I'm due to have my hip replaced in three weeks. The friend (now a former friend) who was going to move in and help has let me down and everybody else I know is either on holiday or working. Is it realistic to expect to cope alone? I am a single mother with two teenage children. I'm 51 and very fit. I was feeling really positive about the surgery but now I'm dreading it and wondering whether I should postpone it. Any advice on what to expect in the beginning and how bad it's likely to be?
Your teenage children will need to help. I had my wife & two daughters. They helped with putting on the surgical stockings, showering, making dinners, cups of tea, passing my crutches when I mislaid them, etc etc.........I would say it's very tough to do thud on your own Sue, I'm currently 6 weeks post op on a THR, but without the help from loved ones, well ?.............
Apart from passing you things, watching you up and down stairs and generally helping you really dont need an awful lot of help...you'll be on 2 crutches so make sure you have everything to hand. I didnt have stockings but just needed help pulling pants up! My partner just got in the way after the first few weeks!!
can you train the kids from now til then? you'll be doing them a service. read hope4cures list of preparation points and discuss with your children maybe....tell them your worries and watch them step up to the plate x
Depends on hospital/surgeon, some send you home with injections, I had stockings and aspirin, if you get the stockings there's no way in the world you can do them on your own, my wife even struggled! 
Hi Sue- help is always good to have. what about your teenage kids? i understand they may be at school or activities some of the time, but youve got to be able to depend on them for help. as you say you are fit, and with a bit of help from your kids (going to store, shopping, pickup prescriptions) I think you should be able to cope. even if they dont have their drivers license, you should be able to find a way. You shouldnt need a live-in assistant.
Good Luck!
Sue, I am 55 and I am 4 1/2 weeks post op. I have been off my crutches for a week now. I came home with one but was walking around the house without anything after 2 weeks. You will need help for the first 10 days and then you will be fine. Remember it is vital to do your physio everyday, no matter how you feel. My elderly parents stayed with me for the first 5 days and then various girlfriends took me food shopping etc. be positive, take rest and you will be fine.....
Thanks, all, for your helpful comments. I really don't want to cancel it. I have my pre-op assessment on Fri so will see what the surgeon has to say. Will start training the kids, too!
Don't despair, you will be OK. Your kids will have to help out. You probably won't want them helping with very personal stuff but they can help with everything else. I found I needed someone to lift my operated leg on to the bed with my first op but the second time I managed fine. Get plenty of food in the freezer. I didn't wear the stockings. Shock horror! As I didn't keep still for long and there is no family history of thrombosis, I ditched them. I couldn't have gotten them on and as my husband is disabled, he couldn't have done it either. As long as you remember to always obey the hip precautions that you will be told about. I did everything with the grabber tool they give you. As a resourceful and amazing woman, you will find ways to cope. Money helps. You could get a cleaner. It's OK people saying teenagers can help but they tend to be a bit self obsessed. Ask them for specific help and don't count on them seeing what needs to be done. Ask on here after the op for advice about any particular challenges.
I came home totally alone, no help came in ever except PT during the day, 3 days actually. I guess I was doing very good considering and I was 72. I have always been a strong, athletic person so have done everything for myself.
I had the anterior approach, could be it's an easier recovery, that's what I hear anyway. Your children will help I hope.
Sue, first of all, how long are you going to be in hospital? I am alone 6l with a l9 year old son with special needs (who can help me out somehwat - heat up a mircowave dinner for me, make and bring me a cup of tea, feed the dog,) so I'm sure too kids can kick in and help you out. I would definately get a walker,a risen toilet seat and reacher.....as long as you have everything on waist level so you don't have to bend you should do good. I was out after 2 days and only saw the physio for l5 mintue sto show me how to get my bad leg off and on the bed and how to get to the washroom and do the stairs, and I am doing very well to tell the truth...I also have a carry all attached to my walker so i can go room to room with the phone, books, cookie!!...I have what I call command centre and that is my couch in the living room - I have a coffee table set up beside me with water, pen, paper, books, laptop, and then I get up every hour to walk my leg, use the washroom, I eat at the kitchen table (my son warms me up a meal and covers it and I have it warm for lunch or you could get the kids to make you a sandwich), I do a few laps around the house and usually watch a little tv, but I find that couch too soft, oh I forgot the wedge pillow is somewhat good for soft chairs, so I can't sit in that room too long....believe it or not you get into a routine and every day you think of some way to do something better, now mind you I'm not in any pain at all whatsoever, a little discomfort when the leg swells by the end of the day so I'm better off than some...I do the stairs at night and then in morning and other than that Idon't use them...I go slow, ...I also do the exercies religiously...I don't know what you got, but you can vist a physio office or ask your doctors for some tht you can do at home before you start to see the therapist....You will pick up some helpful tips on this site, so keep reading daily...best of luck, Patricia from Toronto
Hi Sue
Are you in the UK? If so they dont usually send you home unless they are sure you can cope.
