outside of the door is a world of good.
To finish off my story, after 7 years I plucked up the courage to come off my Meds. I did this very slowly and it felt similar to how it felt when first starting this medication. I realised after a few weeks I didn’t feel very happy. I wasn’t too anxious but I had very little positivity. This isn’t who I am, I’m usually a very happy person. So I’ve decided to go back on them. I’m on day 2, feeling a bit lazy and binging movies on disney+ but I’m fine and I’ll be back to my happy self by the end of the week.
Maybe I will need to stay on them forever. If that means I’ll be happy and free of anxiety, then that’s a worthy trade to me.
I wrote this because I want people to know they will be ok. I hope this helps those of you who are unsure. Speak to the people around you whenever you need to. A problem shared is a problem halved! And finally, don’t let your pride get in the way.
Good luck!
Josh 
as I already have this so could this make that worse.