I'm 20 and I have been depressed for about a month now, and visited my doctor almost straight away as these feeling were so uncommon to me. He started me on citalopram 20mg, which I have been on for about 25 days now. I do think positively, however I keep telling myself that it will get better, because that is what everyone says, but there is one major thing holding me back. All my life I have never really been attracted to anyone sexually, and kind of brushed it off as being picky or not finding the right person, however in september it just clicked that this wont change, and started thinking I am asexual. In my head, this means I will end up alone once my parents die, but I know that isnt true. I have already met another nice asexual online who gets me, so I dont know why I cant seem to shake this idea. My question is: will I be able to get over this depression with medication & therapy, even if the underlying cause (my sexuality) will always be there? Im really struggling to see the light and am so tired all the time.
Hi. Have you checked out AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network)? While being asexual can make relationships trickier, it doesn’t automatically mean you will be alone for life. Some can find non asexual partners that are accepting of our needs (especially if you’re not sex repulsed) or have less conventional relationships e.g open relationships. Others have been able to find an asexual partner. Obviously it’s different strokes for different folks. (I’m asexual but my partner isn’t.) Hope I’ve been vaguely helpful.
Hi great reply from Shaun. I am on the site he mentions because in my 60’s I finally realised I am asexual too. It’s not something which was ever talked about (or I had never really heard of it before) and I am sure my sexuality or lack of it is in part fueling my depression and has for many years now.
I think you are luckier than those of my generation in that it’s a lot more open and acceptable for your age group and I am sure you will find someone compatible to spend your life with if that’s what you want. x
Hi Marianne - depression is anger turned inward. Society expects us to live up to what they’re doing because they think they are doing is “right” and so it must be “right” for everyone. Safety in numbers and an inability to understand people are individuals. The only shades of anything they understand has to do with colours. You are supposed to be sexualised and straight, otherwise you are a reject.
I know exactly what that is. My advice: Get angry. Get attitude. Embrace the unique, individual, special addition to this world at this time that you are. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You need to like yourself - if you don’t, how can anyone else? Sex is grossly over rated.