Hi, I could really use some help, some ideas what I could do to ease this, maybe some mental support.. I have suffered from anxiety for a really long time, and this year I've suffered especially from health anxiety literally all year. I'm sorry this is so long, but I feel like I have to mention all the aspects of why I have this fear in the first place..
Lately my health anxiety has got so severe that I fear all day every day and I feel like all I can do is try to look for help in every possible place. My worst fear, the one keeping me rather incapable of functioning and really messing up my life, are brain aneurysms. I'm 26 years old and I don't have them in my family as far as I know, but the reason for my anxiety are these really weird feelings I've had in my head for about a month now, things I've never felt before.
At first I felt really bad tiredness everyday for 1-2 weeks, no matter how I slept I would just keep dozing off during the day. I saw a doctor about it, had blood tests done and they came back normal. Next I started feeling pressure in my head, a sensation kind of like there was an internal pressure building up in there. At times it seemed to be worse when I lied down, like someone opened some a "faucet" of pressure and started filling my head with it when I lied down. I could almost imagine the sound of it filling up. But at times it would also appear when upright. Then the pressure feeling lessened and instead I started feeling a strong sensation of weight in my head, like my head was pulling me directly downwards, or like gravity of the earth was pulling me down. I could still walk without falling, but I preferred to sit or lay down because it was so uncomfortable. This too, would at times also seem to worsen when lying down. I ended up at the hospital for this, because I was uncomfortable standing for more than a couple of minutes. At this point I didn't have a lot of headaches yet, the doctor couldn't tell what it could be and gave me some medication to relax muscles, in case my tense neck/shoulder muscles were causing it. It did seem to ease the tension I had felt in my shoulders and upper back, but it didn't help at all to the head pressure / weight sensation.
And then finally came the headaches. Now I've had headaches every day for about a week, always starting the moment I wake up and may either stay bad all day, or ease towards the evening, and start again next morning. (I don't typically get a lot of headaches, I had another period of daily headaches a few months back for about 2 weeks.) One night I woke up a few hours after going to bed to feeling insanely heavy, the heaviest I have felt so far. Still managed to sleep a bit but woke up soon after to a headache that felt like tension headache, but more intense. Then it kept getting more and more intense during the day, no painkillers helped me, so I ended up at the hospital again. I said I was anxious about it and asked for a brain scan, they did a CT scan and the doctor said it was normal and that I just have a tension headache, then gave me some more powerful painkillers. Now, I find it hard to believe in tension headaches because I've had them before and it's never been like this. During this headache there were moments I could momentarily see my heartbeat in my vision and I was frightened. Painkillers have always helped me before, and I've always thought tension headaches rather worsen towards the evening while mine is always the opposite. I'm also really puzzled with the other head sensations I've had.
Okay, so my CT scan was clear, but now I'm just scared that the CT didn't show an aneurysm that hasn't ruptured yet but that is perhaps showing symptoms that it's going to, and I'm absolutely horrified about this. The next day after my hospital visit, the intense headache subsided after about 30 hours and it was gone for the rest of the day. This morning, however once again I had a mild headache waking up, it has just been milder today. I still saw a bit of slight "flickering" or pulsating in my vision in time with my heart when I woke up, and occasionally I feel like I see really quick bright flashes in the edges of my vision, or black spots. I did have a routine eye exam recently for a glasses prescription (only a very slightly worsened vision in both eyes apparently, although I feel like my left eye is slightly blurrier than my right one.) and they didn't say anything was amiss there. I also have occasional mild pains in my left eye also kind of scaring me because I know eye pain could be a symptom of aneurysms.. And I also have other left-sided issues that come and go but they're almost always left-sided, like numbness in fingers, heaviness in the arm, tightness in the left side of the neck (still mobile though) and sometimes I feel a noticeable pulse above the left ear especially with headphones on (but almost never on the right side).
What should I do? I feel like doctors I've talked to just don't seem to take my symptoms very seriously, they have done a basic neurological exam (twice, two different doctors) checking for reflexes and things like that, and I've described my symptoms as well as I could, and they did the CT and I've also had an EKG to rule out heart arrhythmias. Apparently all of those were normal, but I still can't get over my fear.
Could these kind of symptoms potentially have to do with an unruptured, growing aneurysm? Does it sound like I shouldn't worry about this or should I still keep insisting for more tests, or what else should I do to ease this awful fear? I feel like I really don't want to bother them constantly and feel like a nuisance, but I just can't seem to get a peace of mind. All I keep thinking about is how I'd like some kind of MRI to have a better look at the veins, to be more sure. Am I just freaking out about nothing? What could I do to emotionally feel more at ease, because I know that even if I did ask for a MRI or something, even if they agreed to it (they might not if they don't see a reason for it), it would take time because there's a waiting list and I need some help in the meantime anyway so I won't completely lose my mind over this..