Hi all, decided to post here because I found consulting forums like this often makes me feel a lot better about my symptoms, both physical and mental and I'm not getting much response in the anxiety section, so bare with me if it doesn't all correlate with depression... It feels better to know there are other people out there experiencing the same things as me. Please help me out. I am only 18 and I am sick of feeling as though something is terribly wrong with me.
I think the worst of this started about a month ago when I had a panic attack. I was having strange feelings in my chest and because I have a history of heart disease in my family and my uncle died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack, I believed I was having a heart attack and it escalated from there. Heart palpitations, chest pain, fast heart rate, sweating, etc. The same week I started having crying spells and had a major depressive episode where I was completely unable to leave the house and felt afraid to be alone for seemingly no reason. I believed (and still do) that something was severely wrong with me. I was on some medicine (antibiotics Nitrofurantoid and Flagyl) that do have both referred pain (pain in the chest that can go into arm) and depression as side effects, but it has been nearly a month since I finished them and I guess I still don't feel like "me."
Was still having really weird feelings in the left side of my chest that sometimes went into my arm/armpit. Went to the doctor to get checked out and she told me it could be side affects from meds but I likely have anxiety, probably along with some depression.. kind of upset because it seemed like she was immediately dismissing my symptoms without really checking me out.. such a sudden change in mood just seems weird to me. I am only 18 and aside from some digestive issues I have been suffering with lately (recurrent Cdiff) I am pretty healthy. I guess that is why she assumes.
It got a little better when I went back to school after break. Good to keep my mind occupied.. but then I started to experience headaches. They may be tension headaches as they don't last very long and are not too severe like a migraine would be... I also have occasional ear ache/jaw pain, which may be from clenching my jaw as part of being anxious.. but I just don't know. Something in the back of my head really thinks I have a brain tumor... Or HIV. Or cancer. Or a degenerative nerve disease. I try to stay off Google but I really want an explanation as to why and how my mood can change so quickly and why I feel these things physically.. December I was seemingly fine, and suddenly I am depressed and anxious and just feeling "off." Sometimes I can't really even describe what I feel, almost an emptiness. I have always been a little anxious and a bit of a hypochondriac, but nothing like this..
I don't leave my house much if at all. I just go to school and come home. When my mind is occupied at school and my sorority I think I feel pretty ok... but I will have these mood swings into a depressed state, or my palms will start sweating randomly (supposedly part of the anxiety) which scares me and again makes me think something is wrong with my brain.. it is truly exhausting. I just started going to therapy and it's nice to have someone to talk to that seems to get it but I just don't think she will be able to put my mind at ease about these health issues.
I am scared to try antidepressants or mood stabilizers. My sister was put on Zoloft years ago and it just made her worse. I am terrified of side affects from any and all medication. I feel like I don't trust my doctor anymore, and if I go in wanting an MRI or something she'll just say its the anxiety again. Was just doing research on the Gardasil vaccine that I've been getting, came across people whose children had adverse reactions, some even died, and now I am terrified and have cancelled the last dose of the vaccine. I am terrified of the colonoscopy I have to get in a few weeks... terrified of the potential side affects of the Suprep, terrified of complications with anesthesia/the procedure itself. Just overall worried about absolutely everything that has to do with my health.. which in turn makes me miserable and depressed. I cry all the time just thinking.
Sorry, that was a lot. Anyone else experiencing physical feelings or thoughts like this? Anybody had a sudden chance in personality/mood and mood swings like I described? I just don't know anymore... I want to believe it is just my mental state but my brain won't let me. Especially because of how suddenly this seemed to happen... please let me know if you have any idea how I might be able to cope better. I feel I am way too young to be feeling this way and I do not want to be like this for the rest of my life. [sad] Makes it very hard for people to want to be around me. My parents don't really understand