following a stroke at a young age my husband has slipped into depression and he's pushing me away
he goes off to gym, sauna, swimming seams like anything to be away from me
i don't think he wants to be away from you
i just think he is scared
He is probably finding life difficult to handle at the moment, particularly as he has had to face the reality at a youngish age that life is but a thin thread.
We men have this tendency to take everything, particularly life for granted and we can think of ourselves as immortal, as that state has never been challenged before.
When we are jolted into the realisation that this is not the case it comes as a hard blow.
I do not think for one moment that he wishes to be away from you.
What he probably thinks he needs right now is to try and build-up his strength and prove to himself that he is the man that he thought he once was.
If I were you I would just go with it for the moment and give him the time to do what he thinks he has to do.
please leave him alone for a week or two.
it would work coz it worked for me too.
Thank you all for your comments
think I'm just going to leave him do what he wants to do and give him space. Just hard seeing someone I love so much be distant and vacant.
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Hello, Firstly i am sorry that your husband as had a stroke. It seems that he is struggling to come to terms with this and it is affecting his mental health. I have depression partly because i have lost my health so i can understand some of what he may be feeling. I think he is going to the gym for several reasons, it is good for depression to exercise, it will help his physical health. It will help his confidence and if he has low self esteem. I don't think he is pushing you away, he maybe trying to improve his health so he can feel better about himself. He may feel helpless as a partner because the stroke as weekened him. Encourage him to open up and talk about how he feels but don't push him. It must be very difficult for you to see what he has been through and maybe you are feeling helpless. Be supportitive and patient.
Best wishes.
Elizabeth.