My boyfriend of 2.5 years just broke up with me out of the blue. We didn't have a fight, things have been seemingly normal in our relationship, so I guess i am looking for answers as to why, since he is not providing a lot of information.
He was taking Kratom since I met him, and it seemed to be helping him. Recently, however, he has developed a tolerance, and it was helping him less and less. At the beginning of October, his doctor told him he should stop taking them because of the symptoms he was having, and the potential illegal status they may have in the near future.
Since then, he was in a dark place and coming down from Kratom. He assured me over and over he would get better. He continued to tell me how much he loved me, there have even been days where he has laughed and joked with me. But he has not replaced Kratom with anything else to deal with his depression. He says he has now balanced out from that, but balanced can still mean depressed.
He used to go places with me from time to time, he literally has not gone anywhere with me in months. He also suffers from anxiety, so even though it wasn't easy for him to go anywhere, he still did. After every single trip, he said I was right and it was fine.
Recently, his dog, who is his whole world, has been having issues with her knees. He found out she may have to have surgery to repair them. I also asked him to come to Reno with me and my family for Thanksgiving, and told him it was important to me. He was really stressing out over it, even though I told him if he didn't want to go it was fine. He also has some big projects going on at work. I have been 100% supportive, but he has been having a rough time with all of it.
On Sunday, three days ago, he came to my place and told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. It was very matter-of-fact, not sad, just what it had to be. He said he had been thinking of this for a while now, and he doesn't believe it is his normal negative thoughts that tell him he's worthless. He's completely positive this has nothing to do with his depression.
I talked to him last night, and he explained what he meant by not wanting to be with me anymore. He said that previously, even on days when he wanted to see no one, he'd want to see me. He says he has stopped having those thoughts over the last few months. He says he isn't interested in seeing anyone else, he just does not want to be in "the relationship" as he keeps calling it. He says he still loves me and cares about me, but isn't interested in me in that way anymore.
Everything I read makes this sound like depression, but when I try to point out that it's the depression talking and ask him to see through to the love we have for each other, he's convinced that I'm wrong. Is this normal for depressed people to feel like their decision to end a relationship is completely sound, and not due to depression?