I have always been very strange when it comes to my feelings for people and I question if I would be different if I didn't have anxiety (but it's hard to distinguish whether it's my true feelings or anxiety.) I identify as pansexual so I am attracted to both men and women but gender is irrelevant to whether I am or not.
I went through a strange situation where a guy slept with me and then got back with his girlfriend. The rejection hit me very badly (it was the first time I'd been rejected.) He always said he felt insecure around me like he wasn't good enough for me and I was obsessed with him wanting me back just because he didn't want me. I have always been like that, chasing my insecurities instead of the actual person.
I get attracted to people but then when I am in a relationship with them, I regret doing it. I hardly crave physical things (I'm watching my wording on this in case it doesn't let me post) and I never feel anything that intense as oppose to the other person. I can come across cold and get bored easily. I want to be in love so desperately but it never seems to happen in my 23 years.
I am confused about my feelings all the time and they go all over the place. The guy I'm seeing at the minute, sometimes I look at him and get this feeling of love but that's in occasional flashes. Other people just seem so sure and say "you'll know when it is love" like it's just an obvious thing but it confuses me so much. Other times I'm so cold and almost bored of them. I'm just so up and down all the time and so hot and cold and it makes me feel like a bad person and guilty because I'm like this.
I am just a very intense person and crave too much maybe but then I'm not sure if I've already found that person but then I constantly question myself. I also rely a lot on people to make my anxiety better. Does anyone else relate? Sorry this is all over the place, it is just sometimes hard to put into words??
I feel it. My anxiety really gets in way of me and my feelings towards people. I think I’m pretty attractive but I can’t really see myself if a relationship because in my intensely anxious days I tend to want to isolate myself. I find myself always in casual relationships and one night stands because I need validation etc but always see people in relationships and having a family and think I’ll never be that way. I always wonder what it would be like without anxiety living a more normal or socially acceptable life.
Sophie
You are not alone the way you feel, many of both sexes feel the same way, many look at love as an activity that is expected of them and this can lead to boredom and just going through the paces and working with other peoples expectations. relationships can be very self centred and will never work, the clever part is knowing if the person you have met meets your high standards.
What can happen is one of the partners will love they other like mad while the other would use that person then run to the hills to hide and vica versa.
Generally I found if we find someone who is possibly right for use both will never shut up and go through marriage to honeymoon never shutting up, all the way through their lives. The clever thing about this is do not talk rubbish and know when to shut up
You will know quickly when you meet the right one, the brightness will shine out between you both and the relationship will become natural and you will both pass through the various stages of life together and never notice, you have married and had your first child
Try not to be in any hurry, I learned to dance and I would go three times a week, we became a large, mixed group who were there to dance, we had the odd dates although generally we were all friends and we would look for partners outside our dancing partners, you learn a great deal about people and relationships. So do not be in any real hurry, you will find your number 1, you will know when that happens without a doubt
BOB