hi again, i just had a depression episode again following with intrusive thoughts like i did about a month ago. it came back and im pretty much convinced that i have to leave my boyfriend of almost 3 years without a reason why. i did open up to him about it and as usual he was supportive. we have the typical relationship arguments but we both say stuff out of anger. mostly me because i have no filter when i am mad and do not know what is said till after i say it. just thinking about leaving scares me to no end because i do not have a reason to leave. i been out of work for almost a year due to an injury and it seems like i am falling down hill more and more everyday. i do not really leave the house much. i have moments where i am all happy and smiling then i fall right back down again. i do not know id i have anxiety mixed in because i never got a screening done but i am diagnosed with severe depression. it seems like everyone around me is lost on what to do... they try and talking me thorugh it but i just want relief. when i am in a good mindset i never have these thoughts and i am so so happy and calm but when i am in this mindset i am a huge mess... i never have thoughts on leaving him when i am calm. i had a crappy past with only relationships and i find someone whos good and its like i am trying to destroy it because of fear.
Can i ask what your intrusive thoughts were and you said to your boyfriend when you opened up to him?
pretty much anything negative like
do i really love him
do i wanna be with him
am i actually happy
anything like that
and i started talking to him about it a few months ago