Depression- Maybe - please help

Mental health
1

So last year I was feeling pretty crap! I

Would sit in my room all the time and just basically cry, like all the time. I would get so angry at anything and everything people did! School was a nightmare, actually my life felt like a nightmare. I became a recluse, i didn't want to leave the house and I just wanted to be left alone. I got a lot of pains and aches everywhere and sometimes my whole body would hurt for no exact reason. To put it simply I HATED life! 

But you know, it seemed to get better, I had a lot of allergies that made me feel down all the time which I guessed was the cause of these feelings, they are still there but I'm on new meds. 

So if you haven't already gathered, I'm not a sociable person, I have 1 best friend. But I'm haven't even told her about this. Im so afraid of humiliation I don't feel like I can talk to anyone I know about this so I'm telling the people here.

But then I started to feel better, my life was turning up, I don't know what was different but whatever it is worked. Now the feelings are coming back. I really don't want to go anywhere, but it could be the aftermath of a panic attack I had. I feel so stressed and like crying and I am getting thoughts about self harm. I've had these thoughts in the past but I didn't want people to see it at school because then I would be classed as an 'attention seeker' and other things. Me and my friend had a near argument and it has knocked my confidence down even further. I feel like I'm back to square one with all the aches and pains and I am actually getting sickness feelings again. I'm also very paranoid which doesn't help things, if I'm in the house alone I convince myself someone is downstairs when no one is there. I do have a good family life but I just have all this negative energy and I would be quite happy to just shrivel up into a small hole and stay there for the rest of my life! Please if anyone has any advice I really need it. I don't know if what I had this year or last year can be classed as depression or if I'm just going through a bit of a rough bit but please if you have time, leave a comment smile 

Thanks 💜

2

Hello. Yes that sounds exactly like depression.  I'm not a doctor so I don't know but if there seems to be nothing to bring it on, maybe it's clinical depression. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I would suggest going to a therapist. Take it from me, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. There are always options out there to help you, even if it doesn't seem like it. And please do no hurt yourself. The most important thing I can tell you is that you are not alone. You must keep hope. I wish I could help more. But I strongly suggest making an appointment with a therapist. It has tremendously helped me and given me hope. 

Good luck!!! 

3

Hi thanks for replying so fast! I just need to courage to tell my mum and dad or just talk to them about how I am feeling, it's gonna be difficult because I don't want to be laughed at or ridiculed. It's getting worse and has been worse since I had my panic attack, I feel so stressed and just ill. I want to go to a therapist because then I could maybe talk it up and I think that this would help instead of holding it all in.

Again thank you very much 💜💜

4

No problem! I know sometimes people don't understand exactly how it feels so it's hard to explain that it's not something that can you go away. Some people will say it's all in you head and just think happy thought and it's not that easy. So just listen to your gut and go to a therapist. It will help. And if your parents don't understand, just remember that you are not alone in this. There are so many people going through the same thing you are!!! 

Stay strong and keep hope!!