I have been dealing with the psychological symptoms of perimenopause for close to a year. I know that some women experience extreme mental health challenges during this time. I have done my absolute best to counteract my symptoms: clean eating, vigorous exercise, deep breathing / meditating, growing a garden, working full time, staying connected to others..., but the struggle remains.
During this time, I have experienced deep depression, accompanied by scary thoughts and images that I can't get out of my mind. The more I try, the more intense they become. I have had intense anxiety with feelings of impending doom. There has been lots of crying and screaming. Sometimes, I feel totally detached from myself, almost as though I am not in my body, or I look in the mirror, and it is as though someone else is looking back at me, if that makes any sense.
I still have some times of feeling like my old self, but they are fleeting, at the present time. I have been the strongest person that I know how to be through all of this, but it is so challenging to keep going. I remember one woman on this forum who queried: how am I to sit still whist on fire? That comment resonated with me so much.
I am under the care of a psychiatrist, who I see regularly on an outpatient basis. I have brought up the idea of ECT with him, but more to get information on it. He indicated that the success rate is in the 90% range. I meet with him again next week, and I am going to discuss whether or not he thinks that I might be a candidate for this treatment. The ECT procedure has been dramatically refined since its inception.
Antidepressants haven't worked, and progesterone made me even more depressed.
ECT is a highly effective treatment, and I just want to be well. I want to have the happy me back who enjoys life, rather than just going through the motions and praying for my self to reemerge.
Lately, though, I have noticed that if my mood does normalize, it seems to do so in the evening.
I would be curious to hear women's thoughts.
Thanks.