I had the perfect guy but he suffers from severe depression and despite us never having a bad word, in the last few months it's gotten really bad and there have been a few rifts, he says he can't cope with having to worry about me and can't see past the end of a bottle at the moment and I'm better off without him. We have always managed to sort it out but weeks ago we had a stupid tiff and he freaked out on me, I said a few things that I shouldn't as he hurt me.the next night his clothes were gone and my spare key was here. A couple of days later I text him although over the next fews days he read them but never replied. He had the chance to block my number but didn't. A few days later late at night he was messaging me very odd disjointed and strange messages and saying he was the mug not me?. The next morning I messaged him to say I was letting him go. A few days later I messaged him saying sorry I had abandoned him and I knew he was drowning, he replied that he's fine and doesn't need a mother or carer and didn't want to be with anyone at the moment. 5 nights later when I was asleep he sent me a smile face with two kisses.the next morning I asked him did he have anything to say to me, he said no so I didn't reply and have heard nothing for two weeks. Now I'm not sure if he was reaching out to me and letting me know that he was still in the background or really doesn't care. I am trying my best to leave him to contact me but am wondering if he thinks I don't care anymore. It's so hard as I realise now I'm not dealing with a person who always thinks rationally. I love him so much and he's a good person
It boils down to, can you be with him and fully accept that living and loving a depressed person is very hard, and that you cannot take out how hard it is on him? Few people can, and it's no failing to not want to be a part of that, but it's best to be honest with yourself about it
Yes I can, I love him dearly and I was always happy with him, the last few months have been hard but mainly as I didn't understand depression and the things it does to a person. I have done a lot of research the last few weeks. I just thought he didn't care and said some very hurtful things to him, to most people it wouldn't matter but not to a depressed person they would, I didn't realise. He took my concerns as pity and they are not.i want to help him because I love him not because I feel sorry for him. I said I was not going to fight for him anymore as I hoped it would make him seek professional help that he said he needed. Now I'm afraid I've done more damage. I kinda hoped that having no contact would be a good thing, now I don't. I think I probably need to go see him but am scared of rejection. Despite everything I don't have one bad memory because as a couple new were great and I understand that he can't help this, hell of a way to find out. I just want him to have some peace in his life.
He could have manic depression. it can take hold for weeks upon end. lithium is good for it but dont push to hard and always remember to stop fights before they start and if they do NEVER say regrettable things. it's hard to forget words from loved ones.
Hi Sammie, your boyfriend is not thinking and behaving in a rational way due to his illness, all you need to do is message him that you are there for him at a time when he is ready, let the illness take its course and hopefully he will be back if not then you will have to let him go and move on as you can't be captive to him.
Try not to analyse his behaviour or messages as its not helpful to you and only he can find peace, it's not your responsibility.
Keep in touch with him for as long as you feel you want too but don't let it become a pre occupation if it does let him go.
Thanks, I really think he does, we have never really fought until a few weeks ago and I realised to late don't say things out of hurt and temper
I need to go see him, this all started over messages, thanks for your message, its helped me a lot