as context, i’d been abusing DXM recreationally (initially 200mg 2x per week, then 375mg 1-2x per week. but by october 2025 i suddenly got huge cravings so i was having way more of it than normal, probably like multiple bottles in one day day all of a sudden) for 1 year and pregabalin recreationally for 3 or 4 months (initially 300mg 1-2x per week, by october 5-8x a week) by this point in time (I have been sober since october 2025). by october 2025 i never spent a day sober, i was always taking either pregabalin or DXM, over time the intervals between either substance got shorter and shorter, and i started having more benders of DXM due to uncontrollable cravings. these felt a lot different than the normal 2nd plat dose. instead of the usual “nostalgic, pleasant, slightly dissocated feeling”i remember a lot of dread, dysphoria, hallucinations, more intense dissociation. on halloween, just before downing my final bottle, i already noticed my the sensations at the top of my head felt weird. upon administration i remember the worst panic attack i’ve ever had in my life, i could barely see what was going on around me, which was very unusual for me on DXM. the day after (november 1st) even long after the feelings of panic and terror had gone away the entire time my head had felt as though my brain had turned into stone, i could feel my brain in my head. it’s very hard to describe. i can’t tell if it really has improved or only my perception of it has evolved, but i feel as though it might be gradually getting better especially if i fast (and it worsens whenever anxious or sleep deprived). i have been sober since october because idk if drugs are safe because of how my head feels and i dont understand how exactly this happened. i am not condoning or encouraging creational drug abuse, i just cant seem to find any relevant info about this anywhere on the internet (doctors think it is anxiety or DP DR. i don’t think it’s either. all UK doctors have never heard of DXM anyway or at least recreational use of it) i think i might have non visual HPPD i’m not entirely sure. it might have something to do with both drugs depleting glutamate or something. as of march 2025, especially whenever fasting, sometimes all of my surroundings suddenly feel unuusally vivid and nostalgic (which feels more pleasant) or sloppy slimy gooey (unpleasant) out of nowhere i’ve never had this before.