I'm under the suscpcian that I have been depressed for all my life but in the last week recently it's really hit me. A year ago (when i was 19) I had a psychotic episode i sucspect brought on by depression and did things which screwed things up. It ended when I came to except the thing that was aproaching, which i now belive was depression. I've heard it described as a mist which is what I would call it. Can't think so this will come out poorly. I did everything to fight it and one by one they failed or got obssesional or hurt sombodys feelings.
I never though have felt it this bad until the past week it's litterly the worst thing i've ever experieced which makes other things seem smaller in conparison.
Anyway i'm coming of my antipsychotics and starting anti depressents and hoping that that will make it stop. If it can help restore my former better self, my sense of humor and my want for interaction I had as a child then great.
Just wrote this hear as it helps to talk about it and I don't really have anyone to do that with. Any advice or questions would be appriciated.
I too believe I have suffered with depression and anxiety all my life!! Always worry about what other people think of me and always have even as a child. Always seeking people's reassurance (Like the proverbial puppy seeking a pat on the head!!)
I was first diagnosed with depression in the 1990's but in that day my G.P. advised me not to go down the medication route as it was then considered a last resort!!! Unfortunately this has lead to alcohol problems.
I'm now on Paroxetine and Propanaloland struggling to combat the alcohol issues.
Hang on in there mate and have to say since being given this site by my G.P. have found great solace in talking to people who suffer with the same symptoms as myself.
We can help each other by talking "a problem share is a problem halved" as the saying goes!! It certainly beats all the diots that tell you to "pull yourself together" heard that far too often.
Thanks alot for the reply. Reading this really beats attmpting to go about sharing the experience through film/book charecters, less filters is much more helpful. will try keep in touch.
Hello Ben. I am glad you have found us. Yes it helps to "talk" to people who understand what it is like to have depression. I hope you find support here.
Depression is a very difficult illness to live with. I am sorry you do not have anyone to support you through this. I do hope the anti depressants help you.
I have had depression for 30 years and have had some really bad episodes. I found anti depressants helped me a great deal.
I too found anti-depressants helped so much. I'm bipolar and take citalopram (anti-dep), risperidone (anti-psychotic) and diazepam. I was lucky in that for many years I had a suppoprtive psychiatrist who kept trying different combinations of meds until he found the right combination. I do know what you mean about it being a mist like effect, it was horrible and debilitating but I do want you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will beat this, just stay close to your psychaitrist if you have one, or gp if you don';t
By the way, which anti-psychotic were you taking and which anti-dep are you on?
Haven't started antidepressents yet so don't know yet (will somtime this week) have been on Amisuldpride and aripriprisole (Antipsychotics) for about a year.
I have always been on an anti-dep / anti-psychotic combo but found that some anti-psychotics gave me bad side effects like feeling zombified, a mist I guess, plus twitchy legs. There are so many to try and they all react differently to with different people. I don't think anti-psychotics on thwir own are good for depression though.
Hey Lizzie, how much risperdone are you on? I am bi polar and on lithium and citalopram and sometimes rispiridone, but get restless legs and zombie feeling on it. Don't like antipsychotics.
I take 3mg of risperidone at night and don't get restless legs with it, tolerating it really well and it defintely stopped both my hypomania and intrusive thoughts. I used to be on largactil, is that chlorpromazine? and promazine before that, both of which gave me restless legs so can sympathise with you. What doses are you on?
I came off it 3 months ago as I couldn't cope with side effects. Just take lithium and citalopram now. If I start hearing voices again will have to go back on it. Fingers x, as I have just gone back to work, I couldn't work on rispiridone as I am like a zombie on it. Do you work?
I'm retired now since 2013 when I turned 55 but I did work on risperidone for years very effectively. I have to say though the first few months were horrid, I felt so wooly brained, it helped taking them at night but it did take a long time to get used to them, but now I'm fine with them. I've never tried lithium but have heard good reports about it, citalopram has also been great for me but I really need an anti-psychotic and the old type like chlorpromazine were much worse for me. I was on Epillim (sodium valproate) for a few years but I came to the conclusion that I could do without it so stopped it and have been fine. Incidentally, I also have diazepam 5mg as required, which is not every day, I really don't want to develope tollerance and dependance on it as its such a useful drug.
I wish I could tolerate anti psychotics, but am really sensitive to them and have a bad time on them. If I get psychotic they bring me back and stop the voices, though. Did you feel emotionally flat on rispiridone?
I have felt emotionally flattened ever since starting meds for bipolar back in 1999, however, I learned to love it. I never get angry, never suffer even the slightest road rage and don't cry, hwever, I don't get emotioanlly engaged with people like I used too and I have become totally self sufficient. If you like love anger happiness sadness avoid bipolar meds. For me though this has become a weird sort of bonus, I feel almost permanently calm.
Stopped the rispiridone 3 months ago, but still feel emotionally flattened still. I take each day as it comes, I have been back at work part-time for 4 weeks, they have been great. Unfortunately if I get ill again I will lose my job. Just plodding on
I really hope you stay well and don't lose your job, it must be really scary for you. I think the emotional flattening will pass with time, some of these drugs stay in the system for quite a long time after you stop, unless of course its the litium thats doing it?