Crippling Health Anxiety, need to vent

Mental health
1

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago and largely had things under control until a few months ago. Prior to then I would have the odd worry about a pain in my arm and confusing it for angina, things like that. Then recently, I got a bad virus (glandular fever) which took several months to clear. Basically the whole time I couldn’t stop worrying that I had something seriously wrong with me, and kept asking myself questions like “why is this happening to me” and “when will this ever go away?”

Thankfully that cleared up, but pretty much straight away I got a sinus infection which has included pressure on my brows for the last 4 weeks. Of course, I was worried about the worst again, but I was always able to manage these feelings to an extent until a few days ago when I started to get muscle twitches just as I was about to fall asleep. I did the worst thing possible and Googled the symptoms, and lo and behold, Google brought back a result of Fatal Insomnia, a disease so rare that 5 people worldwide get diagnosed every year. However, this freaked me out massively as I could relate to 5 or 6 of the symptoms that were returned. Of course, when I’m thinking rationally, I can recognise that those exact symptoms are also physical and mental symptoms of anxiety! But I do really struggle to keep myself calm now. It’s at a point where I feel like I’m entering a vicious circle where I’m afraid to go to sleep as I’ll inevitably get one of those twitches, and start getting anxious about everything all over again.

Of note, I’ve recently started taking my Citalopram again within the last 2 weeks which may be exacerbating my worries.

However, my problem is now this . I can’t think rationally most of the time. I spoke to my doctor today who did his best to calm me down, and said that it’s quite likely I have OCD. I’m constantly thinking negative thoughts, worrying about small things, thinking irrationally, and have silly coping mechanisms which don’t actually make things better, they make things worse.

I’m at a point now where I’m having difficulty getting to sleep and staying asleep. I feel like I’m putting a lot of pressure on my wife too by being so worried all the time. I had a panic attack yesterday thinking about it all and we had to leave the cinema early.

I was wondering if anybody out there has had similar experiences with health anxiety and might have some advice? I’ve introduced regular meditation and mindfulness to my day, and I’ve reached out to a few therapists and am seeing a couple this week to see how we get on.

Thanks for reading

2

I can’t sleep through the night unless I am listening to white noise or meditations. It’s great that you are seeking out therapists. They are very helpful. It’s great to have somebody to vent to who can help. I keep doing mine virtually which works out great.
always remember that when we have anxiety our mind tends to go to the negative. If you are aware of that, you will also know that those negative things we think about, and all those fears rarely happen. They are not based on reality or fact, but only based on emotion which is fear. I know these things are hard to turn around but it’s possible.
Do you get any exercise? That is the one thing that helps me tremendously. That’s because exercise activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the one that calms you down. The sympathetic nervous system is the one that causes anxiety and panic attacks.
i’ve had anxiety all my life and one thing I know is that when you try to fight it off, it can get worse. I just got to the point where I just accept it but I also try to take care of myself physically and mentally and eat healthy. I try to have a nonchalant attitude about it.
Go to YouTube, where you can find so many great relaxing meditations. Maybe you are already doing that, but are usually fall asleep to them. During a panic attack proper breathing is the most important thing you can do to slow everything down.
take one day at a time. I tend to overthink things also but when I am aware of that, I get busy doing something else. I do hope everything gets better for you.