Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

Mental health
1

Hello, I am wondering whether I have an eating disorder? I am currently diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder with Psychosis. 

I go through stages of starving myself, then bingeing, then repeating for quite a while, but now I have started to take 10 laxatives in the morning before breakfast, then 10 laxatives before eating dinner, then 10+ laxatives before bed. I am starting to get worried about what this could do to my body, but I can't seem to stop myself from taking them. 

Can anyone help?

2

Hi Vikki, first of all, thanks for coming forward. It's important to accept that you have an issue, so well done for having the confidence to disclose.

Please don't post the numbers on this forum. Any illness of this nature is competitive and posting weights, behaviours etc can be triggering to others.

Before I respond to the eating disorder question...

Everyone's bodies respond differently. You have taken an overdose. 

Laxatives are a medication used to relieve constipation. I don't actually believe in the need for their existence, as I feel that constipation can be alleviated by good nutrition.

The recommended dose if you suffer with constipation is 2 tablets. If you continue to suffer symptoms after 3 days, you should seek medical advice.

Any more tablets than this is an overdose. The number you have taken might kill one person. Another person will be fine.

Laxatives are EXTREMELY dangerous. The reason people die from taking laxatives is because they cause dehydration. They do NOT cause weight loss.

You suffer a loss of fluid, causing a severe imbalance of electrolytes, which will put pressures on your cardiac systems.

From the numbers you have been taking, you should ask to have blood tests done, and an ECG.

You will likely be suffering with low potassium levels, and to rectify this, you can add in bananas which are high in potassium, and milk.

Please cut out the laxative abuse. You can stop this behaviour. 

Throw the laxatives away. All of them.

When you are tempted to buy more, think to yourself, ACT OPPOSITE.

Carry a flash card with you to remind you not to buy them.

Carry a stress ball or another self soothe object, to help you not to buy them.

Ring a friend as a distraction.

Take a breath, and think about what you are doing to yourself before buying them.

I have written some useful responses on bingeing, and eating disorders, if you click on my profile.

But for now, I think the most helpful thing you can do is work to eliminate this trigger for yourself.

 

3

Hey,

I have recently been diagnosed with anorexia,

I have recently started to take laxatives and I feel very hooked to them.

I have taken appetite surpresants and diet pills for a couple of years now but the laxatives are new to me.

I get stomach pain from taking them and they make me feel very sick however IF i do eat, this helps me feel better knowing I can flush it back out.

I know they are very dangerous and I am also diabetic which makes it even worse for me, however I get very upset and angry when I eat and I do not settle unless I have taken something or had a very long session in the gym to compensate.

Do you feel the same guilt when you eat or do you just generally take them? I am interested to know if anyone knows how to reduce this guilt, as I feel I am ordering them as stock ready for use.

4

Hi Megan.

I'm sorry to hear that you've recently been diagnosed with an eating disorder. However, I am pleased that you have a diagnosis, and hopefully this means you will have adequate access to care soon.

Whilst you are waiting, there are clear steps you can take.

1) Book in regular check ups with your GP, to monitor your weight, and have your bloods and heart checked.

2) Keep a food and mood diary to keep tabs on your "peak" points, and help to analyse what are some of the thoughts which might be causing anxiety.

3) Try and reduce some of your behaviours, gradually (I'll come onto this shortly). e.g. laxatives, exercise

4) Register with Big White Wall (if it is not free in your area, you may be able to get a referral from your GP to access it), and utilise some of the free support on there.

Please could I refer you to the post I wrote, above in relation to laxative abuse.

I also want to add reiterate that laxatives do not cause weight loss.

Your weight will decrease when you measure yourself on the scale, because it is water loss that you have experienced, and dehydration.

I would like to add further that diet pills are equally dangerous. I'm sure you heard about the fatality just a couple of weeks ago.

More importantly, they are a complete waste of money. They don't work.

Just apply this logic (which my dietician spelled out to me). If they did work, they would be available widely on the NHS to tackle obesity.

You probably know all this, but it helps to be reminded.

You are outlining common bulimia based behaviours. This is the want to be rid of something. So abuse of exercise, abuse of laxatives and vomiting are all getting rid of feelings which are uncomfortable.

Physically, you may be feeling very poorly if you are taking these drugs, and this is why it is very important that you speak to your doctor.

However, I wouldn't expect you to stop over night either, as it's not an easy thing to do. But you can reduce what you are doing and this will help.

You mentioned the feeling of guilt, and the uncomfortable labelling that you had provided that feeling - then wanting to be rid of it.

Having just come back from my weekly mindfulness class, and spent my recent episode of therapy learning DBT techniques, my response would be that you need to learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings, rather than be avoidant of them. What you are currently doing is avoidance - taking a drug to temporarily block the feeling, but the uncomfortable feeling is not going to go away. So by taking a laxative, or throwing up, or not eating, you are putting a plaster over a wound. Make sense?

Part of the solution is to work to feel the feelings, sit with them, understand them, and not judge them. 

But I think it's important you sort out the physical issues first. Keep positive, and don't order any more laxatives please.

5

p.s. I am even more worried because you mentioned about the diabetes.

You have to be incredibly careful lovely. Please please be transparent with the GP. 

I don't think you realise how much danger you are putting your body in.

6

Thankyou for your reply I am so glad I joined this in terms of reading/writing to people who understand rather than people who look at you strange when you ask how many calories are in things. I do take into consideration what you are saying and I have print screened it to refer back to it. Recently I have felt suicidal, I don't see why we fight for a healthy life when we are content with the life we have already had or not willing to go further, the only thing that has stopped me is my family and friends, I can see how much this is hurting my mum which I am so fond of, we have parted so much because of how worried she is and I react in a defensive manner. In terms of me getting diagnosed I have been messed about, I was referred to a specialist hospital, diagnosed and then discharged suddenly, I have spoken to my diabetes nurse and my GP and they are disgusted at this and I am in the process of being re referred until then I feel very lost. To conclude, I feel I don't care the affect I am causing myself I wouldn't care if I died tomorrow which I know is very wrong, hit a brick wall

7

I know this must be hard for you.

That's a good tip, screenshotting this as a motivator.

I have a positive mirror, which I have a collection of positive reminders, from postcards, to flashcards to things that will help me in my recovery.

I'm sorry to hear about the NHS. Try not to lose heart, and keep sticking with your GP who sounds terrific. Please don't do what so many people do, and get worse to get help. There are ways around it. 

One of the reasons why you are feeling suicidal and depressed, is because of the irregularity of your eating, and the diet pills. Diet pills cause extreme mood fluctuations, and can cause heart arrhythmias, which anxiety makes worse.

Your irregular eating really makes depression worse. People with eating disorders tend to really suffer with depression.

You can't make it go away overnight, but you can start to put in small recovery motivators. Maybe be kind to yourself.

I encouraged a friend of mine to spend some time with himself just for a couple of hours. This has started his journey, because now he is socialising more.

Yes, you matter a lot to your friends and family. But right now the problem that needs sorting is what is happening with you, and not with them. You can't control how they are feeling. You could be having the best day ever, but that wouldn't stop them from feeling angry, hurt, upset with you.

You can only manage your own feelings. But that doesn't stop you from being caring...does that help a little?