Depression, Bi-polar, repeating behaviour and talking to other people

Mental health
1

Some of the things my partner says and does leads me to think that theres more to deoression going on.

After being on here a little while now I was wondering if anyone could tell me more about chemical inbalances and bi-polar?

We met 8 years ago and I know she was seeing someone else in the beginning when we got together but some of the things she is doing screams us back then, like the photos and joining sites and messaging "like you" to someone else. Although she has only been on tablets a little while we all think she has suffered with depression for a little over 10 years altogether so the things she does and says all seem to be repeating themselves....be it the above or her moods of 5 months of being fine, good and then 2 months of her being low and thinking she wants to leave! All the while still feeling numb and just no feelings for anything Her old partner gave up when she said she didn't want them anymore and that was that which is what people tell me to do  but knowing her and what is going on with her I won't and never will as she is my life!

Someone on here actually asked if she may be bi-polar and to be honest I don't know and not sure how to approach this with her as she says she only went on tablets in the first place to keep me sweet! She has begun to talk to the doctor ...I think if she actually goes to them but I think she has also come off her tablets secretly from little things she says and does although she tells me she is still taking them. She says she feels stronger in herself tho so not sure what to do??

Things are all over the place and i just need some advice from others in the same place really so i can help the women I love

2

Unfortunately the issue is that you can't force help on people, they have to want it themselves. I would tell her what you are worried about. Be really honest with her, say you are worried she has stopped taking the tablets, and tell her you think they were helping her. Let her know you are worried about bi-polar. Tell her you will love her and support her no matter what but that you want her to look after herself so she can be happy. Offer to go to the doctors with her and talk for her if she can't find the words (but be silent if she is talking).

Tell her how wonderful things are when she is happy and that you want her to feel that way all the time.

You have to be honest and throw everything out there, but in a really nice, calm, supporting and judgemental way. If she gets defensive and starts to argue, let her know you are only saying this because you love her, and try and diffuse the situation. Don't rise up to anything she says because this is one conversation that mustn't turn into an argument.

Ask her if she wouldn't mind at least trying to talk to the doctor, and if he gives her a new med as her to just try it for 8 little weeks to see if she feels any better. Give her the control, this has to be her choice.

Unfortunately, I have seen this scenario a million times. Either she will accept the help, you two will have a long journey ahead and it wont always be smooth but it will be rewarding. Or.. she refuses the help. And no matter what you feel now, eventually you wont be able to cope with her hurting herself and you will be forced to giver her an ultimatum... get help or you leave. Which may work. Just maybe. But unfortunately things often change for a few months and revert back.

The story sucks. I know. And I am not saying it to upset you as I am sure all these scenarios have run through your head a thousand times by now. But some people have to really, truly hit absolute rock bottom before they are able to accept help. It is an exceedingly difficult thing to watch. So if you stay, be aware that may happen.

I sincerely hope she is able to see where you are coming from and tries to get help. If she starts now maybe she will be more willing to accept more support the next time she has a high or her mood levels out.

You have a diffucult journey ahead of you. If things work out, it will be the most rewarding thing you ever do, and she will love you more than you ever thought you could be loved. That is the goal, and it is possible. So keep your eyes on the prize. And when she hurts you, which she will, remember it isn't really her, it is the illness, and if she were well, she wouldn't be doing it. Keep hold of that thought and it will help you through.

I hope one day she gets to realise how lucky she is to have someone like you standing by her side. I wish you the very best of luck!

3

Great reply Angels.   As for bi-polar why don't you google it?  x

4

Of course i will hypercat and have but was asking for people's personal ecperiances and knowledge of it more then anything!

Thanks Angels, alot to think about!