hello there...about three years ago I got diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia....I had also just started dating someone...at first my illness wasn't so bad so it didn't have an impact on my relationship but now after three years my condition has got worse because my meds aren't working too good....it's the third lot of meds Ive tried changing with no improvement...my boyfriend is my carer...but doesn't get paid for it...he sometimes cooks, cleans and does washing or ironing for me....and Is my emotional support also...our relationship was fine till he started To look after me...now he says it's too much for him...lately we have been fighting all the time...and I think my illness is effecting him to the point it drives him to the drink....I think he has depression now and it's my fault...I think that deep down he wants me to not have this illness...but despite me fighting it off every day it just won't go away...and he doesn't love or accept me for what I am...my illness is part of me....I can't switch it off...I won't miraculously get better....I love him and don't want to loose him...but I don't think he loves me...and seeing how my illness effects him...seeing him down in the dumps is getting me down...I think he just wants someone who hasn't got a mental illness.....sometimes my house gets a bit messy and he says it gets him down...I am a semi schizzo...or chronically depressed...should I go tho a time of mourning and just be on my own for life?... I'm tired of the heart break...I'm tired of people wanting me to be different...Ive lost everyone because of my illness...Im just a burden for people no matter what...Ive been crying since Saturday...everyday...and I don't want to cry no more...I don't want my boyfriend to end up in an early grave cos of me...Im thinking I really should contemplate life on my own...I'm tired of being scared he will find better...I constantly feel like he's gonna dump me again because he's tired of me....to be honest I don't think he loved me from the start...I need advice from people who are going through the same thing or have experienced the same problems...
Hi Booboo, you can't help being the person you are and your not responsible for your boyfriends feelings, those are down to him. Firstly you need to get your meds sorted again so a visit to the psychiatrist is needed.
Its probably time to sit down with your boyfriend and have a good talk about your relationship and how you perceive things, you both need to be honest, if it's a simple thing of you keeping up with the house work then great you can do that.
Thats how I suggest you start and take it from there.
Neil
Ive tried talking to him...but he says everything is ok...but then he snaps at me all the time....i read a text he sent to someone and it said I don't know if I should stay or leave basically...I don't think he loves me no more...I think it is the house work and my mental illness and my looks cos I'm fat...it's like he can't stand me no more...sick of me...the only time I think he's honest with me is when he is drunk...and when he is drunk he can't wait to start a fight and say it's over...I feel like I'm waiting to be executed...like my head is going to be chopped off at any moment.... hate feeling this way...constantly scared he will leave me and find someone who makes him happier...and unfortunately there's not much I can do...
Hi booboo
What diagnosis do you have? I have recently been diagnosed with schizotypal disorder and borderline personality disorder.
What meds have you tried as there are so many that could help from the different types of anti depressants to mood stabilisers to anti psychotics. Even epilepsy drugs have had good results too. I agree with Neil, you need to go back to your psychiatrist and tell them exactly how you feel. They can try something different.
Also, what other therapy have you tried? It might be worth looking into DBT, Mentalization therapy or schema therapy - all are recommended for schizotypal disorder so may be helpful to you...
I have depression, anxiety and schizotypal disorder...years before they diagnosed me with chronic depression...or major depression....a nightmare...for both me and people closest to me...I have tried: risperidione and sertraline (what worked the best for me but stopped working)....diazepam...but didn't work,,,,and mirtazapine and aripiprazole....that don't work for me...Ive been on them for....two...three years now...at not working for me at all....some days I do housework....someday I'm emotionally flat...very depressed....I have tried cbt in the past....but at that moment of time I was fine so didn't really need it....I think I need to be hospitalized in a mental institution for a while...it's the only hope Ive got left...cos nothing else helps much...I'm sorry about your diagnosis...I'm my case I think it is schizophrenia...because someone who I know has got it and we are very alike...what meds are you on? Do they work?
They've told me that schizotypal disorder can be a precursor to schizophrenia. My grandad had schizophrenia so I am at an increased risk.
I'm currently on venlafaxine 375mg, trazadone 400mg (both antidepressants) and zopiclone 15mg to help with sleep. So far the zopiclone is helping so I at least get a few hours sleep without any nightmares.
It's definitely worth talking to your psychiatrist to see if a change of meds would help. My psychiatrist wants to try me on a mood stabiliser if my current meds don't improve my mood. He's thinking of either carbamazepine or valpoate - both are supposed to be good for treating rapid swings between mania and depression.
Yes I have that too...and I also have a relative who has it...I can't change my meds at the moment but I will ask in the future...my family member who has it is alone...she is pretty contempt with her life...( I'm not...)she has friends..hobbies...(I can't function well at the moment)and sometimes won't take her meds because she is convinced there is nothing wrong with her....with me however I realize I am somewhat different...without my meds I wouldn't function...so I take them regularly....I also know how poorly I was in the past without medication I think I went psychotic...being in a relationship and wanting to have a family one day...it's like I'm constantly being pushed to be "normal" when I'm not....and having someone "sane" around makes me realize how different I am....I'm under a lot of pressure....maybe that's why my family member decided to be alone...I think it's easier that way....maybe me and my boyfriend will be able to find a solution that makes us both happy but I doubt it...I think eventually he will find it easier to just leave....and find someone who is mentally ok...I will ask to get put on your meds...thank you for answering me...it's difficult to find people that understand sometimes...
He does care about you. He cooks, cleans etc. If he didnt he would have left. Dont think that way. Get help. Therapy, change of meds, check your vitamin d levels. They cause schizophrenia. Take vitamins eat well, sleep. With the right therapist and meds you will get better. Good luck.
Thank you...I hope I will get at least half better...I'll try asking for therapy...and new medication...I didn't know that about vitamin d... 😊 Thank you.
No problem. I hope you feel better and get the help you need. Good luck👍
Baby girl, you don't need any boyfriend.You need the suitable medication and you will be fine.If he doesn't want to stay anymore,then let him leave.You don't need him.You need to focus on your health,on what you need to do and what your dreams in the future are.Take your recommended dosage daily and check in with your GP 2 or more a month.And please never say that you need to be checked in a mental institution again.It's horrible, I've been there twice and I couldn't handle it.You will die there quickly out of stress,loneliness and sadness.Leave him and start looking for yourself.You are not insane,stop saying that please.You have been a very brave person and you will make it till the end.Then you can take up hobbies,start work and also start losing weight.There's no reason why someone would not want you.But you want to love and take care of yourself first.Living alone is not the worst thing if you keep being healthy,believe me.And then a new fresh better love will come out of nowhere.I also take the anti-depressive escitalopram 10mg if that helps you too.
Thank you, I will ask eventually to change my meds, I just have to live with my illness for a while. Thank you I will ask to get put on that maybe it will work better for me.