After my first counselling session last week I realised...I have no idea what a good counsellor is supposed to be like.
I suppose it is different for everyone but realistically, I don't actually know how counselling is supposed to work. My counsellor seems very young, a lot of her questions were repetitive and she didn't really say anything productive but I would imagine the session was more about her getting to know me and my situation which, is probably why. She was incredibly lovely and I'm interested to go again and see what comes of the sessions so, that is obviously a good sign.
My question is really...how do you know if your counselling is working for you? How do you know if you're wasting your time? Are there particular signs for a good/bad counsellor? Is it literally a lucky dip until you find somebody who fits?
Does it work at all?
I'm just curious to hear other people's experiences with counselling, the good, the bad and the ugly. Because even though I'm the patient...I have no idea what I'm doing!
I think everyone feels that way when going to any one in the medical profession. You get there, you're talking and you realize that you don't know what to expect or what you are missing.
First, it's a very good sign that you are interested in going again because above all else they should make you comfortable to be in their presence and answer their questions.
Since it was your first session I would say asking a lot of repetitive questions without giving advice is par for the course. She may have been taking notes and as you switched topics realized she didn't get it all down and asked again. However, I'm inclined to believe the average counselor asks the questions again in slightly different ways to see if your answers change. They can perceive a lot about your personality or your fears if you answer questions differently based on phrasing for example.
I think it's a good bet this was a get to know you session and the second one may be too, depending on how quickly you open up. I would say if you don't feel there is any progress by the 3rd session, bring it up to her and see what she says. Depending on how you feel about her response will tell you if you want to go elsewhere.
However, it is important for you to hear that a sign of a good counselor is NOT telling you what you want to hear. A good counselor will try to get you to see yourself and situations from another view and this may not place all your actions into a good light or may not jive with your personal beliefs. This doesn't make them a bad counselor, you have to be open to advice and open to questioning the advice until you feel you truly understand the point they are making.
Hey Manda, thank you for your post it was so well written and insightful!
I didn't think about the difference of an answer due to the re-phrasing of a question, that's really interesting - I think that probably was why she was quite repetitive, trying to dig deeper and see what she can find.
She did say that we would have a chat on the fourth session to discuss how I feel things are going with the counselling so, that will be very useful it seems.
I definitely agree, I hope it is productive and goes well - I guess I will have to keep attending and give it my best! Thank you again for your comment, it was extremely helpful!