Depressed, cursed? What is going on, how do I get better?

I am only 20, I've had thousands of symptoms and hundreds of doctor visits, so many tests done. From the simplest tests to brain tomography, to stress test to only find.... nothing? Recently my symptom is so weird, for like 2 months I feel like I have fever but everyone that touches me says no pretty normal. It's not anything close to the fever of flu, with flu you have no apettite for anything, chills, nausea, dizziness and so so. But that is not the case I am not dizzy at all I can do everything physically, I can eat, drink pretty well, and I am normal in weight, 70 kgs 174cm height. I sleep quite well. I mean I just feel bad and like sick inside and it doesn't even get worse at all, some days being better too. I feel like I've forgotten what normal feels like and to be honest I don't even have an idea whether I am feeling sick or not, I know that it sounds weird but that's it, whenever the doctors see me they're like oh what do you feel now? I've went there for so so many different symptoms which were worse to only find nothing. My health anxiety is incredible. Recently out of no where I started reading about lymphoma and I was convinced that I have it, like I was convinced that I had like 30 cancers and heart diseases before. I had promised my self not to read but...

Do you think I might have lymphoma?

Or do I have a mystery disease, or is it again nothing to worry about, a week later I am going to a week long holiday with my girlfriend and it's her birthday, I don't want to ruin this holiday for her I want to feel goodrolleyes i would really appreciate some advice..

Sounds just like me... I’m around the same age as you and have also, just like you, had about 100 different tests. Drs think I’m crazy because sometimes I don’t even know how to describe my symptoms and then I start to think about it and wonder if I’m really having any symptoms at all.. completely understand what you’re talking about. I just never feel 100%, I look back and remember not feeling this way and now it’s like even at my best day I don’t feel 100%. I feel feverish too and have actually had low grade fevers, usually just 99. Been to the drs for that too and had 50 different tests, only thing they can say is I have adrenal fatigue or fibromyalgia  from all the stress and worry I’ve put my body under thinking I have all these diseases and the adrenal fatigue or fibromyalgia is causing the low grade fevers.. honestly don’t know anymore. I’ve had a good week and I’m trying not to think about it but it’s hard because I’m scared it’s going to come back with a vengeance like it always does sad

Your story is essentially the same as mine. At a certain point you are going to have to admit to yourself that your problems are psychological in nature (anxiety), and not physical. Trust me, I’ve been down the never ending rabbit hole of developing symptoms, becoming certain I have disease/condition X, only to have it ruled out by extensive testing. At which point, I’d enjoy brief respite before becoming convinced I have some other mystery condition, or that the doctors missed something. The likelihood of young people developing these horrible issues is already incredibly low (yes it happens, but is very rare). Now add into that the fact that we have seen doctors and undergone numerous tests, which makes the odds of us having something of that nature even more rare. 

Put away the medical dictionary, go on holiday with your girlfriend and have a good time. Anxiety can make you struggle and feel bad, but nobody ever died of it.

You're 20, young and you have your whole life in front of you. You need to enjoy it while you are young. Remember, there is some old guy in a hospital right now truly living out his last days. You owe it to him to enjoy your gift of youth while you still have it. Peace.