Well I’m not sure where to start. I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression and put on 50mg of Sertraline. My wife has told me for years that I was, and that I should go to the doctors but I always felt too strong to be depressed. How could I be depressed??
A few weeks ago I started to find myself falling into a hole, lots of anxiety started to appear about absolutely everything and anything that could happen which pushed me further and further until I broke. Last week was absolutely horrendous and when I returned home from work this weekend I just broke down, it was like being hit by a bus. I could barely function and couldn’t stop crying, my mood was at a level of low I’ve never experienced and it genuinely scared me. I went to the doctors on Monday and was told that I was depressed which I already knew at this point, and was prescribed 50mg of Sertraline.
I started to take them on Monday night and am only on day 2 but they have sent my anxiety through the roof and my mind is working at 100mph. I’ve been reading a lot that this is common and should ease off but it’s absolutely awful and I’m so scared.
Hey! Just come across you’re post and am experiencing the same 8 weeks increase. Isit more mental or physical? My mind won’t switch if either I can barley look at my husband or daughter because the guilt and hopelessness that comes with it breaks me. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life. Reading reviews give me so much hope. Are you still able to do everyday things ? Sending so much strength xx
It’s only day 2 for me and it’s awful. I am quite jittery almost in a nervous kind of way but also my mind won’t switch off, millions of negative thoughts are in my head and I can’t seem to settle. I even found myself looking at extended life insurance in case something happened to me.
I’m away at work on my own so really struggling but I sat down with my kids on Monday night and explained what was happening with me, they are 15 and 20 and they were both amazing but I hate myself for burdening them with it. I just wanted to explain to them that my behaviour is nothing to do with them or my wife, that I loved them but that I was just low and needed help. I broke down and every time I think of it I do the same.
I’ve been reading reviews too but there are some mixed ones with how long it can take to settle the anxiousness and also to help with the depression. I’m sorry to hear that you’re suffering too because this really isn’t nice. I don’t know how long this has been lying in wait bubbling over but it’s crushing me and I feel hopeless too.
Have you just recently increased after your first 8 week period? What did you start on? x
It’s soul destroying honestly. I’ve been going through it for a year and a half trying to find meds to suit me and nothing has worked. I’m currently on 60mg duloxitine from 30mg 8 weeks ago. Well done for pushing through and going to work! Your kids understand that this isn’t you as a person and I’m sure they are proud of how well your doing reguardless of this horrible situation. I’m the same, I keep thinking of my little girl and partner and it feels like I’m grieving feels like I can’t be with them, but can’t be without them it’s so so cruel. The frustration it’s caused for us all has been so uncalled for. But the main thing is you’ve asked for help. That’s one day closer to recovery! X
It is, I agree completely. I never ever thought I’d be depressed. What’s worse is that my wife went through it over a number of periods in her life and I wasn’t there for her like I should have been, now I’m in that position and I know how it feels the guilt of that is destroying me. Every time I think of her feeling lonely or upset needing someone and I wasn’t there makes me feel like the worst human in the world.
A year and a half? That’s awful, is it for depression, anxiety or both? I’m sorry to hear you feel that way, I wish I could give you advice but you are so much further ahead in the journey than me. I’m sure your husband and daughter love you very much though, I doubt that will change.
Once I’m feeling in a better place mentally I’m going to speak to someone and get help. I think I have a lot of underlying issues I need to get out of me. Bottling stuff up has taken it’s toll on me I think. Setraline is the first type of medication I’m trying and they put me at 50mg…I can only hope and keep everything crossed x
We all make mistakes so don’t be to hard on yourself. Easier said than done I know, has anything triggered this for you at all? And are you working away constantly or back home to? Try not to spend to much time alone, although I get it. It was mainly for anxiety tbf but as I’ve reacted to so many medications it’s caused me to become really, really depressed. A place I’ve never been to before. Alls I can think about is losing everything around me and having no control over it. Thought about mental hospitals, everything. Just nothing that will take this evil cruel illness away. Yes let’s pray! And going off reviews so so so many people feel worse before they begin to get better xx
Mistakes are one thing, and maybe a few weeks ago I could have said that but being where she has been has made me realise it wasn’t acceptable and I’ve got to live with that.
I work away from home Mon-Fri, I’m in an office with other people but on an evening I’m on my own which is awful but I try to do anything to keep my mind off things which is hard.
I’m sorry to hear that the depression has been caused by the anxiety treatment. Do you think that’s been caused by it not working? Mine was for the depression but the Anxiety is a common side affect which I’m hoping will settle as my body gets used to the drug. It seems horrendous on a morning, not sure if that’s because I take it at night. I get those thoughts, I’m worrying about my family if I die, losing my job, losing the house, finances…I wasn’t like this 4 weeks ago. I have everything crossed for you Ell. x
Me? well after talking to me wife last night, she suggested dropping to 25mg for a few days to see if that helps. I had a mad few hours earlier on but nowhere near as bad as yesterday if I’m honest. I don’t know if that’s just a one off, the reduction in medication or a genuine reduction. I’ll stick on this dose for 4 days and maybe go back to 50mg after the weekend.
