depressed?

Ok so the other day I posted on here as I thought I might be depressed but I wasnt sure most people responded by telling me to go to the doctors which is a really big deal for me as I struggle with my confidence. I lost my mum back in november which I suppose has contributed to how I am feeling right now but I think it is more than just this. I think that if I go to the doctors they will just put it down to me loosing my mum and send me away saying that I need to speak to someone to help me deal with the loss and move on - do you think this will be the case am I just overreacting thinking I might be depressed? I have struggled with socialising with people and so I have always preferred to be on my own as im quite a shy person and so dont know how to open up to people. I have had to deal with a lot recently: my dad and step mum split up but only found out after I had moved 200 miles away from most of my family with my step mum and because of my job I only get to see my dad and other family members once a year, i started a job a couple of years ago and got on really well with my bosses and they really looked after me but at the beginning of last year they sold their pub and new owners took over I kept my job but they wanted me to run the kitchen vearing in mind I was only 18 and hadnt had this kind of responsibility before and I had no one to turn to for help as the new owners had no clue what they were doing - it was a very stressful 6 months but my previous bosses told me they were getting another pub and so I went to work with them again things were looking up and I felt a lot better. Then I lost my mum which was a bit of a knock back. But its only in the last two months where I have started feeling depressed as described above I often cry for no reason but should I just put these down to me grieving should I go to the doctors, am I really depressed or just overreacting!?

Go to the doctors....

I put it off thinking I would be ok and then it happened.... I hit rock bottom and hit it hard

I put my lack of sleep down to stress at work, I would just not feel hungry and thought it was because I was busy with work so I just brushed it off that I would be ok and get through it

I have had episodes of depression before but I didn't see this one coming

Then last week I started being sick after a few days of this, I sat on my bathroom floor crying my eyes out that I was falling apart and i couldnt cope as the day continued I was passing out and having anxiety tremors, followed by panic attacks

Then it hit me that I had hit bottom

I got prescribed antidepressants again after being off them for 6 months, am on diazepram to calm the tremors and panic attacks and anti sickness tablets to ease the upset stomachs

Explain to them the full extend of your symptoms and don't hold back as it's the only way they can help you x

Hi Bethanya,

I think if your asking the question "am I depressed?" then I think it's time for you to go find out and the best way to do that is to go see your gp. Even just talking to someone about it can be a huge load off and they will have the information and advice as to what or where to go next.

I think you'll find a running theme with anyone who has been hit hard with depression is exactly as Anne described. We put it down to other things going on. Stress, grief and any other individual reason we can think of but we sometimes don't see them as all one thing lumped on our shoulders at once. We also tend not to consider that while the loss of a loved one and stress from work are huge things on their own, if we are in a state of depression our ability to comprehend, process and cope with what life throws at us is compromised.

I know if I could go back a couple of years or so you would see a David shaped blur heading up to my gp surgery that's for sure.

I hope this makes sense. I'm not the best at putting down what I think. If it does make sense I hope it helps

Take care

D

Dear Bethanya - the reason the people on here have said go to the doctors is that its obvious if you were able to 'self help' without assistance you would have done so already and wouldn't be suffering still.  It's obviously your choice whether you seek professional help or not but if you don't, it will just continue.  To a health professional it won't matter why you're depressed only that you are and need help to get better. Bottom line, either go and get help or don't - it's ultimately your choice.

ioxia - Whoa that sounded very severe. Maybe you could show a tad more compassion in your replies. Re read your post, it's not what you've said but the way you've said it!! 

There's a test on this website somewhere, or the nhs website which asks you a number of questions. Just google 'depression test'. This will give you an idea of whether you are depressed or not, then you can go to the doctors.

it wasnt meant to be harsh but realistically why ask for advice then throw it back in someone's face when they are giving their honest opinion and trying to be helpful.  Many have replied that it would be most helpful to bethanya to go see their doctor and their reply indicated they didnt like hearing that most people said just that.  I was just trying to underline the fact that if its not possible to get oneself out of a bad place then the best thing is just what people have kindly advised - go see the doctor .  I'm assuming bethanya is an adult and has the freedom to make their own choices - they thus can choose to take the advice or not, it's totally their free choice is all, no-one can force them but really if you ask for advice and the majority say the same thing, dont then criticise those kind and helpful people.

Thanks for the replies - I have done several online tests of which all indicated I had depression I suppose I just thought I would get over it! I think I will book a doctors appointment tomorrow but because I struggle speaking to people in general I am scared that I will just freeze and wont be able to tell them exactly what they need to know.

She didn't critcise anyone merely stated that she found approaching her doctor difficult. I'm sure she appreciated everyone's help but just finds it difficult making that step to the doctors. It's good that she can open up on here but too many responses as harsh as yours I'm sure she will think twice about doing that in future. A little kindness goes a long way, Maybe the depression area of the forum isn't the best place for your posts. The get a grip mentality really isn't helpful. 

Hi you have had a lot of loss and stress recently and I really do think the doctor could help.   S/he might think you need bereavement counselling to help you cope even if they don't think you are depressed in general.   You have nothing to lose by going so why not and see what happens?  x

 

In your previous post on the board someone suggested you show your gp your post. You could even just wright everything down. If you explain to your gp about your lack of confidence I'm sure they won't mind reading what you need to say. I have issues sometimes with communication especially when it's about how I feel or something I feel awkward about. I've got the words but I either freeze and go blank or they come out jumbled so I wright letters if I have to get something out.

The first time I went to the doctors I walked in and all she said was hello and I broke down in tears and wasn't able to say anything for the first about 10 mins but it really did help and my Gp mainly asked the questions that the online depression test do

As I said before though it will only work if you are completely honest with them though x

Thanks for your reply - I havent been able to get to sleep again so I have wrote everything dowtp pass on and I shall be making a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully things will start to get better I just hope I have the confidence to go on the day!

I can never sleep I feel lucky if I get 3 hours a night

You will be fine, you have made the first step by realising that something is not right and you need help...... not going to lie it isn't easy but worth it

I know I will beat this as I have done so before and I will become stronger because of it......... have you a close friend that you can trust to go with you even if they just sit in the waiting room for you x

No I dont have any friends but wouldnt want anyone to know at the moment anyway. I have booked an appointment for later on today so I cant talk myself out of it but I am absolutely petrified!

Everyone gets scared however remember you are not alone and a lot of people feel what you feel

I wish you all the best for later and please let me know how you get on

If you start to feel like you are talking yourself out of going..... message me x

Hi Bethanya, sounds like your suffering from reactive depression as a result of what has been going on in your life.

Go speak to your GP to help your get through it, make sure you explain how your feeling and that your crying often for no reason.

Might be worth taking a depression questionnaire "Goldberg" one is often used by GP's. Print it off and take it with you.

Best wishes.

Hey Beth. Haven't read through all the responses to your post, but my first feeling on reading yours was this: write down what you're feeling throughout day/night for a day or two; then, when you go to Gps - which I think is a good first move - you'll have a record of your moods & emotions: hand them your notes. That way it'll be less 'confrontational' and equip the Gp with a broader view of how you're doing. Remember this: the thought is worse than the deed - you can also book through MIND some counselling. Be kind to yourself and please do try to not assume it'll be a difficult path out of where you are - you can do it...

Wishing you well.

Blessings to you

Dave

I just thought I would let everyone know that I went to the doctors today and I have been given medication and a self referral form to see a councillor so hopefully this is a step in the right direction x

Well done you. I hope that you start to feel better soon. x