I'm glad to have found a forum where people are discussing this. I have found some medical-oriented sites and they all seem to say the same thing, which doesn't really help in the day-to-day living with this.
After some very heavy periods, I went to my GP who said it was just age-related. Since it persisted, I went to a GYN who said she could feel the fibroids on exam and wondered why I'd never been told about them before. An ultrasound confirmed one that is 6.7cm.
I was 43 at the time (now 44) and my mother said she was in full menopause by 47, so I was hoping to just wait it out. I read about a study with green tea extract, so I started taking that but it didn't seem to have an effect. In fact, when I stopped taking it, the bleeding seemed to lessen. I keep notes each month and keep trying to find a pattern, but it seems to change. For instance, this month, there seemed to be fewer beeding days, but then after a few days of just brown discharge, on days 14-18 I've been having small washes of blood that fill pantiliners. Today there were a few dark small clots. I suspect it's because the fibroid has altered the flow and the blood can't get out.
I'm thinking I may just give in and have the surgery, which terrifies me. When I just go in for appointments, my blood pressure spikes and I'm sure people in the next room can hear my heart pounding. I'm not just afraid of the surgery, but the cost (I'm in the US) and the time lost from work.
Anyway, I'm glad to have some people to commiserate with.