I’ve done a lot of searching online and a lot of people seem to have done the same. x
Bit of an update, after 8 days taking a half dose (25mg) the side effects began to ease, the Anxiety calmed down, my sleep improved and so did my appetite. Honestly I started to feel a lot better and could feel myself slowly returning, at times I forgot about everything. I decided to go back to the 50mg dose which was originally prescribed and I’m now on day 3, I’m back to feeling slightly anxious and jittery but nothing like when I first started the 50mg 2 weeks ago. Having a bit of a crappy morning this morning but just keep telling myself to look at how I felt once the medication settled and the side effects dropped. I’m just hoping it does the same again and trying to stay positive, long weekend off so I’m hoping that helps with the medication adjustment.
Hello! Sorry about the late reply. I’m still so so up and down; intrusive thoughts crying spells and just genially scared. I had a okayish weekend but the thoughts where still there, how you getting on? Xx
No need to apologise, we all have lives to live and ourselves to look after which is the priority. I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t doing too good, the up and down moods are so frustrating aren’t they. You just think you’re getting somewhere and it’s back to the bottom again.
I spent a lot of time alone Sat and Sun, but yesterday was awful. I just couldn’t pick myself up or stop myself from crying so I know how it feels. It was my Anniversary too so I felt really bad for my wife, she understands but I hate being a burden to her. It’s still only early for me though, 15 days on Sertraline and 6 back on 50mg so I’m just hoping the thoughts and anxiousness settle like they did last week when I was on 25mg. I keep reading that it takes weeks to take effect and that it’s a very subtle improvement day by day so I need to tell myself to be patient. I’m hopefully speaking to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully he’ll guide me towards counselling as he mentioned it at my initial appointment, he said he’d discuss it further when he called me as I was too upset at the time.
Well one thing that’s been good is that I’ve managed to be out with my daughter enjoying the sun! Am taking it your from the uk? It’s been soooooooo hot!! Ah god, it really is such a ride. Sending lots of love and prayers. You think there’s no escaping it don’t you. Anywhere and everywhere you go it’s there. I look at people and think you have no idea what am going through, it’s brutal. What kind of thoughts are you having? Do you ever find yourself questioning every aspect of your life ? Like you think isit my life making me unhappy or my partner or my kids etc then that causes panic and sadness or is that just my crazy brain? Also got holiday in three weeks, to the carrabian which I’m petrified for to be in another country feeling like this. But I’ve got to do it. I’ll never overcome anything if I don’t. My mind feels like am going insane it’s horrible I always find the same thoughts every single day. We sure will. One day at a time xx
I also find am better in the evenings than I am in the day.. then wake up and it just hits me right in the face. The crying is horrific isn’t it it feels like you are literally grieving I’ve never know anything like it !! X
@ellxx That’s good that you managed to get out with your daughter, sun and exercise are supposedly good for depression. As for the holiday, wow lucky you…I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time, all that sun and no day to day life stresses might just help you. I wish we had a holiday booked, we held off and due to everything going on with flights etc we don’t want to risk it now.
Yeah I’m from the UK and the weather is amazing right now, but I see everyone enjoying it and hate that I aren’t because I used to. On Monday I literally sat in the shade in the garden while my wife pottered round doing bits. I felt guilty not helping but literally couldn’t move.
My thoughts are just things I can’t control and all negative, fear of losing my job and the financial stresses that come with it, the fear of losing my house and family home frightens the life out of me. I’d say the biggest one is the fear of losing my wife and family, we haven’t had the best couple of years and that worries me a lot that this will be too much for her. I’ve taken her for granted a lot over the last couple of years and that is my fault, I’ve had numerous warnings but have been too lost in myself to really take notice or do anything and I can see that now. I want to make things better but in this state I can’t do anything and that really worries me. I do wonder sometimes if they would be happier if I wasn’t around, I don’t mean anything drastic just if I didn’t live there bringing them down. I love being with them and if anything they are the one thing that picks me up but at the same time the guilt of this eats away at me. I sat with my daughter watching TV on Monday and just broke down and sobbed, I want to be better and stronger for them all but at the moment I’m not strong enough for myself.
The mood swings are awful though, mornings are usually my worst time too. I feel a little strange this morning though, I didn’t have the thoughts disturbing the latter part of my sleep like usual and I managed to sleep right through to my alarm. I’m not sure if that is progress or just the fact I was so tired. I’m not going to get too excited in case tomorrow pulls me back down, like you say 1 day at a time and we can’t rush it. x
Good morning Ell, how are you today? How’s your week been?
Well after my last message I ended up having a great day. Like I said I slept through to my alarm without being disturbed, I ended up having a good day at work and then after that I went on a 5km walk. I was shattered when I got back but it took me a while to get settled and get to sleep. I ended up with around 6 and a half hours sleep but slept through to my alarm again yesterday, the day wasn’t as good but I’m just trying to take the positives from it…I had a good day afterall. I slept through to my alarm today too, so that’s 3 days in a row now which is good.
The last 2 nights have been awful for me sweating though, around a certain point I wake up soaking but that seems to be a common side effect after an increase in dosage, I hope it settles soon because it’s not nice at all. Ruminations and Anxiousness are still there although I have noticed them settling and am finding my mind at peace sometimes. I’ve read that from the 2 week Mark side effects can start to settle, on Monday it will have been 3 weeks on Setraline but only 12 days back on the 50mg so I’m hoping by this time next week I’ll be seeing some improvement there.
Mornings still seem to be my worst time, not sure if that’s the reduction of medication in my system or something else. I read that it could be Cortisol because the body releases more cortisol in the early morning (around 4–8am). Anxiety disorders often feel worse at this time because your nervous system is already more activated when you wake up, but who knows.
