I am 16 and am going down the wrong track that I fear is no recovery. I used to be the joy of the class. At my middle school I was the class president and class clown and never hurt anyone. Positivity was the only thing I knew. It is truly a cliche story. I have slipped into something that I have no idea of. It feels that no matter how hard I try no matter how many "success though a positive mental attitude" books it is all just things that I know but I can't change it. That's the worst part, knowing what I need to change and just simply beyond words not being able to. Everything that I used to love is being pulled away before my eyes and I only hope that this experience will make me stronger. The thing is that everything I used to care about I struggle to care about because I get this feeling where I simply don't. I cannot help it. Just right now I am struggling to write this. It is hard to go about things when you can't even be yourself. Not sure what to do or what I need to do; however, that is a lie. I do it just feels like there is an anchor in my chest pulling me down every second. My grades, which used to be 4.0 are down to. 2.4 and connections with people I know are almost gone and the look they give me chips off a piece of me everyday. Listen, this is not a sob story or a plea for help I have tried to help people like this before I got to this. Just need people to understand, which I know if you are reading it is you do. If you are younger than me and are experiencing this what ever you are experiencing will pass and time will show you as it did me, just experience life and know that you are okay, but to people older than me experiencing this, you have an obligation to keep trying to yourself. More importantly you have an obligation to people like me. You have to, for us.
Hey sweetpea
Thank you for using this forum to share your feelings frustrations and insights. You sound like an amazingly astute and mature young woman. I am so sorry you are feeling like this right now. I believe you are depressed and could get a lot of excellent help for depression. You need to recognise that you have temporarily gone downhill moodwise and that distorts your feelings about yourself, and will affect your schoolwork. You owe it to yourself to ask for help. It may just be a passing phase but it may be more than that. I hate to hear how a confident capable girl like you, is going through a bad time that is affecting your everyday lifestyle and enjoyment. I understand all the feelings you describe and with help I got my life back to how it should be. There are so many options now, but put yourself in your doctors hands and ask what he or she thinks could help you.
Big hugs xxx
Hi,
Don't I know it! Depression also hit me in puberty and my son has it too but there is hope. You are doing the best thing by asking for help. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I found out that I don't make enough serotonin, a brain chemical that keeps people out of depression. They have some new antidepressants on the market that trigger the brain to make more seratonin called SSRI's or Select Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors. These are superior to a lot of the older medications used to treat depression. You need to see a doctor that treats depression like a Psychiatrist that knows how to dispense psychiatric medication. The reason I say that is because any family doctor can put someone on Prozac for say, seasonal depression but for a person that does not make enough seratonin you may need to try a few different drugs before you find one that works with your brain chemistry. I say that because both my son and I have needed to change medications that stopped working. You get to feeling bad again for no reason. I am on a SSRI for 10 years now that works great but I have to be vigilant for signs of depression if it stops working.
I hope you have parents that understand and will get you the help you need or you could try a school counselor if your parents are not receptive. This is a serious disorder but the good news is there are medications to treat it out there that work really well. It feels like the sun coming out after a long period of rain when the medication starts working. Your concentration will be better and you will feel joy again from the inside. I'm sure your grades will improve once you feel better. It is not your fault, we are all wired differently and depression runs in families. I have a brother that has it. Don't give up!
Good Luck!
Well said Keleee. All the very best with recovering the real fantastic fun loving you again lamevanersmi.