Lizz678
This is actually suzisue but it says now this user name has been taken, then I try to log in as I joined today, but it said my details were invalid. Sorry about that! Im just at a loss now!!! LOL
Aw darlin listen to me. I also held Dad's hand as he died from the cruelty that is cancer. I also nursed him totally until he died. I know the house must seem empty without your Mother in Law. You just give give give. You have given to all these people, and didnt take anything for yourself and now you are lost.
Look at your Grandchildren. Look at them. How lovely are they, little innocent children who don't know the pain and hurt of life, and neither should they. They look up to you
I understand that what you have been through has been shattering, but you know what I have come to realise - I have to learn from it all, be stronger, I really need help tonight, but it's not depression, it's bloody life, and in a way greed!
Liss now u have to help me
I took my very poorly mother, who can hardly walk, eat or drink, out of her care home tonight (I do loads btw) and met a very old school friend that mum knows well, with her family, for a meal. My childhood friend cried in the evening for Mum, for the fact that this is where life takes you - we all die dont we?
But the secret is having a quality of life while we can. Health is the most important thing in our lives, and we take it for granted.
Anyway, I took Mum back to the home about 9.15 - it was peeing it down with rain. We were standing there, ringing the doorbell, for ages and ages - no one came. Mum was shivering. It was like a cemetry it was so quiet in there
Guess what i had to do in the end? The little side window was open, on the catch, and there was a safety catch (like you have for little children) I had to bloody get in through the window, and unlock the door for my mother. As if this wasnt bad enough, I made it through the home, through the secure door (as my mother is very poorly and needs to be locked in as she wanders) to her bedroom. She was freezing. I got her undressed and took off her soaking wet slippers. Got her in to PJs, wrapped her up all cosy, opened her door - low and behold, there was the carer - I went a little mental at him (This is a private care home, costs more than £500 per week) No one had been around, it was particularly deralict tonight, there were old people sitting in the lounge snoozing still. I am so appalled. But where do I go for help? If I do anything, my Mother could suffer. She could have anything done to her but she would never remember or know what had happened. She is very vulnerable.
On the way out of there, I passed a room with a lady I always say hello to, she obviously needs a lot of care, and at 9.30 at night, she was lying asleep on top of her bed, face down, fully clothed, she wasn't even ready for bed at 9.30
There was no one around, and I left there devastated, not just for Mum's care and safety (anyone could have got in there) but for all those poor vulnerable people. We cant do anything about those that we have lost, but we can still help the vulnerable people who need us, and have no one.
I feel so alone tonight, I dont know where to trun to for help. This is just so unacceptable. This is my Mum, and I am absolutely gutted
Lizz - Mum is slowly dying from vascular demensia, it's really really awful, I promise it is, and I am going through and have been through too, what you have. But I am learning from this, getting stronger. I just feel so helpless, and dont know where to go for help
I know this is me talking, not my depression, anyone would feel as I do right now if it was their Mother.
Lizz come on, get out there, live again babe, please. Dont think about dying, think about living. That's what Im doing, and I need someone to help me with what's happened tonight, it cant be right, can it? It's disgusting.
I have lost a brother too, and friends, but Dad was the one death that des