In the past I've had depersonalization and derealization episodes, usually brought on by the sudden thought that one day I'm going to die. It makes me freak out, and within days i spiral into this deep depression and anxiety with existential thoughts and feelings like I can't enjoy anything and life iteself seems unfathomable. In the past it has gone in about 5 months and I was able to get on with life as usual on the outside and then it would just go away. Well I got it again in December and this time I've had awful time. In February the thoughts became really weird like I was afraid to be in existence, I would had adrenaline rushes throughout my body, I became anxious and started pacing, couldn't eat, or sleep, couldn't stay still, everything needed to move. This has calmed down somewhat, but I still have this sense of fear of death and it prevents me from enjoying anything in life. I don't want to do anything, although I force myself to do it. I'm always wanting to move onto the next thing. I don't want to sit still and I can't find a way to feel at peace with anything. All the things i usually like to do are blocked by this feeling of anxiety. I'm anxious about existing, if that makes sense. It creates a feeling of hopelessness, to the point where I have suicidal ideation on a regular basis. But i'm afraid to die.... so I just feel trapped in it all. I'm highteningly anxious every waking minute but in my dreams I'm normal. Now the weird thoughts are gone, just this sense of anxiety, and just can't see life normall. I question life itself all the time.I'm on
escitalopram 20mg and 50mg of seroquel at night for sleep. anyone else had this sense of being trapped in life? I really can "feel" who I am again, after the derealization and depersonalization and feeling of loss of self has gone away. I just feel so desperate. I just feel like I can't accept this feeling, although I know that's the key to getting past this.
Yes I feel like this daily but I have hypochondria
It's another form of anxiety but your focysing on this certain thing. I obsess about everything .everyday problems then things like you what if I die what will I do if my parents die etc. My head never stops. Everyone else seems to enjoy life day by day so I thought I was mad. Now thanks to these sights and my doc I realise it's anxiety but feel it's unfair I can't get it to go away. But then people with other serious physical or mental illnesses would love them to go away. Tell your doc u need to know more about this anxiety focused on death.my friend is hypochondriac and any pain then she's dying you could have a form of both.please talk to doc could be treated if they know someone specialising inanxiety. Don't panic other people do have this but you need help. After years I can have good times.would love you to as well. Heart goes out to epilepsy like us it's so scary❤️
I too have been through this... It started for me when I was very young, I didn't really even know much about death but I was afraid. I would refuse to go to sleep and when my step dad tried to comfort me because I was laying in bed crying, I told him I couldn't go to sleep because I wouldn't wake up. That went on for a long time.
The thought of dying causes me great anxiety.
You aren't alone.
Yes yes yes.
This is what I have been trying to deal with for the last couple of months! Death to me sends hot flushes through my body and even disturbs something when I'm being happy!
The thoughts are crazy but it's all in our mind! We need to battle this and together.. we can beat this awful thing x
There is a song called the rose by middler...and the soul afraid of dying never learns to live. Listen to this song. Its nice and powerful lyrics.
Hi, I have suffered with chronic depersonalization since my father died 3 years ago.
I can only best describe it as like being in a dream but being awake whilst feeling diconnected from real life and society and feeling emotionally numb.
I was aware this was happening but thought it was just part of aging but my wife said it was like going places on her own as I was never present in mind which was a real wake up call to the situation.
I have an appointment with a mental health professional therapist tomorrow to discuss how I feel and to try to find a way to break out of the depersonalization and be more present.
I understand that depersonalization can be triggered by the brain getting too much anxiety and being overloaded, I have suffered with chronic anxiety for 6 years when my dad was diagnosed with cancer.
I have not felt like me since that day...
Yes Anxiety is terrible. For me too. Even when I want to be happy, want to laugh etc, This awful feeling is there. It paralyzes me. Today is the first day of a new job and I'm so afraid that I won't be able to stick the course. I have Ativan! I'm hoping that the distraction will be good to help me think about other things! I've been out of work for the past 12 months and I think that has added to the perpetual anxiety. Thanks for you reply! I hope it passes for you too!
Thank you! It's such an irrational phobia but it's so scary.
Thats a long time to feel not well. I"m glad you are going to see a cousnellor. I hope you recover soon. Anxiety is a terrible affliction. I'm very sorry for your loss. take care