I am experiencing round two of anxiety and depression. My first bout was 5 years ago. Got on Celexa and poof....it was gone and literally changed my life. Find myself in the midst of it again and obsessed with how much time everyone I love has left including me. I think about it everyday. It feels like time is slipping away. I have feared death most of my young life but thought I had beat the irrational fear when I started on the anti depressant. Round 2 is not as bad but my obsessive thoughts have returned. I'll be 50 this year and it might as well be 90. I can't seem to shake it. Dr. switched me to Lexapro and my anxiety is gone but not my thoughts of doom and gloom.
Anyone out there experienced this?
Hi Andrea
You must be so scared, I'v had anxiey for years and never though I would ever rid myself of it. I am a few years older than you but can only share my experience. Basically from around 18 I had anxiety this started by being bullied at work, I had a constant fear of death and dying that's all to do with the anxiety. I had anther bout of anxiety in the 1990's after moving to a new area having no support of family and friends, having to make new freinds as a result of moving with my husband's job. I have been on Seroxat for 4 years and managed to get off it. I used to be unable to leave the house as a result of this at the height of this I was in constant fear of death, dying and somehting happening to any ofmy close family members. I maned to overcome this by analysing what was happening to me I also got fed up with having them as they were putting my life on hold. Althought each and every panic attack was scary I anaged to convinvce myslef that although scary what actually happened to me, the answer was nothing, I didn't die I didn't have a heart attack and I didn't have an asmtha attack, I eventually regained control with posistve thinking. I have gone from being house bound to living a happy and fulfilling life travelling all over the plae. Last year I was in a hotel on my own and was vry poorly I felt like I was going to die, I must have had a bug or something but at the time Ifelt so ill I thought if I did die couldn't ahve possibly felt any worse. You will get throught this, it is frightening but there are people out there who will support you through this and you will come through the other side. Do you think anything has triggered this off? Finding a local support group with others experirncng the same could help. My husband has left mseylf and our kids suffering a breakdown and refusing to get help despite what I've goen through I am having to remain strong. Look after yourself and like I said people are here to help.
I have been afraid of dying ever since I can remember.. like absolutly terrified. I remember when I was little, probably about 5 or 6 I would start thinking about death and wondering what happens and despite believing in god all I could think of is what is it's nothing and the idea of nothing, not existing for eternity scared the crap out of me. I'm actually surprised I could comprehend something like that at such a young age but I never knew how to talk about it so I would go to my mother crying hysterically saying "I don't want to die" over and over again. This happened on multiple occasions. I am still terrified of dying but it is inevitable and I'll just have to deal with it! I've been put on the same medications as you in the same order actually. I started going to a psychologist about 4 months ago for what I thought to be depression and visual and auditory hallucinations. He started me on the celexa.. however it didn't have as good as an effect on me. It seemed to help some things but made others much worse. I started thinking I was crazy, got these extreme spurts of anger, and strong suicidal thoughts. Probably the only thing preventing it was my strong fear for death. I switched to lamictal (lexapro) and instantly felt better... happier and a lot less angry. This didn't last for much long after going up a few doses.. 50, 100 and now 150. At 25 and 50 I was very hopeful for this medication, it seemed like it was helping me a lot. Perhaps it was just the feeling of being off celexa. At 100 I started feeling very anxious, obsessing over thoughts. I would start to think of something and I literally couldn't stop. The anxiety was so overwhelming. Not to mention I was experiencing hallucinations again which worsened the anxiety. Since it was helping my depression he decided to put me on 150, since it was supposed to "treat the anxiety as well" I'm not 100% sure if it's doing so, but I have become slightly better at managing the anxiety/ ob sessive thoughts. Throughout this whole time of trying to find a medication that works for me, I've been so conflicted with my belifs. I've always believed I was special, my mother is very in touch with her spiritual side and I feel as though I've sort of inherited that. I'd like to think there is no reason to fear death, that there is a place we go and that these "hallucinations" are not hallucinations at all but things I am able to see with being more "in touch" I suppose you would say. Things like this would happen to me often when I was younger (I am 20 now) I would wake up terrified feeling as if something was watching me, I could feel exactly where in the room as if all these negative feelings were concentrated into that one part of a room. I've been so conflicted whether I should trust my feelings or listen to what professionals tell me. It is their job to tell me it's not real, however. This whole thing has made me more anxious about death, but I'd like to think that it's not just nothing.
yes i know exactly what your feeling but i will be 35 this year, felt this fear since as long as i can remember aug 2015 i had the first attack that was bad enough i dialed 911, ended up doing that twice 6 er visits a stress test gi scope and pulmonary testing to be told its anxiety come dec 2015 my father in law died it triggered everything again meanwhile i am pregnant so cant do much abou it some how made it threw now march my grandmother who raised me has passed and i feel out of my mind and out of my skin constant gloomy thoughts nothing we really do matters life is so short its awful , it has ruined my life i dont know what help is really out there for us but your not alone