So it appears that I have fallen into a rabbit hole of which I am struggling to climb out of.
Im almost 53 yrs old, with somewhat regular periods up until 6 months ago, and poof gone.
Now I find myself so dark, no joy, no meaning to anything really other than to focus on getting through each day, praying that I sleep, and trying to talk mysef into hope for recovery.
My docs after seeing my hormones completely bottom out from estrogen dominance to Zero estrogen, progesterone and T.
I briefly tried a few antidepressants which made me feel sooo horribly creepy, I had to stop. I am on a very low dose of bio identical hormones which arent doing anythin.
My question is...which way to turn? I feel like it has to be menopause but i dont hear other women with such mental challenges (depression, anxiety) like i am experiencing. I have never had even much anxiety or dperession to speak of with the exception of a few low moods, but now Boom..ive landed somewhere horrible and scary.
Im hearing that bioidenticals arent any better than standard hrt. Im really struggling. How do people hold down jobs in this state? Im barely able to cope with decision making and work and my two boys, its just basically survival at this stage. I dread each night wondering if i will be able to get enough sleep to get through the next day, and i dread dealing with people socially, when before i could handle anything, people, stress, anything! Now i am disenchanted with life and i have to fake it for my kids sake. This is criminal that women should suffer with this. I just feel like my depression is over the top.
Any support would be so appreciated. Blessings to all you women out there who deal with these things...
I know what you're going through I've had the same experience but I've managed to always remind myself it's not me it's the hormones and try and focus on the food things in my life try and don't believe what your thoughts are telling you the mind can play a game on you don't believe it big hugs
What kind of bio identicals are you on? Is your bloodwork being montiered regularly to ck your levels? Doctors who prescribe bio identical hormone therapy should start out low and work up depending on what your lab numbers show and how your symptoms are. Are you doing any progesterone, especially at night to help with your sleeping? I am 57, post menapausal for over 2 years and have been on bio identicals for almost 2 years. I am on the transdermal creams with estrodial, estriol and testosterone and OTC progesterone. A good dr. will take the time to run labs, listen to your issues and adjust your hormones accordingly until you feel better. Almost instantly I was able to sleep better just with the use of progesterone. The changes going on in our bodies from depleted hormones is tremendous. Getting on bio identicals has given me my life back and I feel my health for the rest of my life. Bio Identicals are much better than synthetics, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Synthetic estrogens have pregnant horse urine in them and they do not belong in a womans body. We never had horse estrogens in our body before menapause why would we put it in our body now? Most GP's are not trained or take the time to further their education into hormone replacement and most look down on it as a bad thing from the scare women had from synthetics and rightfully so. But now we have bio identicals and with the right dr. they can be a beautiful thing. My own GP a woman didn't want to hear about HRT so I dove into tons of reading and videos and made an appt with a holistic dr that has been fantastic. Best move I could have made at this point in my life. I too was experiencing the gloom and doom. Having thinning hair, nails becoming brittle, skin looking bad, lost sleep, hot then cold. Its no wonder women feel a mess. Anti depressants are not the answer but that is what many docs will prescribe women going through this. Then they feel worse because the anti depressants are just covering up the problems temporarilly not fixing the issues. Is your bio identicals being made specifically for you at a compounding pharmacy? Are you on any testosterone? Believe me, testosterone can make a huge difference in a womans attitude also. We need testosterone in our body and it is at the bottom right along with the rest of our hormones at this stage of life. Hope this helps, good luck!
I feel your pain and know exactly what you are going through. I don't know how long you've been feeling like this, but i've been going through severe insomnia for the past 3 1/2 years. Which in turn caused anxiety and eventually depression. I just turned 54 and my periods, which were already irregular for the past 3 1/2 years, have stopped the past 5 months. So i wonder, is this it? Am i in menopause now? But my insomnia continues. I have been on ADs but they caused more depression to the point i was weeping non stop. I did try Bio identical hormones 2 years ago, but for me they didn't help. I am also estrogen dominant and right now i think my estrogen is also dropping rapidly. For the first time i am getting mild hot flushes. Everyday i pray for the elusive sleep. I have started doing CBT - Cognitive Behavior Therapy with a psychotherapist. Hope it helps. Try the bio identicals under the guidance of a good doctor. It might help you. Sleep deprivation over a long time will cause depression. I don't know how i am going to work and functioning everyday. Purley through prayer. I hope you feel better soon. Wish they will hurry up and find a cure for all these miseries in menopause.
low dose, so maybe things aren't up to where you need to be yet. Do you mind telling us what you are currently taking? All delivery methods react a little different for different women.
These hormones effect every single aspect of our bodies. And that also includes our brains. So please don't feel alone
with this depression issue. Many women experience this. So don't give up. I also tried an antidepressant and felt awful. Yet that always seems to be a physicians go to. Doesn't mean it's right for you.
Please come back and at least allow this forum to help provide support and any
I'm having similar problems at the moment.. the dark moods, not
Feeling much enjoyment and generally like a bit of a zombie most days..I have noticed that it happens for about a week after my period then will subside until it all starts over again...
Talking to other women and knowing I'm not alone or going mad has helped..I don't really want to start taking medication if possible so trying a bit of therapy first and see where that goes..
There really should be much more awareness of all the things menopause can bring.. I would love to start up a support group... wow that would be interesting...!!
You are not alone so keep talking about what's going on and although it doesn't feel it at the moment.. it will pass and we will come out the other side..xx
Hi darl, I'm 50 and been in menapause for a few years. I get really bad anxiety and depression with it along with all other symptoms. I'm on hrt conti patches and they have been fantastic with no side effects. I'm 80 per cent better been on these. Hope this helps x
My doctor was very good to me. He did put me on a old school antidepressant called Trazodone. It really helped me. I don't take it every day anymore and probably will be off it completely soon, but antidepressants aren't for everyone, but it helped me through a rough period.