Your kids should be able to help a bit.,
Start organising now.....everthing at a level where you can reach without bending or stretching at first. As for the stockings I had to keep them on even though I was sent home with injections {stomach every day} I know people who have had a district nurse come in and help with them for the first few times. They dont come on and off every day {according to my surgeon}
I had a trolly beside me and I had the phone on it, a notebook and pen, some make up {most important
} and a mirror. Magazines. You'll think of other things. The OT will give you a raised toilet seat, check your seat for height. Some people talk about a walker. I had crutches...no walker but I was told by someone else to ask for a trolly. {when I had my 1st THR} It was fantastic. I walked with crutches to the trolly, set them down, used the trolly to go into the kitchen to make a cup of tea or whatever and wheel it back again. Or to move things from one place to another, making sure the phone was on it LOL.
You should be able to ask the kids to help you......when they are out they can leave you a flask and some sandwiches covered and anything like that. I'm sure they could do a microwave meal for you at nights.
I found the stairs reasonabley easy once I remembered which leg went first LOL.
I only had my husband going up behind and down in front of me for a day and that was it.
I cant think of anything else ...I'm sure there are plenty of other things...if you think of anything ask
OH.....shopping online...thats good for time. Set theat up before you go in.
I dont know if you have long or short hair but mine is short and I was at the hairdressers {much to my husbands amusement} the day before I went in.
You can also buy shampoos ...I got mine online. You dont need water so no bending. I sat down on a seat, you squeeze some liquid out of the bottle then lather it, then you towel it off. I didnt think it would work but as an in between hair washings it really helped. Also dry shampoo.
Love
Eileen
Hi Sue,
Sorry to hear about your disappointments. However ~ I sadly am on my own as well. Many folk asked: 'However will you cope on your own!?' I have found no bother at all ~ except when I drop my hadi-helper grabber on the floor. Having no kind lady to pick it up for me I quickly realised that one can use one of one's walking sticks to manoeuvre it about & pick it up on one's own. the bottom line of my advice is: if you've managed to control 2 teenagers, & look after yourself ~ have absolutely NO concern about your ability to cope after your surgery. All of the restrictions (no bending past 90 degrees; sleeping on one's back etc.) are a bit of a pain in the backside; but don't last long ~ & you'd need to adhere to them whether you had a bidey-in or no.
Go forward & start the road to getting your real life back, with no worries.
All the best, John (Ross-shire Buff)
Thanks... I have a cleaner and the kids can cook, just a bit worried that if something goes wrong they'll have to cope with it. Anyway... thanks for the support! Glad to hear you coped so well.
Thanks so much...I am supposed to be in for five days and yes, the command centre is a good plan as I will have to get back to work as soon as I have the energy (I am a writer). All I can think about is being able to get to the gym again and back to pilates so will most certainly get those exercises done!
Eek - hair washing and stomach injections too! I guess I will know a lot more after the pre-op thing on Friday. Don't think I get a district nurse as I'm having it done privately on insurance, which is all very well but the hospital isn't local...but not complaining! Thanks for all the advice.
Thank you John! Some forums are really gloomy about going it alone but I suppose the people who post on them may have some kind of gripe by nature, or they wouldn't be there. This one is really helpful and positive. We have a grabby claw thing that I can pick things up with/attack people with. Not looking forward to sleeping on my back, though...Sue
Thank you! My elderly parents are on holiday, sadly, when I have it done, but hopefully my kids will make tea etc and come for short walks with me. Just got to get through those 10 days...
good girl!
Hi Sue
I would still advise setting up online shopping for a few weeks just to get you over this stage.
Love
Eileen