Juanita, I also have Trazadone. It's only a 50 mg tablet. Was yours stronger? Or a lower dose? I haven't taken it yet, just wondering if you took it at night before bed?
I'm on 100mg of Trazodone(I started with 50). I take it at night before bed. My doctor was adamant about that. He told me if taken during the day it will make you dizzy, because not only is it an antidepressant, it's also for sleep.
Dear Kauaiblue/Elizabeth - I am one of those woman that can relate to the mental health issues that you are going through. Thus the reason why I too joined this forum, to find women in simular symptoms to have a better understanding of what I am experiencing. A better unerstanding gives you an ease of mind in some way and definetly when you can relate to someone else suffering simular symptoms. My anxiety creaped up overnight. I was sick with infuenza and booked of for a week and 'a half. In the second week I just woke up the one morning not being able to cope. I was sooo tired and started having panick attacks and the anxiety was unbareable. At the age of 43 - i went to mom and dad house, (they have agranny flat on my premises) and got into bed with them, crying histerically as I could not get it under control. This lastes for 4days. I went back to work and was ok for a week and then it came back again. Like having about 3 attacks a day. So went of to Gp whom put me on xanor 0.5mg. This helped a little, I drank it in the mornings and was okaysih during the day. But once morning comes and I have to be ready with breakfast, packing lunch and coping with all the stress at work and running finances, it started again. So went to the GP again. So he put me on yet a stronger xanor. Then I got heart palputations, skippings beats, fluddering and sometimes a pounding beat that made me feel like fainting. So again i went to the GP having a stress ECG. Nothing was wrong - just anxiety causing the heart irregularities according to him. He then said that he thinks I suffer mild depression. Obviously because the anxiety caused me to feel down as I felt i wasn't coping. So he prescribed antidepressants too. I took them for abt 7days and they actually made me feel worse. The anxiety were even more exstreme and i had suicidle thoughts. So, even though everybody said that I have to use it for a min of 2weeks, for the benefits to kick in, I stopped using it. Why should I use sonething that makes me even feel worse.
I am with a clinical psychologist now, to help me to cope with the anxiety. I am stressed too that I am going to loose my job, as I am constantly tired. I cannot concentrate, I have to focus as I am the only breadwinner in the household, and having my child in grade 12 now, last year of school, I have to be strong for her too.
Just feels like I am loosing the plot here and do not know how to cope. Each and every day I suffer anxiety. I am taking minerals and supplements now, and vit d, just dont know when all this will get better.
You are not alone.. I wake up in the morning feeling tired and struggle to get going..my life in general is good but don't seem to be able to feel any of the good at times...
Breathing techniques, yoga, meditation talking to others all helps and trying to be kind to ourself.. as I beat myself up about being useless daily..
Get as much information you can about what's going on and reach out to others.. you are not alone and it's just another wonderful thing about being a women..!!
Sending you lots of hugs and hope today is a good one...xxx
Gailannie, yes it has helped me as an antidepressant(although we ended up upping my dosage from 50mg to 100mg). You have to find just the right dosage, and yes my sleep has improved. I had some really wild dreams at first, but those went away. I didn't realize how well it was working as a antidepressant until a doctor(my old doctor decided to move)decided to put me on Celexa(which I never took because of the side effects I read about). She decided the first time seeing her that Trazodone "wasn't a very good antidepressant". So she didn't renew my Trazodone script. So I was cutting it in half and just taking it every other day until I could find a new doctor, becasue I didn't feel that she should have just decided for me that Trazodone "wasn't a very good antidepressant", I had no complaints about my Trazodone. Well, I just went to my new doctor yesterday and she had no problems with anything. I gave her a list of the meds I was on(Trazodone was on the list). She gave me a thorough exam, listened to me, and then called in all my meds. I took my first 100mg Trazodone(remember the old doc wouldn't refill, and I hadn't had a full dosage in a while) last night and felt so much better this morning! I was waking to doom and gloom thoughts, barely able to roll out of bed to go to work when I was cutting it in half and taking every other day.
I tell people, I believe in God as my Saviour and I do a lot of praying, but sometimes some of us do have to take something to help us out. I hope that one day I will be able to get off the Trazodone, but until then.......
I hope this little rant of mine helps you Gailannie.
No, I'm not on any HRT. I was on it for about nine months total. The first time it made me have a light period the entire time I was on it(3months). The second time it made my hair fall out, I felt like I had been run over by a truck every day, and it bothered my fibroids.
Some people swear by it though. My sister was on Estrace(pill form) for five years and she loved it! She said it made her feel good and young again. But My sister had a partial hysterectomy years ago and she didn't have to have progesterone like I did. But her doctor would only let her stay on it for five years.
For heaven sakes, that's right! I should have remembered your story, but there's that meno brain again.
I've had some specific good moments with replacement. But as many side effects as "good moments" My hair happens to be one of those things that is severely effected by hormones. All the experts say that estrogen helps your hair (and again, I've experienced a few days of that) but for the most part, it seems to be progesterone that helps my hair. I'm really scared of it all falling out. And like you, I had dramatic hair loss (using vaginal estrace) really scary to see it fall out by the handfuls. But I actually felt better than I had in years. Plenty of energy, happy mood, sense of humor again, good sleep. Too bad my hair had such fits.
Thanks for your responses, it's always good to see what other women are doing.
OH YES I DO! It's actually quite frightening. It almost hard to even recognize myself in photos any more. Possible just that aging thing, but boy this is scary.
